Actually, he's failing at throwing cheese because THIS IS STUPID.
Turn 8
Well that was an unlucky role. Running out of options...did you mean by the best team, you meant Ripley, Samus, the Doctor?
Authorize an unmanned drone to take a look at the thing. If it knocks out electrical devices, send a particularly brave operative ( from any government organization ) to spy on it, and report back a detailed summary of the thing.
2+1=3: The drone drops to the ground when it gets 100 feet from the thing. Unfortunately, you can't find any brave operatives, so you decide to go look at the thing yourself.
THROW THE CHEESE! As a peace offering, of course.
5+1=6: You throw the cheese. When it is about to hit the thing, the thing flashes brightly and absorbs it. You hear a faint clicking sound from inside it.
Make the VEGETABLE SQUAD! Get the most creative and physically strong chefs around America to assemble. Equip them with down-sized versions of the cabbage guns, rocket launchers that fire out potatoes, and tomato bombs.
5+1=6: You now have an army of chefs with ridiculous food-based weapons. Their most prized weapon is the pumpkin cannon. You turn around for a moment, and they disappear. What pumpkin cannon?
Oh, and everybody else is gone, too. It's just the 5 politicians outside, and Imakuni and the "experts" in the bunker.
Spooky.
"Well... Erm... Anybody have any ideas on what to do about this whole alien thing?"
No Roll:
KILL THEM ALL!
AND THE EGGS!
We can't just kill them! That would be wrong! They haven't done anything to us! We could learn so much from them!
They could be so useful to us. I'm not saying they'll explain all of life's mysteries... but they'll explain all of life's mysteries.
That was exactly as helpful as you expected it to be. You're still stuck in the bunker, and your head still hurts.
Repurpose emergency foodstuffs as nuclear weaponry.
1+2=3: You repurpose the nuclear foodstuffs as emergency weaponry. Wait, what?
Sorry for the delay...
Well, that was a close one. Hopefully I still have hair so whoever steps out of the sphere doesnt assume we are all slightly scorched.
Find a small stick - first contact will require some "squiggles in the sand" for initial communiciations unless they have some kind of hypertranslator
4+2=6: You find a large stick. You also decide to speak softly to whatever comes out of the sphere.
The clicking grows louder as a slice of the sphere starts to lower. It becomes a handy ramp, which the aliens can use to descend onto Earth from. Wait, ALIENS?
CALLED IT!
The aliens speak to the 5 politicians gathered around.
Greetings. We do not have much time, so let us skip the pleasantries. We are running from a group that seeks to destroy us. Your planet would be the ideal hiding place. Allow us to live here and hide, and we will repay you with all that we can offer. Will you accept our request?
1.5 hours remain...
Voting round! The 5 of you (everyone but Imakuni) discuss amongst yourselves the situation. You have 2 days (from this post) to place your vote. Voting works just like declaring an action. You can change your vote as much as you like, but whatever your vote is when I count them is what it will be for the next turn. This period will still count as 1 turn (30 in-game minutes).
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Topic: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition (Read 34388 times)