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Author Topic: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.  (Read 47328 times)

SixOfSpades

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Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« on: May 21, 2012, 10:30:17 pm »

Suggestion threads. We've all seen them. We've all commented on them. Some of us have even started one or two. This is a suggestion thread . . . for bad suggestions. Changes that you don't want to see. Not things that will make the game harder--just worse.

1) Cats should reproduce by asexual budding.

2) Dwarves should get bad thoughts for wearing the same clothes that they had on the day before.

3) Standard Dwarf Fortress music replaced with dubstep.

4a) If you reach a population of 200 dwarves before the King arrives, the balance of power shifts and all professions with at least 10 members will form labor unions. These unions will make sure the work is distributed equally ("Oh, you wanted the ☼Legendary☼ Weaponsmith to make that axe? Sorry, it's Competent Kadol's turn"), go On Break twice as often as other dwarves, and will declare a strike if they think their living quarters are too shabby.

4b) If you attain Mountainhome status before reaching 200 dwarves, when the King comes he'll bring lots of new ideas to make the workspace more nimble and dynamic in a changing world market. Get ready for monthy Kaizen events, wherein a Clothier, Fish Cleaner, Miner, Beekeeper, and Thresher will tell the Legendary Stonecrafter that he could do his job much more efficiently if he just color-coded everything in his workshop.

5) Necromancers and Evil biomes should affect plants as well as animals.

6) Necromancers and Evil biomes should affect the earth itself.

7) Elves bring more cloth.
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Dwarf Fortress -- kind of like Minecraft, but for people who hate themselves.

CodexDraco

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2012, 10:33:40 pm »

Poop.
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Finely minced dwarven wine... what?

Corai

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2012, 10:34:23 pm »

8 ) Giant firebreathing dragon-badgers.
« Last Edit: May 21, 2012, 10:38:06 pm by Corai »
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

MaximumZero

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2012, 10:36:52 pm »

3) Standard Dwarf Fortress music replaced with dubstep.
Dorfstep?

My (non) suggestion: Dwarven election cycles, complete with advertising via engravings on the walls, protest rallies and propaganda.
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Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting

Twangykid

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2012, 10:51:07 pm »

"Vote Urist! He promises carp-free rivers for all!"
"No, vote Urist! He mandates chairs!"
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Eoganachta

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #5 on: May 21, 2012, 11:04:44 pm »

"Vote Urist! He promises carp-free rivers for all!"
"No, vote Urist! He mandates chairs!"

"Vote Kol Horsebreath, Will mandate new socks for all fort populace"
"Vote for Urist McMayor, Promises to address the high mortality rate of newborns with mothers in active military service"
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Quote from: Loud Whispers
Giant Cave Spider Wagons. Where are your Gods now Goblins?
This minecart has more kills then every other weapon in the mountainhomes.
Quote from: Broken
every place i go ends covered in vomit
Quote from: Karnewarrior
WHERE DO YOU EVEN GET ENOUGH BABY FOR A PICKAXE? THERE ISN'T ENOUGH BABY.

kingubu

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #6 on: May 21, 2012, 11:08:40 pm »

9) Caged dragons can power magma forges.
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MaximumZero

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #7 on: May 21, 2012, 11:19:25 pm »

9) Caged dragons can power magma forges.
That...would actually be pretty cool.
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Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting

IT 000

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #8 on: May 21, 2012, 11:25:56 pm »

I think we have two types of jokes going on in one thread. What have you done  :P
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***CORROSION v2.14***
<<<More Than Just Zombies>>>
Back from the Dead!

King DZA

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #9 on: May 21, 2012, 11:37:39 pm »

10) 3/4 of all current workshops become DLC that must be purchased for 5.00$ each(or only the low price of 30.00$ if you buy them all together in the special bundle pack).

Fnear

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #10 on: May 21, 2012, 11:45:18 pm »

You must have an active internet connection to Toady's laptop in order to play.
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Finn

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #11 on: May 21, 2012, 11:49:18 pm »

Why is there no !Pun! In this thread?
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I thought 'complained about the draft lately' meant they didn't have a door to their room.

Ascyron

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #12 on: May 22, 2012, 12:44:03 am »

4a) If you reach a population of 200 dwarves before the King arrives, the balance of power shifts and all professions with at least 10 members will form labor unions. These unions will make sure the work is distributed equally ("Oh, you wanted the ☼Legendary☼ Weaponsmith to make that axe? Sorry, it's Competent Kadol's turn"), go On Break twice as often as other dwarves, and will declare a strike if they think their living quarters are too shabby.

I'd play the shit out of this update.
No, really. I would.
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Iceflame

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #13 on: May 22, 2012, 02:20:24 am »

10) 3/4 of all current workshops become DLC that must be purchased for 5.00$ each(or only the low price of 30.00$ if you buy them all together in the special bundle pack).

Masons workshop, Crafterdorfs workshop, Cerpentry and Forges should cost 30$ / each, as they grant a big advantage to the buyer.
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crekit

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #14 on: May 22, 2012, 02:33:52 am »

11) Make it run on I-pod touch.
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<-- Has no idea what just happened.

He likes gold, native gold, trees that are made of gold, and tungsten. He likes cats for their haunting meows. He needs dwarf fortress to get through the working day. When possible, prefers to consume Potatoes, cheese, cow milk. Absolutely detests elves. And spiders.
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