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[JoshuaFH]

Just took my first jog around the block. Feels pretty OK even if I'm out of breath and sweating like a hog.

I should start up an exercise thread, a quest to fitness type of thing, and record my progress if I keep up at this.

[isometrist]

Just took my first jog around the block. Feels pretty OK even if I'm out of breath and sweating like a hog.

I should start up an exercise thread, a quest to fitness type of thing, and record my progress if I keep up at this.

Sounds like a great idea! I'd suggest taking before-and-after photos, too, if you're comfortable doing so. Good luck!

[Hanslanda]

Sometimes, when I feel down and hate myself for being the forever alone guy, I go here:
 
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouAreNotAlone

Then I go into the real life section. Sometimes I cry a little. Don't tell anyone, its a secret.  Whoever you are, JoshuaFH, where ever you are, whatever your life is like, just remember that you are never truly alone. We are all here with you. Some of us are in exactly the position you are in. I myself see and talk to beautiful women every day, and every day I know they are out of my reach. Despair is evil. Self hate is just as bad. Sometimes I'm afraid I'm asexual, or 'deviant' somehow. Maybe I'm just not right for that whole deal, you know?
Fuck that. I'm not a quitter, and I know what I want. I just haven't met her yet.


Keep jogging Joshua, every time you do, you helping me make it through another day.

[JoshuaFH]

Thanks for all the encouragement guys. Isometrist and Hanslanda, I don't know you guys very well, but it feels nice that other people can be supportive of a stranger like I.

I think I'll go ahead with my exercise thread, and keep up with the plan, however roughshod it is at the moment.

[Hanslanda]

Pay it forward. You might just save a life or change the world.

[The Fool]

You're far from the Forever Alone guy. You really do just need a little more confidence. People only come across as creepy if they seem hesitant about approaching or extremely nervous about something. If you can ask someone out the worst that can happen is them saying no, so don't lose sleep over asking.

The fact that you feel the need for affection means that you're already leagues ahead of me. Knowing that I don't have actual feelings (I actually don't mind. Hooray for personality disorders!) for people means that I'll probably be Forever Alone a lot longer than anyone here. I highly doubt that I'll have an emotional relationship longer than a year in my life. You can succeed where I cannot truly. I'm jealous.

Good luck!

[JoshuaFH]

That was my mindset as well, that I just was some guy with some disorder, and I couldn't hope to feel emotions like I have in these past few weeks, that I was just an outlier in society doomed to loneliness and that was the end of it. But as I said, it was just this little thing, this little romance I never saw coming, that would end up never amounting to anything at all, that tore that perception of myself apart.

Thank you for your kind words though, and good luck with your asexuality, or whatever you'd call it.

Something I'm not sure I've mentioned is that before my perception was changed, I had this fantasy where I'd change my name, make up a new identity for myself, and then just move somewhere where noone knew me, and then just live a lie as a person that didn't feel like a disastrous failure his entire life. Such was my self-deprecation that I wanted to be somebody else, in a literal sense.

[The Fool]

That was my mindset as well, that I just was some guy with some disorder, and I couldn't hope to feel emotions like I have in these past few weeks, that I was just an outlier in society doomed to loneliness and that was the end of it. But as I said, it was just this little thing, this little romance I never saw coming, that would end up never amounting to anything at all, that tore that perception of myself apart.

Thank you for your kind words though, and good luck with your asexuality, or whatever you'd call it.

Actually it's a lack of emotional connection, not attraction. I've had a girlfriend before, yet I had no emotional connection. I think it might have been a little unnerving for them. I actually do have a personality disorder. Like I said, I'm jealous.

I appreciate the sentiment though.

[johnPeteres]

It's all in your mind dude. Get out of your own shell. Failures will always be there but there are plenty of girls out there. You might get busted by your early tries but it will surely give you an insight on what to do next and how to handle it. All you need is an experience. Don't be afraid to fail.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

If you can ask someone out the worst that can happen is them saying no, so don't lose sleep over asking.

No, no it most certainly is not the worst thing that can happen.

[forsaken1111]

If you can ask someone out the worst that can happen is them saying no, so don't lose sleep over asking.

No, no it most certainly is not the worst thing that can happen.

I'm curious what responses aside from yes/no you expect from this?  I mean, if the woman you ask out is rude or makes fun of you, she wasn't worth asking out to begin with and you shouldn't take it personally that she is a horrible person.

[Hanslanda]

If you can ask someone out the worst that can happen is them saying no, so don't lose sleep over asking.

No, no it most certainly is not the worst thing that can happen.

I'm curious what responses aside from yes/no you expect from this?  I mean, if the woman you ask out is rude or makes fun of you, she wasn't worth asking out to begin with and you shouldn't take it personally that she is a horrible person.

Have you ever been in a bad relationship? Not like, "Oh, she's a bitch sometimes." No, I mean a truly bad relationship.
You ask her out, and she says yes. Elation. So you date for a couple months and its great, then she starts undermining your self worth with little comments, little actions. 'No, I don't want my friends to meet you, I'd be embarrassed.' Stuff like that but more subtle. This goes on for months, maybe years. Eventually, you fight back. Every time she does something cruel, you do the same thing back. But all is not fair in love and war. She gets upset, angry, pulls away while remaining close. Saying she's leaving you, but not actually leaving. A healthy person would let them go. Me, I don't think I'm exactly healthy. So I try to keep the person, afraid of trying to find a new girlfriend, desperate to keep someone.
Then the real !!fun!! starts.
She starts cheating, or has been the whole time. Or she leaves you for someone else, and when they dump her, she comes back to you for a rebound.

Actually, I can't explain more because I'm getting flashbacks now, and I don't want to ruin my whole day because I tried to explain how much worse things can be to someone on the internet. Do you get the idea though? A bad relationship can fucking kill you or eat your soul. Its not all easy, 'Just ask em out and don't be scared.' Some of us have DAMN good reasons to be scared.

Have a nice day.

[Ehndras]

Do it, man. Do it.

I was once a super-nerdy loser who got his ass kicked constantly and didn't even look people in the eyes. I used to stutter, I had 0 friends, I was the epitome of 80s-90s nerd.

Today, I have a dozen women who want to get in my pants, women flirt with me wherever I go, I'm working full time at a well-paying gig, and I feel fucking great.

Why?

Because I lost everything humanly possible except my life. My home, fiance, job, family. When I had NOTHING, I realized I had EVERYTHING to live for.

From there, it was just about keeping the attitude up. For the first month I kept fading back into depression but another month and I was used to it. Now, its completely natural. I'm confident, feel great, am back to exercising, cut down my belly, and have gotten back to actually living a life rather than subsisting in misery.

I'm still a super anti-social person due to my shyness, but its offset by my overall confidence and happiness.

This is coming from someone who's had one hell of a f*cked up life. I was born with a rare genetic disease and was supposed to die before the age of 7, this disease makes it very difficult for me to stay healthy and as such I've nearly died of anemia and related illnesses a number of times, my hardcore alcoholic father died of cancer when I was 8, my mother practically abandoned me because she was out of her mind and dying of cancer, I was raised at the houses of whoever would take me in while having to keep an eye on Mom and bring her to the hospital 3-4 times a week, I was sexually, physically and psychologically abused multiple times by multiple people, I had severe clinical depression, anxiety disorders and panic attacks strong enough to stop my breathing, OCD (CDO, damn it!), got my ass beat by groups up to 8 guys throughout grade school (who the hell beats up a 1st grader? Seriously?), lost my virginity at 18 to my 4-and-a-half-year ex-fiance (fiance at 18? Worst idea ever) who was psychotic, suicidal, violent, and absolute chaos, starved for 2 years while supporting her, electricity shut off for most of the winter, no fridge or utilities, no car, lost my job, my mother hasn't even lived in the same country since I was 16 and never had the means to help support me, one of my two siblings spent all his time doing drugs and partying while I was alone at god knows where while my other sibling has never even met me, and so much more shit. As my family and friends say, I was forced to become an adult before I even hit pubery, and it seriously f*cked up my life and my emotional state.

And guess what? I turned out fine. Better than fine. I'm on my way to owning my own business, I make 600 dollars a week on average (it fluctuates), I somehow managed to graduate from high school even though they tried to kick me out for (non-violently!) defending myself when a bully attacked me in the middle of class, I've become close to my mother again for the first time in a decade (she's actually here in the USA visiting me! Woo!), I feel and look great, and I'm becoming healthy again.

My point is, no matter how shitty everything is, you can do it. You can do better. You can learn to be comfortable with yourself, make friends, find love, and live a good life.

Why?

Because you're alive, that's why. You faced the most difficult challenge of actually getting to this world and growing up to reach adulthood. Now? You've got the whole fucking world ahead of you.

The world is yours, man. The world is yours.

[forsaken1111]

If you can ask someone out the worst that can happen is them saying no, so don't lose sleep over asking.

No, no it most certainly is not the worst thing that can happen.

I'm curious what responses aside from yes/no you expect from this?  I mean, if the woman you ask out is rude or makes fun of you, she wasn't worth asking out to begin with and you shouldn't take it personally that she is a horrible person.

Have you ever been in a bad relationship? Not like, "Oh, she's a bitch sometimes." No, I mean a truly bad relationship.
You ask her out, and she says yes. Elation. So you date for a couple months and its great, then she starts undermining your self worth with little comments, little actions. 'No, I don't want my friends to meet you, I'd be embarrassed.' Stuff like that but more subtle. This goes on for months, maybe years. Eventually, you fight back. Every time she does something cruel, you do the same thing back. But all is not fair in love and war. She gets upset, angry, pulls away while remaining close. Saying she's leaving you, but not actually leaving. A healthy person would let them go. Me, I don't think I'm exactly healthy. So I try to keep the person, afraid of trying to find a new girlfriend, desperate to keep someone.
Then the real !!fun!! starts.
She starts cheating, or has been the whole time. Or she leaves you for someone else, and when they dump her, she comes back to you for a rebound.

Actually, I can't explain more because I'm getting flashbacks now, and I don't want to ruin my whole day because I tried to explain how much worse things can be to someone on the internet. Do you get the idea though? A bad relationship can fucking kill you or eat your soul. Its not all easy, 'Just ask em out and don't be scared.' Some of us have DAMN good reasons to be scared.

Have a nice day.

No, I've never been in a relationship like that. I did have a girlfriend who treated me badly once, and I left. I'd prefer being alone to being in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect me.

Not trying to belittle your past but I'd never allow myself to get into that situation.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Not trying to belittle your past but I'd never allow myself to get into that situation.

Getting trapped in an abusive relationship is one of those things that happens to other people. It would never happen to me.

People don't stay with an abusive partner because they're allowing themselves to. Its an emotional and psychological trap which is inherently difficult to escape. Were it easy to leave an abusive relationship we wouldn't need women's shelters and the like.