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[peskyninja]

Poe's law

[davros]

DOWN WITH THE CAPITALIST SCOURGE! ALL HAIL THE GENDER NEUTRAL PARENT LAND!

[WealthyRadish]

Dwarf advertisements would be hilarious.

Do you feel your drawbridge just isn't enough to 'satisfy' your fort's needs anymore? Are you embarrassed to lower it, in fear of ridicule from goblins/coworkers? Is there embarrassingly little difference when expanding and retracting it?

If you answered 'Urist' to any of these questions, you may be in need of McStenze©! This revolutionary herbal supplement is guaranteed to beef up your bridges, or your +granite earrings+ back! Your bridge will be the talk of the civilization for centuries to come, and the subject of numerous statues and engravings!

[DwarfMeister]

Someone please make a spam bot mod, that turns everything in DF into derails and product placements.

Can't we just modify the RAWS, so that items are called by different names? Or does it not work like that?

[DwarfMeister]

I'd love to see what kind of ads would be put in, using the ad placement engines used in other media. Slaughtering a kitten? Probably an ASPCA ad. Designating ambushed corpses to be forbidden? Ernie's Local Mortuary Services.

As funny as it would be to see this (though it already happens on the wiki), it'd also be obnoxious and pointless, as stated previously.

It would also slow down the game.

[DwarfMeister]

If the economy comes back and doesn't suck, it might be interesting to see in-game advertisements of other in-game elements, at least.  Perceptions of value could be influenced by who made the object or where it was made... an additional layer of preferences, but a dynamic one that changes based on what advertising a dwarf was exposed to, and when.

You should stick this in the Idea section.

[DwarfMeister]

*Sips tea gingerly* This thread entertains me in the most debase of ways.

Derail?

Derail.

What kind of ads would appear in DF if placed?  What could possibly appeal to a DF player during the average course of gameplay to make them think "You know, this product looks like something I'd like."  Acres of Arizona land for sale?  Scuba gear?  Nuclear fallout shelter installation?  Just tell me... what ads would be relevant?

I LOL'ed at this...

[DwarfMeister]

Toady and Threetoe are actually Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer, having fun getting back to their classic computer programming roots.

They only take donations as a cover to keep anyone from suspecting this.

Ahhhh... I see...

[Starver]

BTW, if it isn't totally obvious from the way I put that example...

No.  Just no.

(Poetically, I was part way through converting a famous sonnet[1], but I think the above is the better answer, and I prefer the Shakespearean sonnet form, anyway...)


[1]

Spoiler: All I got through (click to show/hide)

  How do I hate this? Let me count the ways.
  I hate this to the depth and breadth and height
  My gut can retch, when feeling it's in sight
  For the ends of playing and download race.
  I hate this to the level of every day's
  Most geeky need, by Sun and blinking light.
  I hate this freely, as eight bits are byte.
  I hate this purely, on Dell or on Crays.
  I hate this with the coding put to use
  In my old briefs, [...]

[DwarfMeister]

Dwarf advertisements would be hilarious.

Do you feel your drawbridge just isn't enough to 'satisfy' your fort's needs anymore? Are you embarrassed to lower it, in fear of ridicule from goblins/coworkers? Is there embarrassingly little difference when expanding and retracting it?

If you answered 'Urist' to any of these questions, you may be in need of McStenze©! This revolutionary herbal supplement is guaranteed to beef up your bridges, or your +granite earrings+ back! Your bridge will be the talk of the civilization for centuries to come, and the subject of numerous statues and engravings!

NICE!!!

[weenog]

If the economy comes back and doesn't suck, it might be interesting to see in-game advertisements of other in-game elements, at least.  Perceptions of value could be influenced by who made the object or where it was made... an additional layer of preferences, but a dynamic one that changes based on what advertising a dwarf was exposed to, and when.

You should stick this in the Idea section.

You can if you like it, I make no exclusive claims on the idea.  There are other things I'd rather see first which I might suggest at some point.

[DwarfMeister]

A few DF ad examples-

When- During a goblin siege...

Narrator: There a MANY full time soldiers protecting our land...
Narrator: But, it's everyday citizens that make our Freedoms possible...
Narrator: What are you waiting for?
Narrator: Sign up for the Army Reserve today!!!

When- During a cave-in...

Guy 1 : Has you home collapsed, causing serious injury, or even DEATH to your loved ones?
Guy 1: At Johnson and Joseph, we are COMMITED to winning your case.
Guy 2: And if we lose, you don't have to pay us a cent.
Guy 1 and 2: And that's a GUARANTEE!!!

When- While dwarf child is eating an Easy Meal...

Clown: Hey kids!!! Are you tired of eating something that tastes like it came out of the ground?
Kids: YEAH!!!
Clown: Well... Do I have the thing for you!!!
Kids: YAY!!!
Clown: Okay kids!!! Just come over to my unmarked van...
Narrator: Online predators are a MAJOR threat to our children...
Guy in a cop uniform: And that's why I protect my kids with the Pedo-Stopper Internet Security System!!! 

[Teneb]

When- While dwarf child is eating an Easy Meal...

Clown: Hey kids!!! Are you tired of eating something that tastes like it came out of the ground?
Kids: YEAH!!!
Clown: Well... Do I have the thing for you!!!
Kids: YAY!!!
Clown: Okay kids!!! Just come over to my unmarked van...
Narrator: Online predators are a MAJOR threat to our children...
Guy in a cop uniform: And that's why I protect my kids with the Pedo-Stopper Internet Security System!!!

I'm trying my best not to imagine a demon '&' taking kids into a candy spire van. It seems I am failing

[Hanslanda]

You are not alone Deathsword. I'm picturing the Pedo-Stopper as ten dwarves in full candy with assorted candy or steel weapons surrounding the kid.  And then the player realizes that kids are useless in this game, and unsquads them back to normal duties so the ampersand can take a freeloader off his/her/it/their hands.

[DwarfMeister]

You are not alone Deathsword. I'm picturing the Pedo-Stopper as ten dwarves in full candy with assorted candy or steel weapons surrounding the kid.  And then the player realizes that kids are useless in this game, and unsquads them back to normal duties so the ampersand can take a freeloader off his/her/it/their hands.

SPOILER ALERT!!!
Narrator: Tired of your rowdy kids?
Narrator: Need someone to take them off your hands for you?
Narrator: The dark forces of Hell Aunt Susie's Child Care Services is here to eat your children help!!!
Narrator: What are you waiting for? Breach Hell, so we can escape into your pathetic world!!! Call now!!!