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Author Topic: Imposter!  (Read 4843 times)

Edmus

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Imposter!
« on: May 24, 2012, 05:22:14 am »
Tell me what is wrong with this description.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
See it?
What should I do with this elven imposter; the whelp has been getting fat off of our hard earned plump helmets and no-one even noticed he hasn't even got a beard! I am unsure of how to deal with him. Methinks magma? a room made entirely of wood? I am unsure.
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weenog

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Re: Imposter!
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2012, 06:14:04 am »
Put him in the military and see what happens.  He might just be a dwarf suffering a terrible birth defect.  An opportunity to bleed in defense of his home should prove where his loyalties lie.

Maybe get the poor guy a facial toupee if he proves valiant.
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Listen up: making a thing a ‼thing‼ doesn't make it more awesome or extreme.  It simply indicates the thing is on fire.  Get it right or look like a silly poser.

It's useful to keep a ‼torch‼ handy.

Trif

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Re: Imposter!
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2012, 06:20:06 am »
What is this abomination?
I think I'm going to be sick...
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Quote from: Toady One
I wonder if the game has become odd.

Garath

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Re: Imposter!
« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2012, 06:22:23 am »
maybe he just has a regular beard so it doesn't get any comment?

or a birth defect yes. Pity him, for he is beardless, the poor guy. If you confront him he'll probably drink several shots of dwarven rum and cry about his terrible youth, how the other children called him names, all the supposed remedies he tried, his frequent visits to doctors who all promised a cure, but nothing worked. How he looked upon with pity and suspicion, and how he always is passed over for promotions, his work never fetches even half the price it's worth, how the girls make fun of him or simply ignore him, how his father turned him out and disinherited him, his sisters and brothers pretend not to know him, the only one who still speaks to him is his mother, but she is still ashamed of his beardlessness. How his father and mother grew more distant from eachother, both blaming the other for the afliction, both saying that it must run in the family of the other, and how he blamed himself for it.

give him a *troll fur fake beard* and a handkerchief, or assist his suicide, but don't judge him by his looks only.
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.

King DZA

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Re: Imposter!
« Reply #4 on: May 24, 2012, 06:23:59 am »
What did you expect? It should be obvious to you by the fact that he likes the color rose taupe that his fashion sense is lacking.
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Edmus

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Re: Imposter!
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2012, 06:29:01 am »
Maybe I judged him to harshly... perhaps magma is not the answer, but instead he can stand vigil over our volcano and wait for the day of a goblin attack. Then he can prove himself by axe, until then he is not welcome in my fort.
Although... the dwarf-o-palt I built over the volcano beckons...
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peskyninja

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Re: Imposter!
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2012, 06:30:00 am »
Quote from: King DZA on May 24, 2012, 06:23:59 am
What did you expect? It should be obvious to you by the fact that he likes the color rose taupe that his fashion sense is lacking.
Here, take these internets. *Handle internets to the mighty emperor of everything.*
« Last Edit: May 24, 2012, 06:48:20 am by peskyninja »
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Burn the land and boil the sea. You can't take the sky from me

Thou son of a b*tch wilt not ever make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, f**k thy mother.

weenog

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Re: Imposter!
« Reply #7 on: May 24, 2012, 06:42:19 am »
Quote from: Edmus on May 24, 2012, 06:29:01 am
Maybe I judged him to harshly... perhaps magma is not the answer, but instead he can stand vigil over our volcano and wait for the day of a goblin attack. Then he can prove himself by axe, until then he is not welcome in my fort.
Although... the dwarf-o-palt I built over the volcano beckons...

If he is an imposter, Armok will spit him out like an unripe persimmon and then probably set your hair on fire (possibly by spitting him into your hair).  Offer a noble.  Great people make great sacrifices.
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Listen up: making a thing a ‼thing‼ doesn't make it more awesome or extreme.  It simply indicates the thing is on fire.  Get it right or look like a silly poser.

It's useful to keep a ‼torch‼ handy.

Garath

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Re: Imposter!
« Reply #8 on: May 24, 2012, 06:58:02 am »
Quote from: King DZA on May 24, 2012, 06:23:59 am
What did you expect? It should be obvious to you by the fact that he likes the color rose taupe that his fashion sense is lacking.

with all that talk about fashion sense.... are you an elf by any chance? undyed cloth has always been good enough for me
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.

jens03

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Re: Imposter!
« Reply #9 on: May 24, 2012, 07:27:09 am »
He reminds me of Samwell Tarly from "Game of Thrones".
He just have to go in the militia.   :)

http://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Samwell_Tarly
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King DZA

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Re: Imposter!
« Reply #10 on: May 24, 2012, 07:40:12 am »
Quote from: Garath on May 24, 2012, 06:58:02 am
Quote from: King DZA on May 24, 2012, 06:23:59 am
What did you expect? It should be obvious to you by the fact that he likes the color rose taupe that his fashion sense is lacking.

with all that talk about fashion sense.... are you an elf by any chance? undyed cloth has always been good enough for me

If knowing how to be exceptionally stylish, or at the very least having a taste for colors sensible enough not to favor rose taupe makes me an elf, then give my a bow and stick me in a tree.
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Tirion

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Re: Imposter!
« Reply #11 on: May 24, 2012, 07:49:24 am »
Quote from: jens03 on May 24, 2012, 07:27:09 am
He reminds me of Samwell Tarly from "Game of Thrones".
He just have to go in the militia.   :)

http://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Samwell_Tarly

Abandon, start a new fort in the same world. Embark where the north part of the map is something cold and evil. Build the Wall. Wait for him to immigrate and defend it with other outcasts.
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"Fools dig for water, corpses, or gold. The earth's real treasure is far deeper."

krenshala

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Re: Imposter!
« Reply #12 on: May 24, 2012, 08:30:58 am »
I see nobody seems to have noticed the "his skin is slightly wrinkled" yet his age shows as 21 years.  I don't think he's a elf, I think he's a vamp.
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Quote from: Haspen
Quote from: phoenixuk
Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
Kids: "Yaaaay!"

nanomage

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Re: Imposter!
« Reply #13 on: May 24, 2012, 08:38:23 am »
Quote from: krenshala on May 24, 2012, 08:30:58 am
I see nobody seems to have noticed the "his skin is slightly wrinkled" yet his age shows as 21 years.  I don't think he's a elf, I think he's a vamp.
he slept lately, so no.
Actually, i think he just has a beard that is completely non-descript and in all regards average. Having no beard would earn him "His chin/cheeks is clear-shaven" attribute I think.
edit:spelling
« Last Edit: May 24, 2012, 08:40:05 am by nanomage »
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Nyan Thousand

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Re: Imposter!
« Reply #14 on: May 24, 2012, 08:41:43 am »
He's actually a girl, which explains his long hair, his beautiful face, and his fatsuit. His father wanted a boy, you see.
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