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Author Topic: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.  (Read 47310 times)

Blizzlord

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #195 on: June 02, 2012, 12:10:46 pm »

the game uninstalls itself.
One does not simply uninstall Dwarf Fortress. You never install it in the first place! You cannot undo an undone action.
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Quote from: a Swedish electronics teacher
In Sweden, digital electronics is considered unteachable. That is why you are not being taught about it.
Most attempts of sesquipedalian loquaciousness on the internet will most likely end up in egregious delusions of eloquence. Finagle's law commands it!

Hanslanda

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #196 on: June 02, 2012, 12:24:18 pm »

Its like the computer always had DF and you simply discovered it, and when you 'uninstall' it, you simply are choosing to forget it works.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

The Bard

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #197 on: June 02, 2012, 04:17:08 pm »

A new type of invader that arrives on your map, gathers all the plants, chops down all the trees, mines out all the exposed ore and puts it on a supply train going off the map. They only attack if your dwarves try to make use of those same resources or their mining operations breech your fortress.

They also put up a competing trade depot and if the caravans reach that one first, you don't get to trade that season.

They siege by trying to sealing your fort up and dumping miasma causing garbage and other tantrum inducers in.
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misko27

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #198 on: June 02, 2012, 04:21:34 pm »

A new type of invader that arrives on your map, gathers all the plants, chops down all the trees, mines out all the exposed ore and puts it on a supply train going off the map. They only attack if your dwarves try to make use of those same resources or their mining operations breech your fortress.

They also put up a competing trade depot and if the caravans reach that one first, you don't get to trade that season.

They siege by trying to sealing your fort up and dumping miasma causing garbage and other tantrum inducers in.
That sounds like fun, but It couldn't possibly effect isolationist forts. The ability of my dwarves to destroy things would be put to good use against such a enemy.
« Last Edit: March 01, 2014, 04:42:39 pm by misko27 »
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

ZzarkLinux

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #199 on: June 02, 2012, 04:39:15 pm »

A new type of invader that arrives on your map, gathers all the plants, chops down all the trees, mines out all the exposed ore and puts it on a supply train going off the map. They only attack if your dwarves try to make use of those same resources

That would certainly add an element of realism to the game.
It's an element of reality that I wish to ignore though  :-X
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WriterX

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #200 on: June 02, 2012, 05:28:25 pm »

What DF needs are more dog and cat breeds. Which Dwarf Noble wouldn't want a poodle for a pet? How about a Welsh Corgi for the Hammerlords to ride on? Or... an English Bulldog, to act as the Dwarven King?

I vote... aye!
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Dr. Melon

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #201 on: June 02, 2012, 05:39:49 pm »


4a) If you reach a population of 200 dwarves before the King arrives, the balance of power shifts and all professions with at least 10 members will form labor unions. These unions will make sure the work is distributed equally ("Oh, you wanted the ☼Legendary☼ Weaponsmith to make that axe? Sorry, it's Competent Kadol's turn"), go On Break twice as often as other dwarves, and will declare a strike if they think their living quarters are too shabby.


This actually sounds legitimately interesting.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #202 on: June 02, 2012, 06:39:12 pm »

Why did I read that as "Egyption ovary?"

Urist McFreud has some interesting theories about that sort of thing.
I've made an appointment for you to see him.

I made an appointment with my bed and cereal bowl. Problem solved it seems. :P

I blame lack of sleep and the fact he capitalized "eruption".
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

SixOfSpades

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #203 on: June 02, 2012, 11:05:36 pm »

Miners who are disoriented for any reason (including both drunkenness and excessive sobriety) lose their picture-perfect sense of direction and spatial awareness, resulting in things like accidentally digging a non-level floor and driving their pick right through your bedroom ceiling, or tunneling off in the wring direction entirely and plowing right into the lake.

There are no dwarf women, their children simply spring out of holes in the ground. Each muddied soil tile has a 1% chance to generate a dwarf baby every 1st of Hematite.

The game employs realistic lighting: All areas that are Inside, Underground, Dark are represented by completely black tiles. The only way to "see" what is on each tile is by 'k' looking around, and even then, the text is dark gray on black.
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Dwarf Fortress -- kind of like Minecraft, but for people who hate themselves.

Aspgren

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #204 on: June 03, 2012, 01:27:45 am »

1.Dwarves, elves, goblins and humans being able to breed with eachother and create mixed races.

2.Dwarves giving birth outside of wedlock.

Sorry did you want dwarf fortress? It's human fortress now! Oh wait. The elven merchants impregnated some and the kobold siege impregnated some more.

 You are now playing half-elf, half-goblin fortress and you will LIKE IT!
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The crossbow squad, 'The Bolts of Fleeing' wouldn't even show up.
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Blizzlord

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #205 on: June 03, 2012, 03:08:51 am »

1.Dwarves, elves, goblins and humans being able to breed with eachother and create mixed races.

2.Dwarves giving birth outside of wedlock.

Sorry did you want dwarf fortress? It's human fortress now! Oh wait. The elven merchants impregnated some and the kobold siege impregnated some more.

 You are now playing half-elf, half-goblin fortress and you will LIKE IT!
If these offspring had the ability to reproduce then science would define dwarves, goblins, humans and elves as the same race! I could not allow this to be true! >:(
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Quote from: a Swedish electronics teacher
In Sweden, digital electronics is considered unteachable. That is why you are not being taught about it.
Most attempts of sesquipedalian loquaciousness on the internet will most likely end up in egregious delusions of eloquence. Finagle's law commands it!

Dorfimedes

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #206 on: June 03, 2012, 03:14:35 am »

Man don't even pretend that hybrid races wouldn't be rad as fuck. Yeah, maybe it's a little cliche but it's a damn interesting one, there's a lot of things you can do with it! I mean, we already have mendelian genetics!
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"It seems that perfection is reached not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." -Someone who has never played DF.

The Human Baby has died in the heat.

Blizzlord

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #207 on: June 03, 2012, 03:17:48 am »

I agree on that it would be cool, but if they could reproduce then the scientific laws on races would define them all as the same.
And elves being a subrace of dwarves in unacceptable!
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Quote from: a Swedish electronics teacher
In Sweden, digital electronics is considered unteachable. That is why you are not being taught about it.
Most attempts of sesquipedalian loquaciousness on the internet will most likely end up in egregious delusions of eloquence. Finagle's law commands it!

Dorfimedes

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #208 on: June 03, 2012, 03:46:24 am »

I agree on that it would be cool, but if they could reproduce then the scientific laws on races would define them all as the same.
And elves being a subrace of dwarves in unacceptable!
This is Dwarf Fortress. Science can kindly fuck right off, unless it's !!Science!!

:P
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"It seems that perfection is reached not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." -Someone who has never played DF.

The Human Baby has died in the heat.

Dorfimedes

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Re: Looks like it's time for another joke thread.
« Reply #209 on: June 03, 2012, 03:47:09 am »

oh god why does your avatar change

I thought that was Loud Whispers' deal
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"It seems that perfection is reached not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." -Someone who has never played DF.

The Human Baby has died in the heat.
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