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Author Topic: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition  (Read 34663 times)

borno

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Re: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition
« Reply #30 on: June 03, 2012, 08:37:27 pm »

Broadcast: Listen up aliens and listen up good! This planet is currently taken! Go away now, and conflict will be averted. However, continue what you are doing and we will take it as a direct attack to America, God bless it.
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Mego

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Re: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition (Mixed Messages)
« Reply #31 on: June 03, 2012, 10:38:24 pm »

Turn 2!

Yes. Use broadcasting equipment to transmit offer to party. This will allow us to know each other better. Refreshments will be provided, as a gesture of goodwill.

1+1=2: You grab a beer out of the Congressional fridge and drink it. +1 Inebriety.

Offer the ISS as the venue for this party!

2+1=3: You remember that the ISS is not habitable due to it never being completed. Instead, you broadcast the suggestion that the aliens land on the White House lawn.

Broadcast an offer to the Visitors (Aliens sounds so... harsh) of a choice of territory for them to set up a permanent base on Earth/Moon depending on thier environmental preferences. A base would make it so much easier to have meaningful exchange between our peoples.

2+2=4: Message broadcasted. You're not sure if that was such a good idea.

Gather every single authority on alien knowledge in the U.S.  If there are premiere scholars ( who study aliens ) abroad, try to get them into the country, legally, preferably.  We will need every single scrap of information there is on aliens in general.  We must learn how to fight them ( if the need arises ), and getting people who can and want to study them is a good step.

5+1=6:

Spoiler: The Panel (click to show/hide)

Broadcast begin: "Dear alien scum, state your intentions on the great nation of America or prepare to be fired upon. You have one hour to return a message to us before all preparations are made to destroy you.

3+2=5: The message is broadcast. Something on the console starts blinking.

Broadcast: Listen up aliens and listen up good! This planet is currently taken! Go away now, and conflict will be averted. However, continue what you are doing and we will take it as a direct attack to America, God bless it.

1+1-1=1: You try to send your message, but the monitor displays an error message. Looks like it didn't go through.



4 hours remain...
« Last Edit: June 05, 2012, 09:40:33 pm by Mego »
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NRDL

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Re: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition
« Reply #32 on: June 03, 2012, 11:07:05 pm »

I'm not sure what you just did...it was an over-success, I'm not sure what the penalty here is. 
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GOD DAMN IT NRDL.
NRDL will roll a die and decide how sadistic and insane he's feeling well you do.

Dragor23

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Re: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition
« Reply #33 on: June 04, 2012, 12:05:29 am »

The aliens are pissed off?
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Mego

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Re: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition
« Reply #34 on: June 04, 2012, 12:11:14 am »

I'm not sure what you just did...it was an over-success, I'm not sure what the penalty here is.

Your panel consists of the guy from Ancient Aliens who insists every strange thing is caused by aliens, Ellen Ripley from Aliens, the Tenth Doctor, and Samus Aran.

In other words, a nutcase, one of the most badass female protagonists in film, a woman who, on all but one occasion, uses the "shoot first, ask questions later" policy on any and all alien life that is not clearly an ally, and a goofy, lovable time traveler.

The penalty here is that arguably only one of them is an actual alien expert.

Imakuni

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Re: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition
« Reply #35 on: June 04, 2012, 12:52:48 am »

I'm not sure what you just did...it was an over-success, I'm not sure what the penalty here is.

Your panel consists of the guy from Ancient Aliens who insists every strange thing is caused by aliens, Ellen Ripley from Aliens, the Tenth Doctor, and Samus Aran.

In other words, a nutcase, one of the most badass female protagonists in film, a woman who, on all but one occasion, uses the "shoot first, ask questions later" policy on any and all alien life that is not clearly an ally, and a goofy, lovable time traveler.

The penalty here is that arguably only one of them is an actual alien expert.

But the one that is an actual alien expert is the Doctor, and that makes up for everything.

Now that I have a mild buzz, let's get down to business. Request that the Doctor become head of a newly created Department of Extraterrestrial Interaction.
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Urist McImmigrant: "What?! Hey! What's going onnn---aaaaRRRGGHH!!"
Urist McSurgeon: "Must remove the rot, yes.  This one is unclean, ssssss.  Purity of essence, yesss."
Urist McImmigrant: "Whhaa---aaaARRGHH OW!  MY PANCREAS!  AAAAGGHH!! THAT'S MY - NOOOOO---AAARRGHGHHH!!!"
Urist McImmigrant has suffocated.

borno

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Re: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition
« Reply #36 on: June 04, 2012, 01:02:24 am »

Set up a trap on the white house lawn.
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MonkeyHead

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Re: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition
« Reply #37 on: June 04, 2012, 03:12:27 am »

Take a choice selection of Wikipedia pages (language, culture, history, current affairs, geography and a few unsolved Physics/Maths ideas), and send it to the Visiotrs, asking for an exchange

Noodlerex

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Re: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition
« Reply #38 on: June 04, 2012, 08:32:05 am »

Dammit man! what's that blinking light mean!? I Need answers son!
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Mego

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Re: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition
« Reply #39 on: June 04, 2012, 06:06:37 pm »

Dammit man! what's that blinking light mean!? I Need answers son!

Is that your action or just a question?

Noodlerex

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Re: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition
« Reply #40 on: June 04, 2012, 06:31:24 pm »

It's my action, sorry forgot to bold.
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Scelly9

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Re: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition
« Reply #41 on: June 04, 2012, 09:06:46 pm »

Create housing for the aliens!
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AustralianWinter

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Re: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition
« Reply #42 on: June 05, 2012, 07:39:24 am »

This is hilarious. Posting to watch.
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NRDL

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Re: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition
« Reply #43 on: June 05, 2012, 08:31:07 am »

Consult...Ellen Ripley first.  I can move on to the rest later.  At least she's got ( some ) combat experience ( if this is "Aliens" and not "Alien" Ellen Ripley here ). 
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GOD DAMN IT NRDL.
NRDL will roll a die and decide how sadistic and insane he's feeling well you do.

Mego

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Re: Roll to Dodge: American Politics Edition (Turn 3)
« Reply #44 on: June 05, 2012, 06:52:44 pm »

I've done one roll and I like how this is turning out already. Turn up soon.



Turn 3!

Request that the Doctor become head of a newly created Department of Extraterrestrial Interaction.

3+1=4:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Set up a trap on the white house lawn.

4+1=5: You set up a trap on the White House lawn, wondering why the Secret Service isn't objecting.

Take a choice selection of Wikipedia pages (language, culture, history, current affairs, geography and a few unsolved Physics/Maths ideas), and send it to the Visiotrs, asking for an exchange

5+2=7: You summon The Fonz and have him whack the broadcasting equipment. It starts working, so you broadcast the entire Wikipedia archive to the aliens. Afterwards, the equipment starts smoking a lot, and the President calls you, asking why you sent 27,365,163 files to outer space.

Dammit man! what's that blinking light mean!? I Need answers son!

2-2=0: What pumpkin?

Create housing for the aliens!

2+1=3:

Spoiler: Taa-daa! (click to show/hide)

Consult...Ellen Ripley first.  I can move on to the rest later.  At least she's got ( some ) combat experience ( if this is "Aliens" and not "Alien" Ellen Ripley here ). 

3+1=4:

Spoiler: Response (click to show/hide)



While Noodlerex blabbers on about non-existent pumpkins, someone happens to look up in the sky and notice a brightly-burning comet passing overhead.

A NASA worker looks concernedly at it, and starts fiddling with his iPhone.

3.5 hours remain...
« Last Edit: June 05, 2012, 09:39:02 pm by Mego »
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