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Author Topic: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.  (Read 47383 times)

Ross Vernal

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #30 on: May 22, 2012, 01:53:51 pm »

8 ) Giant firebreathing dragon-badgers.

I once gave badgers firebreathing and such, then forgot to mod the raws back. I embarked atop 5 giant badgers. That was a very fast collapse.


On-topic: New profession: Barber. Dorfs begin to slow down after a year when their beards grow too long. Receiving a haircut causes unhappy thoughts. Having ungroomed beards cause negative thoughts.
« Last Edit: May 22, 2012, 02:32:58 pm by Ross Vernal »
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davros

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #31 on: May 22, 2012, 04:33:58 pm »

Hammers are needed for metalsmithing.
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Quote from: Malarauko
I had an above ground garden built in the grounds of my castle and two young dwarves spent time socialising there over the summer and at the end of the summer they were in love. Remember those long summers of your childhood? That first kiss in the gardens while crossbows dwarves shoot goblins above your head? The rain of dead birds as the hunters get to work? Truly Spearhills is a paradise.

MaximumZero

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #32 on: May 22, 2012, 05:14:30 pm »

Every dwarf demands a complete living quarters, including kitchen, dining room, office and one bedroom per single dwarf (including children)/married couple in their family. Within these premises, they require furniture, including cabinets, chairs, beds for each dwarf, cooking tools, and a workshop for each of the dwarves' most skilled profession. Furthermore, if any part of the map is powered, each "housing unit" for the dwarves must contain a wood/glass coffer, and the dwarves spend most of their days sitting and staring aimlessly at said coffer.

Or

Every dwarf is able to make mandates.
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Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting

Loud Whispers

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #33 on: May 22, 2012, 05:16:13 pm »

There is only wagons.

Babylon

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #34 on: May 22, 2012, 05:22:42 pm »

mining takes a realistic amount of time to do.
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MonsteR

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #35 on: May 22, 2012, 05:52:20 pm »

4a) If you reach a population of 200 dwarves before the King arrives, the balance of power shifts and all professions with at least 10 members will form labor unions. These unions will make sure the work is distributed equally ("Oh, you wanted the ☼Legendary☼ Weaponsmith to make that axe? Sorry, it's Competent Kadol's turn"), go On Break twice as often as other dwarves, and will declare a strike if they think their living quarters are too shabby.5) Necromancers and Evil biomes should affect plants as well as animals.
6) Necromancers and Evil biomes should affect the earth itself.

Echoing the sentiments of several before me, these are actually not bad ideas. They could make the game a bit tougher, but they are fairly reasonable and that labor union idea almost seems like something that WOULD be in the game. And, let's be honest, who is playing DF and expecting (or even desiring) that it will get easier.

EDIT: Just thought of an idea. Original dwarves and dwarves from previous migration waves get unhappy thoughts when dwarves from newer waves take over their jobs. They begin protesting and suggesting that you just "build a wall" to prevent further waves.
« Last Edit: May 22, 2012, 06:15:29 pm by MonsteR »
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misko27

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #36 on: May 22, 2012, 07:59:42 pm »

1. Bring back the dwarven economy, as it was. Who didn't like that?
2. Allow dwarves to investigate "unfortunate accidents".
3. Require that farm plots actually get watered regularly.
4. Magmatoc Convection. Your dwarves die when they should have.
5. Give goblins a pick. Why can't they tunnel to your fortress?
6. Require that pets be fed. (including war animals)
7. Get rid of almost omniesiance, let you find out what happens when the dwarves figure it out.
8. Make magma less awesome. May be too difficult to implement, but try your best.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2014, 10:16:25 pm by misko27 »
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

Corai

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #37 on: May 22, 2012, 08:02:25 pm »

1. Bring back the dwarven economy, as it was. Who didn't like that?
2. Allow dwarves to investigate "unfortunate accidents"
3. Require that farm plots actually get watered regularly.
4. Magma Convection. lie your dwarves die when they should have.
5. Give goblins a pick. Why cant they tunnel to your fortress?
6. Require that pets be fed. (including war animals)
7. get rid of almost omniesiance, let you find out what happens when the dwarves figure it out.
8. Make magma less awesome. May be too difficult to implement, but try your best.

These are being added. But the DE is being remastered.
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

misko27

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #38 on: May 22, 2012, 08:34:21 pm »

How can you make magma less awesome!?!
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

rabies47

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #39 on: May 22, 2012, 08:56:57 pm »

1. Bring back the dwarven economy, as it was. Who didn't like that?
2. Allow dwarves to investigate "unfortunate accidents"
3. Require that farm plots actually get watered regularly.
4. Magma Convection. lie your dwarves die when they should have.
5. Give goblins a pick. Why cant they tunnel to your fortress?
6. Require that pets be fed. (including war animals)
7. get rid of almost omniesiance, let you find out what happens when the dwarves figure it out.
8. Make magma less awesome. May be too difficult to implement, but try your best.

These are being added. But the DE is being remastered.

Digging enemies are being added? Ye gods  :D
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ClkWrkJester

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #40 on: May 22, 2012, 09:17:34 pm »

Dwarf Collective. Every single Dwarf now needs to have the EXACT same things as the other dwarves, or else they start the mass executions.
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Carve out a massive pit and construct a copper block tower! Challenge those goblin bastards with your phallus of justice!

Hanslanda

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #41 on: May 22, 2012, 09:34:15 pm »

Uh, mine already do that. Oh, you meant all on their own? :P

Megabeasts and such simply appear, with no pausing, no warning and- actually that'd be cool with me.

Same for sieges. They just appear.

Thieves get replaced by assassins, like an ambush, but they kill ONE dwarf, then bolt. Again, no pause or warning.

Digging, magma-proof, amphibious, obsidian-proof, megabeasts that come in swarms.

Thu'um. Let the copyright war begin.

Elves raid your fortress for food.

Blood gives dwarves a bad thought. And dirt. And being wet, ever, except for baths.

When a tantrum spiral occurs, militia and the hammerer and the CotG all begin martial law, killing all tantrumers.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

Corai

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #42 on: May 22, 2012, 09:36:12 pm »

Uh, mine already do that. Oh, you meant all on their own? :P

Megabeasts and such simply appear, with no pausing, no warning and- actually that'd be cool with me.

Same for sieges. They just appear.

Thieves get replaced by assassins, like an ambush, but they kill ONE dwarf, then bolt. Again, no pause or warning.

Digging, magma-proof, amphibious, obsidian-proof, megabeasts that come in swarms.

Thu'um. Let the copyright war begin.

Elves raid your fortress for food.

Blood gives dwarves a bad thought. And dirt. And being wet, ever, except for baths.

When a tantrum spiral occurs, militia and the hammerer and the CotG all begin martial law, killing all tantrumers.

BAD SUGGESTIONS, BAD ONES! These are good!
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Hanslanda

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #43 on: May 22, 2012, 09:48:45 pm »

Damnit, I'm SORRY! BUT IT WOULD JUST BE SO AWESOME!!

The thu'um thing was serious though, I'd be pissed-ish... At Elder Scrolls.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

Putnam

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #44 on: May 22, 2012, 10:03:10 pm »

Damnit, I'm SORRY! BUT IT WOULD JUST BE SO AWESOME!!

The thu'um thing was serious though, I'd be pissed-ish... At Elder Scrolls.

i'll begin discussion with deathsword right now
« Last Edit: May 22, 2012, 10:49:47 pm by Putnam »
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