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It was fun for a long time but towards the end it just started to drag

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Total Members Voted: 28

[wierd]

[....yes, but I had this plan play out in my head before even finishing my reading of Hugo's hypothetical challenge....]

[Here is my prediction of how the scenario would play out:]

[While shopping late at night on a Wednesday night (why else would there only be 19 other shoppers?), some unfathomable force decides it is bored, and initiates the challenge. The lights are shut off, the windows magically darken and turn deep opaque black, and utters the challenge. People at first huddle together, as some of the people activate their cellphones and use them to make light. Shortly afterward, people will attempt doors and windows. The diabolical challenger will probably laugh malevolently. This induces the first bout of panic. Some will crouch on the ground and weep, while others will yell at the disembodied voice of the malevolent entity responsible. About 2 minutes later, the reality of the situation will have dawned on the first of those harboring psychopathic tendencies, some of which will state the obvious: the only way out is to kill everyone else. This will result in more panic. It is during this second panic, that the fire should be deployed. Given my usual shopping habits when buying toys, I will likely already been in the DIY child craft/model car/toy train section of the store, and will have already begun collecting the afore mentioned items.]

[That's how I see it panning out anyway. Very few people would have the idea to leave the shopping portion of the store, and enter the employee only shipping dock section where fire resistant utilitarian architecture is most prevalent. ...]

[Reudh]

[So where was the last bit of the story? What I remember before I left:

We all went 'Yeah we have secrets and here they are'.
Wierd went to the elves to deal with their rat problem.

Can't remember anymore.]

[WillowLuman]

[Why would people stampede if not behaving as a group? And why wouldn't some of the other combatants know how to escape a fire in such a way? Likely as not, you'd have some competition for your hidey-hole, and/or have to take out the survivors after the blaze. Additionally, people who tried the emergency exit at the onset might not be fooled if they come back and see the bat there.

Still, igniting most of the store would probably take out many of your opponents.]

Wrote out the text of a post, will type it in probably either late tonight or tomorrow night. First I'll be taking a plane to St. Louis, Missouri.

[Oliolli]

[Am I the only one with 'dwarven' levels of malevolence in their psyche?]

No, you're just the only one who actually has the imagination and intelligence required to make a plan of that magnitude.

I'm not really sure what could be found in a Toys R Us, so I'd have a hard time coming up with a plan of any sort.

...sharp bits of metal of any sort, baseball bats, string... Could make something nasty with those.

[Eric Blank]

[Am I the only one with 'dwarven' levels of malevolence in their psyche?]

No, you're just the only one who actually has the imagination and intelligence required to make a plan of that magnitude.

I'm not really sure what could be found in a Toys R Us, so I'd have a hard time coming up with a plan of any sort.

...sharp bits of metal of any sort, baseball bats, string... Could make something nasty with those.

Use some sort of implement to tear at the edges of those lovely shelves they have, such that they stick out at 90 degree angles. Then use a tripwire setup involving string and heavy counterweights to pull the now-pointy cabinets down on anyone trying to walk down the isle. Then club the survivors to death.

[wierd]

[This is Toys-R-Us we are talking about here. Not walmart. This is "america's best toystore". You will find all kinds of things in a Toys R Us. Model rocket engines and igniter squib wires, the thurnkeys and batteries to use them, flamable paints and adhesives in the plastic miniature and toy train sections, toxic cleaning supplies in the janitorial closets, all kinds of fun stuff! Bicycles, skateboards, trampolines, swimming pool toys (and possibly pool chemicals! Whee!) The potential is mind boggling if you know what you are doing. You did know that the perchlorate salt tablets sold to kill algea and chlorinate swiming pools is a powerful oxidizing agent and chemical combustion accellerant, right? Not many people do, nor that dropping it in strong sulfuric acid will produce a deadly chlorine gas cloud that makes pouring amonia and bleach together look tame...]

[Basically, yeah. My dad taught all of us how to be little terrors if we needed to be. License to run amok in a major toystore like that has unlimited potential.]

[Oh yes... if you can get access to the loading docks, you are likely to find propane powered forklifts and other oh so much fun things as strapping wire, boards with nails in them, and other delights to tickle your fancy. Still technically inside the building!]

[WillowLuman]

[And if you're feeling like more conventional means, there are golf clubs, baseball bats, and of course knocking over the shelves (if not bolted to the floor) would be liable to crush someone. Probably the first wave of deaths would  occur from someone tipping over the shelves.

Does Toys R Us sell darts? Actual, non-nerf darts?]

[Eric Blank]

Almost certainly. What child doesn't play with nice, pointy steel darts?

[Oliolli]

Scuba equipment? Might save me from Wierd's fumes-created-by-burning-plastic-toys.

But... damn, only five items you can use 

[wierd]

Sadly, it appears that the "CHILDREN MUST BE KEPT SAFE! OMGWTFBBQ!" crowd have long ago infiltrated ToysRUs.

They only sell the crappy foam and magnet based darts in the brick and mortar stores. Their official website only has TWO actual dartboard sets, of which this is the better one, and they are only sold through the online store.

Cant let kids know that they COULD be getting throwable metal spikes, now can we?

As a consolation for the vicious...  I present, Metal ball and jacks kit, Metal pogostick, hockey stick, Electric dirtbike, and the ever popular baseball bat

(*all available IN STORES)

For the sadistic, there's always one of these, and some of this from the janitor's closet.

The metal ball jacks would make a GREAT addition to the spread lego slip-and-trip setup. It's a shame that the truly classic version (with the really SHARP points!) is only available online.

Sorry Oliolli.... Doesnt look like ToysRUs carries scuba gear. You'll have to suffocate with the others, or use the wet beachtowel trick too.

[Oliolli]

Damn, the scuba gear was my response to any gas attacks you could've cooked up.

Well, time to figure out plan B.

Oh, and the hydrochloric acid is (according to my chemistry teacher) only dangerous if you sweat while it's on your skin. Without a base, acid does nothing.

[wierd]

Not if it gets in your eyes.

(also, its industrial strength, not commercial grade. different beasts. industrial janitorial is usually around 12 to 30%. Enough to easily etch metal, and good enough to make toxic gas if you want.)

[Oliolli]

Damn lack of scuba gear, it'd come with a mask as well...

[WillowLuman]

[Snorkel set would have goggles.]

Incidentally, this campus I am visiting in St. Louis is very dwarfy. Since at some point they passed a rule that no buildings may be taller than the cathedral, many of them go underground. Including the library, which goes down 2 stories for books and 1 off-limits one for maintenance.

Oh. and the bookshelves move.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

[Snorkel set would have goggles.]

Incidentally, this campus I am visiting in St. Louis is very dwarfy. Since at some point they passed a rule that no buildings may be taller than the cathedral, many of them go underground. Including the library, which goes down 2 stories for books and 1 off-limits one for maintenance.

Oh. and the bookshelves move.

You must tell me what college this is.