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Author Topic: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.  (Read 47330 times)

Sheb

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #210 on: June 03, 2012, 03:51:51 am »

The classical notion of specie is already fucked up anyway. Nature doesn't like neat categories, and like to mess with our definitions. (See ring species for exemple. Amongst plants the notion of specie is almost meningless. Same with all the organisms that reproduce asexually.)

I wonder what would the interactions between allele be. Would Dwarve be dominant over the recessive Elf? It'd be so messed up. :p
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Eric Blank

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #211 on: June 03, 2012, 04:01:36 am »

I had a very long discussion with one of my geology classmates about speciation and evolution, because she just wasn't eble to figure out quite how it worked, and the fact that I didn't know exactly how it worked either didn't help.

There's a reason I'm studying to be a geologist instead of a biologist. At least it can only get half as confusing as figuring out how complex animals work.
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I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Sheb

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #212 on: June 03, 2012, 04:05:19 am »

Plus, rocks won't bite you, stampede you or give you some weird disease. (Well, except for cinnabar).
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Kassil

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #213 on: June 03, 2012, 05:09:27 am »

The game employs realistic lighting: All areas that are Inside, Underground, Dark are represented by completely black tiles. The only way to "see" what is on each tile is by 'k' looking around, and even then, the text is dark gray on black.

This will come with the addition of pitch rigs to tap trees for flammable sap and both pockets of oil and oil-bearing stone in the deeps. Coal can also be used. All of it can be used to make light sources, all of which gradually burn out and need a steady industry going to keep your fortress lit.
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Wheelbarrows with wheels are inferior to the true wheelbarrow.
you mean elves with loads of stone loaded onto their backs while walking on their hands with dwarves holding their legs to guide them?

Kassil

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #214 on: June 03, 2012, 05:10:19 am »

Plus, rocks won't bite you, stampede you or give you some weird disease. (Well, except for cinnabar).

Any rock that makes your Geiger counter click faster than normal can give you a weird disease. :D
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Wheelbarrows with wheels are inferior to the true wheelbarrow.
you mean elves with loads of stone loaded onto their backs while walking on their hands with dwarves holding their legs to guide them?

Sheb

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #215 on: June 03, 2012, 05:57:47 am »

Well, highly radioactive natural rocks are rare. Even pitchblende is quite safe to handle.
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chevil

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #216 on: June 03, 2012, 11:31:07 am »

Miners who are disoriented for any reason (including both drunkenness and excessive sobriety) lose their picture-perfect sense of direction and spatial awareness, resulting in things like accidentally digging a non-level floor and driving their pick right through your bedroom ceiling, or tunneling off in the wring direction entirely and plowing right into the lake.

That would make miners almost useless because when aren't dwarves drunk? And sober dwarves are even worse. Just immagine the hangover you would get after being drunk for so long.
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Blizzlord

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #217 on: June 03, 2012, 11:38:38 am »

Miners who are disoriented for any reason (including both drunkenness and excessive sobriety) lose their picture-perfect sense of direction and spatial awareness, resulting in things like accidentally digging a non-level floor and driving their pick right through your bedroom ceiling, or tunneling off in the wring direction entirely and plowing right into the lake.

That would make miners almost useless because when aren't dwarves drunk? And sober dwarves are even worse. Just immagine the hangover you would get after being drunk for so long.
Alcohol has the reverse effect on dwarves. A drunk dwarf is just as clear minded as any normal human. It is when they are sober that things go wrong.
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Broseph Stalin

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #218 on: June 03, 2012, 02:35:24 pm »

Alcohol has the reverse effect on dwarves. A drunk dwarf is just as clear minded as any normal human. It is when they are sober that things go wrong.
I subscribe to the theory that dwarves have a genetic hangover that's been building since the dawn of time and the only way to hold it back is by an endless supply of hair of the dog.

TheBeardyMan

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #219 on: June 06, 2012, 10:24:42 am »

Areas of flat land surrounded by mountains should have a chance of being supervolcanoes.
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Riloki

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #220 on: June 06, 2012, 12:00:38 pm »

Areas of flat land surrounded by mountains should have a chance of being supervolcanoes.

I.... I thought the idea... was bad suggestions.

*mentally pictures digging down about five layers before hitting magma which SPEWS UPWARD! in a massive cloud of fire and death, filling an entire swath of the map with lava and killing all the elves and trees and raise the savagery rating on all the biome near those affected*

.... Hidden Super Fun Stuff.
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WealthyRadish

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #221 on: June 06, 2012, 12:17:38 pm »

Breaks, meals, and naps take place realistically with the time scale, meaning that every 5 in-game hours they engage in one of those activities, or the equivalent of about 2 seconds at 100 FPS.
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ccoolleeiiss

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #222 on: June 06, 2012, 02:35:04 pm »

-Military gets upset about having to train for a long time without fighting anything.
-All dwarves get a bad thought whenever a hostile has been on the map more than a season.
-Relatives and friends of military dwarves get upset/worried whenever the dwarf is fighting.
-Mandates to not make things (for a given time period)
-Religious figgures capable of issuing perminant mandates (effecting trading or use of certian goods)
-Dwarves getting a bad thought whenever there is a party they don't attend.
-Dwarves with low confidence and/or social skills refusing to attend parties and then getting a bad thought about it.

While those would be horrible, they would also kinda be reasonable.
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Niyazov

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #223 on: June 06, 2012, 06:45:09 pm »

if dwarves die at 150ish and elves are immortal, what would their offspring be?
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Blizzlord

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #224 on: June 07, 2012, 01:55:58 pm »

They would still be immortal, but since elves can't handle alcohol they eventually die as the booze slowly breaks down and degenerates the body. I'd say about 90 years before the cell walls dissolve and the bones snap due to elvishness.
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Quote from: a Swedish electronics teacher
In Sweden, digital electronics is considered unteachable. That is why you are not being taught about it.
Most attempts of sesquipedalian loquaciousness on the internet will most likely end up in egregious delusions of eloquence. Finagle's law commands it!
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