So, I'm back from accidentally'ing my hard drive. Writing the turn now.
Turn 7!
Damnit man! The potatoes aren't working! Fire the cabbage mini-guns!
Start producing anti-air cabbage mini-guns!
6+1=7: You order the factories to produce cabbage mini-guns. They give you rapid-fire cabbage cannons that fire cabbage missiles with nuclear warheads. You fire them all. They fly straight at the bright ball and...
Disappear. What?
The ball is bigger, brighter, and moving faster now. The Russians are even more pissed off. You didn't think that was possible.
Damn, okay then, upgrade potatoes with rocket propulsion systems and nuclear warheads!
5+2=7: OH JESUS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
Unfortunately, in test launches of non-nuclear potatoes, it has been proven that rocket-powered potatoes do not, in fact, fly. They shoot up in the air, and then fall straight back down. You wisely decide not to fire them.
In other news, people from Idaho are rioting, and the Irish government is calling the United States military, trying to buy weapons.
Continue to blast the comet with music! Then, PREPARE THE LEGIONS TO THROW THE CHEESE. Don't forget one guy to yell "yay"
3-1=2:
So stupid, in fact, that it doesn't happen.
Well, we've managed to piss off the aliens AND the Russians. We have no clue what that meteor thing is going to do, so there is really only one sane thing that we can do.
Send one more message to the news networks, advising citizens to get into bomb shelters. Then, lock myself and any other important people who decide to come along (such as the president, if anybody has any clue where he ran off to) in the White House bomb shelter.
6+1=7: You send one more message to the news networks, telling everyone to go hide. And then another. And another. And another. And, with each message you send, you flip out more.
You manage to get in one last message before the White House Press Secretary starts strangling you.
"EVERYONE GET TO THE CHOPPAH I MEAN SHELTERS"
You lock yourself and the alien experts into the White House bomb shelter. You realize that probably wasn't a good idea, since they were your key to understanding what the aliens were when they come. Unfortunately, the shelter has a time-controlled lock, and cannot be opened for one hour.
You're going to miss the Fire in the Sky coming down. That might not be such a bad thing.
While everyone else cowers away from the greatest moment in recorded history, arrange a reception/first contact meeting group to be near where the energy ball thingy will be landing.
2+2=4: You stand right where where the energy ball thingy is going to land. You can feel the energy radiating off of OH GOD IT BURNS!
Create a special squad of super-elite soldiers, the best of the best, drawing from every aspect of the U.S. military spec ops. They must all be at least proficient in all forms of modern-day combat, strategy and tactics, all types of vehicles, electronics, mechanics, survival skills, and will be briefed on EVERYTHING we know ( so far ) about aliens. These men and women will become the most effective, self sufficient special forces squad in history. If they can be gathered together quickly, have them posted near the touchdown site, hidden, and with sniper rifles and anti-tank weapons ready.
They shall be called...
1+1=2: You realize you already have the best team that can be assembled. Unfortunately, they're locked in a bomb shelter.
The Fire in the Sky rapidly approaches. Just before the intense heat kills all life forms in a 100-mile radius, it transforms into a perfectly-round metallic ball, about 20 feet in diameter, and touches down slowly.
All of the White House staff seems to have disappeared, along with the rest of Congress. All of the television sets are showing static. It's eerily quiet... Well, except from the blasts coming from the bomb shelter door, as Samus tries to open it the only way she knows how. It only succeeds in giving everyone in the shelter really bad headaches.
2 hours remain...
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Topic: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition (Read 34369 times)