Turn 6!
Well, its clearly not a comet. Watever it is, its powerful, and if we treat it like a threat it will treat us like a threat. Oh shii.... are those missiles heading at it?
Erm, has anyone allowed for relatavistic effects (time dilation) in these messages? I assume the incoming visitors are travelling pretty damn fast.
Action: Get NASA to swing as many of our orbital scopes at the "comet" to see what it actually is. If possible, also try and observe the region of space in the direction the Visitors are arriving from so we can get some idea of what to expect.
3+2=5: To answer your question, NASA scientists understand special relativity. The scopes swing at the "comet" and provide live video feed to the monitors in the NASA Mobile Command Center, which has parked in front of Capitol Hill. It appears to be completely made out of energy, with no mass at all. It's also incredibly bright. Judging from its trajectory, it would have had to come straight through Mars, Neptune, and numerous large asteroids to get to Earth at its current speed. What is going on?
Have a joint hush-hush meeting between the top generals ( including the secretaries of the specific branches ) and the scientists of NASA to formulate hypothetical battle plans. The scenario in mind is an alien race twice as powerful as us technologically, but similar to humans in durability and strength.
Run the sim, and show the results.
3+1=4: Without knowing exactly what the aliens are or what they are capable of, much guessing has to be made. The fact that they are capable of sending messages across space that we are capable of decoding and understanding means that they are incredibly advanced in technology. The simulations say we have a 2% chance of winning a war against them with our current level of technology and military power.
Ah, good. But you forgot about the potatoes!
Fire the potatoes!
ALL OF THEM!!!!!
3+2=4+1=5: The spuds are launched into the air! They fly incredibly far and incredibly fast, but fail to exit the atmosphere. A few minutes later, reports come in that flaming potatoes are raining down on Russia. That's probably not helping the situation.
Try again and beam music to the comet! Convert it to liberalism with guitar!
4+1=5:
You try to beam The Greatest Song in the World to the comet, but forget where you saved it. So, you beam this pretty awesome Tribute instead.Why am I such a failure at everything I do. 
Write a statement for the various news networks, telling citizens that there is nothing to be afraid of, and that there DEFINITELY isn't an alien attack going on right now.
5+1=6: "Attention, America. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. We have the situation under control. There are no extra-terrestrials coming to visit our planet. It's just a very bright meteorite that will make a spectacular meteor shower tonight."
The riots stop in the streets as masses of people go to buy telescopes. The stores run out, and more rioting starts. Go figure.
The Fire in the Sky, as several news stations have taken to calling it, continues to grow larger. As it approaches, it begins to... change. The change can't really be described. It just seems different somehow. Anyway, the scientists predict it will touch down sometime within the hour.
2.5 hours remain...
Totally watching this! I might learn something about enemy US culture and politics from this 
Doubtful. Learning something from me? Inconceivable.
Author
Topic: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition (Read 34673 times)