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[Sus]

Wot, no open source? -m(^U^)m-
No, wait, I have an even better idea: instead of open source, Toady should totally sell the rights for DF to a big-brand games developer. That way, we'd have V 1.0 in no time! With 3D graphics! \o/

[Darkening Kaos]

Wot, no open source? -m(^U^)m-
No, wait, I have an even better idea: instead of open source, Toady should totally sell the rights for DF to a big-brand games developer. That way, we'd have V 1.0 in no time! With 3D graphics! \o/

And then, every week have to download incremental patches of exponential size - starting at 250 Mb - just to get the game to embark.

Darkening Kaos, CIS, LUH.

[Sus]

...You know what would be cool? Dwarf Fortress MMO, that's what!

Gentlemen, let me present: Word of Dwarf Fortress! Epic FB mount DLC now for sale for the low, low price of $50! 60 days playing time for $ 30. Please note that game versions without the Rise of Urist expansion pack (available from all major retailers for $150) are incompatible with current-version server.

[DarkWolfXV]

Doctor strange moods...
No that would be awesome, imagine making dorf a great killing machine by replacing his bones with adamantine!
Hmm i think i heard that somewhere...

[ObiWorm]

Doctor strange moods...
No that would be awesome, imagine making dorf a great killing machine by replacing his bones with adamantine!
Hmm i think i heard that somewhere...

Sir, that's awesome.

[Burmalay]

Justin Bieber must be reproduced in the game as immoral... sorry, immortal master of horror and hell!

[Iceflame]

Doctor strange moods...
No that would be awesome, imagine making dorf a great killing machine by replacing his bones with adamantine!
Hmm i think i heard that somewhere...

Sir, that's awesome.

As I know my dorfs, my Macelords will probably get an artifical soap Arm, with the engraving of Urist McSomeone putting on his favorite pair of socks.

[Kofthefens]

Doctor strange moods...
No that would be awesome, imagine making dorf a great killing machine by replacing his bones with adamantine!
Hmm i think i heard that somewhere...

Sir, that's awesome.

As I know my dorfs, my Macelords will probably get an artifical soap Arm, with the engraving of Urist McSomeone putting on his favorite pair of socks.

Not your macelord - your cheesemakers.

[Iceflame]

Doctor strange moods...
No that would be awesome, imagine making dorf a great killing machine by replacing his bones with adamantine!
Hmm i think i heard that somewhere...

Sir, that's awesome.

As I know my dorfs, my Macelords will probably get an artifical soap Arm, with the engraving of Urist McSomeone putting on his favorite pair of socks.

Not your macelord - your cheesemakers.

Well - a cheesmaker with an arm made of soap is more useful then a macelord with an arm made of soap.

[Niyazov]

Premium-priced DLC.

[Loud Whispers]

Doctor strange moods...
No that would be awesome, imagine making dorf a great killing machine by replacing his bones with adamantine!
Hmm i think i heard that somewhere...

No. Replacing the bones with adamantine would be terrible. They break easily. Have you not replaced Dwarf bones with adamantine before?!!

1) Cats should reproduce by asexual budding.
2) Dwarves should get bad thoughts for wearing the same clothes that they had on the day before.
3) Standard Dwarf Fortress music replaced with dubstep.
4a) If you reach a population of 200 dwarves before the King arrives, the balance of power shifts and all professions with at least 10 members will form labor unions. These unions will make sure the work is distributed equally ("Oh, you wanted the ☼Legendary☼ Weaponsmith to make that axe? Sorry, it's Competent Kadol's turn"), go On Break twice as often as other dwarves, and will declare a strike if they think their living quarters are too shabby.
4b) If you attain Mountainhome status before reaching 200 dwarves, when the King comes he'll bring lots of new ideas to make the workspace more nimble and dynamic in a changing world market. Get ready for monthy Kaizen events, wherein a Clothier, Fish Cleaner, Miner, Beekeeper, and Thresher will tell the Legendary Stonecrafter that he could do his job much more efficiently if he just color-coded everything in his workshop.
5) Necromancers and Evil biomes should affect plants as well as animals.
6) Necromancers and Evil biomes should affect the earth itself.
7) Elves bring more cloth.

1. More food
2. I have more clothes
3. Mute and replace with old Dorf music
4a. Screw the monarchy. I want unions!
b. But... Dwarves are already colour coded!
5. They should. I do believe an upcoming update is Dwarf Fortresses themselves to affect biomes... And making them evil is one of the proposed effects.
6. See 5.
7. Don't mind, need to make more clothes because of 2.

Try harder

Premium-priced DLC.

1. ?
You win

[sjm9876]

why are doctor fey moods and dragon powered forges in the joke thread!?!
This is Dwarf Fortress guys. Where sanity belongs to the elves.

[Broseph Stalin]

Higher birthrate, births from non-married dwarves, and children have to age a proper thirty six years (Dwarves live twice as long as humans makes sense they grow twice as slow) to do any jobs.

[urick]

Poop.

Urist McDoctorpants admired a fine stool lately...

[snoopychicken]

All engravers require a hammer and chisel