Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 [2]

Author Topic: You are a Suburbanite Living the American Dream  (Read 2879 times)

OscarComrade

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: You are a Suburbanite Living the American Dream
« Reply #15 on: May 23, 2012, 10:56:54 pm »
And gloves, or else fingerprints will totally fuck us over.
Logged

Mr. Dwarfinton

  • Bay Watcher
  • This space has been left blank by the user.
    • View Profile
Re: You are a Suburbanite Living the American Dream
« Reply #16 on: May 23, 2012, 10:58:09 pm »
Why do it ourself? Give Jim one hundred thousand dollar to rob a bank for us. He can get a fifth of the loot while we get the rest.
Logged

OscarComrade

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: You are a Suburbanite Living the American Dream
« Reply #17 on: May 23, 2012, 10:59:25 pm »
Jim?
Do you mean Joe?
Logged

Mr. Dwarfinton

  • Bay Watcher
  • This space has been left blank by the user.
    • View Profile
Re: You are a Suburbanite Living the American Dream
« Reply #18 on: May 23, 2012, 11:01:56 pm »
Oops, yes I mean Joe. Unless we know a guy called Jim, in which case get them both to do it.
Logged

Mullet Master

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: You are a Suburbanite Living the American Dream
« Reply #19 on: May 24, 2012, 05:36:34 pm »
As you drive down the road towards work, you realize that you need to stop off at a few places along the way. It's just the company server - it's not like it's going walk off if it doesn't get fixed right now.
The first stop you make is at the sporting goods store. You needed to get ready for your  upcoming ski vacation in December. You select a pair of thin leather gloves (stylish!) and an overpriced wool ski mask.
The next stop is at the gun store. About six months ago, you started watching this show about a fat man who fixes guns for a living, and you were absolutely enthralled by it.  Even though finances have been limited, you put some money down on a custom 45 caliber semiautomatic pistol a month ago, and with another payment it is yours. You walk into the gun store, plunk down your credit card, and finally buy it! And, of course, some ammunition. It'll be fun to go to the range after you get finished at work.

Outside in your minivan, you open the guns case and stare at it. Forty five caliber, custom grips, high visibility red dot sight, custom trigger assembly by Smoking Jacket Firearms... this is going to be great! But you close up the case. There's a server waiting for you...
 
Spoiler: inventory (click to show/hide)
Logged

Super Hyena

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: You are a Suburbanite Living the American Dream
« Reply #20 on: May 24, 2012, 05:38:14 pm »
You grab the pistol.
You fire it at your fingers.
Your fingers go flying off.
Logged

OscarComrade

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: You are a Suburbanite Living the American Dream
« Reply #21 on: May 24, 2012, 06:03:13 pm »
Don't shoot your fingers off. You need them to go to the BANK.
Logged

Mullet Master

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: You are a Suburbanite Living the American Dream
« Reply #22 on: May 25, 2012, 05:59:37 pm »
You park your minivan in front of the Bank of Freeportage. What were you doing here again? You don't have any money in your account right now... your paycheck gets completely deposited to your wife's account and you've already spent your allowance for the month.

Logged

OscarComrade

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: You are a Suburbanite Living the American Dream
« Reply #23 on: May 25, 2012, 06:24:50 pm »
>paychecks deposited to wife's account
>allowance for the month
BLASPHEMY!
You are the MAN of the house, and that means YOU have the power.
Take revenge on your bitch wife.
Logged

Spinal_Taper

  • Bay Watcher
  • The sparkles are because I'm fabulous, of course.
    • View Profile
Re: You are a Suburbanite Living the American Dream
« Reply #24 on: May 25, 2012, 06:45:33 pm »
Abandon your family and purchase a mask.
Acquire weaponry.
Become a vigilante.
Logged

Mullet Master

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: You are a Suburbanite Living the American Dream
« Reply #25 on: May 26, 2012, 10:19:29 pm »
You have decided to forego a normal life, and become a vigilante. Vigilantes don't need to fix servers, or have an allowance! There are many places in town that could use your help.

There is 11th street, which has high gang violence. There is 26th street, which has high car thefts. You also heard about a gas station nearby which was robbed a few days ago, the quickmart #457.


Spoiler: inventory (click to show/hide)
Logged
Pages: 1 [2]
« previous next »