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Did you have fun with this?

Yes
- 4 (14.3%)
No
- 1 (3.6%)
It was fun for a long time but towards the end it just started to drag
- 6 (21.4%)
I wish I could have joined in.
- 17 (60.7%)

Total Members Voted: 28


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Author Topic: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued... FULL DISCLOSURE  (Read 266270 times)

wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3795 on: August 07, 2012, 03:23:08 pm »

[I want eric to handle the conversation with weird. I always get his character wrong. Weird is not looking for confrontation. He just wants to show off the brick, the adamantine haul, and ask if he can get wood for the next load of bricks to fire.]
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Oliolli

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3796 on: August 07, 2012, 03:53:46 pm »

Oliolli remained in the back of the tank for a time. Trying to sort out all he had learned recently wasn't an easy task. A dalek. This... manipulating entity. The intruder. Boatmurdered's folks. A butterfly in door controls. Arguments with the other self had always been a good method for figuring things out.

No. I refuse to believe it.
If you have a better idea, feel free to throw it out.
I... you have a point. However unlikely it may be. My guess is just a new, unknown player somewhere.
Have we not had enough of those?
Yeah, like that's going to prevent one from popping up. Get real.
You know that's not my strong suit.
I know... *sigh* What about the other villains around? Would be nice to know what's going on with them as well.
Yeah... just that there's no way of finding out. Clockwork Hugo is... somewhere. Oliolli is MIA. Those creepy spies are still probably lurking around the fort. And whoever that intruder at the tower was...
You didn't look at the charred corpse very close, did you?
Me? You'd expect me to pay close attention to a charred corpse? That's your job. An be-
An oliolli.
WHAT?
I think. It was kinda hard to tell, what with the fact that it was nearly ash. But if I'd have to guess, an oliolli. Too large for a dwarf, too stocky for an elf, too elegant for a human or goblin, based on what we heard from Giz. Kobolds are simply out of the question. Size and shape match.
That's... Ouch. So we now have two rogue oliollis after us?
Given the statistics on amounts of oliollis who tend to go rogue, I wouldn't be surprised. Could also be Oliolli, but I don't like those implications...
Why is it that oliollis have a tendency to go rogue?
No idea...


Oliolli sat in the back of the tank until wierd came to evict him for the night.
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WillowLuman

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3797 on: August 07, 2012, 05:27:38 pm »

[What happens when reality-bending suggestion is pushed too far. But this explains how we got Migrants in the first week, despite it being a 2-month voyage across the ocean. They were sent before we got here, completing their trip a few days after we dug out the main base with those mining claws.]

The Dwarf King looked upon his court from his Hydra-bone throne. "You heard correctly, Duke Bomrek nu Lamestun."

"But.. But my ălul, why? Have we not sent enough already? Surely there can be no reason to send anymore?" The Duke looked into the King's eyes. They seemed surprised, but there was also that hint of the... odd look that he'd seen in them for the past 15 years.

Then the look flared to full, the King's eyes staring, madly, dreamily, and almost vacantly ahead. "We must send more. More every season. You will trust the judgement of your ălul."

One of the others, the Duchess Dolil of Aransazir, interjected. She had been talking of this matter with Bomrek. The whole court had, in whispers. "Respectfully, ălul Dakost, I would like to point out the history of the Twelfth Bay. When we started that colony," she paused there. None of them actually remembered how it had got started. Surveys of the area, discussions in the Court, the decision or reason for settling there, all escaped her mind. Perhaps some expedition had just got stranded there and set up shelter? They'd heard of settlements starting like that before. "13 years ago, well, it was a little remote. Near some elf forest, I believe. The subjects began setting off their to make a name for themselves, and shortly, believing the place had some potential, we started sending people to build it up even more. We all heard, however, that those first founders were strange."

Duke Bomrek nodded. "The rumor was that most of them were human, even, and even the dwarves among them were somewhat... odd. We learned these rumors were true in good time." He looked to Dolil, who gave him a look that said plainly that she did not want to be interrupted.

"As you no doubt remember, o ălul, very odd things indeed began to happen at the end of the third year. The colony began to do poorer with the exports, though we made no inquiry about this as by this time the leadership there had made themselves rather... secluded. The decision at the time being that they were a band of wizards, we let them fall behind on the taxes. Then, suddenly, the whole place was gone. Traders reported that all they found was a great, blackened pit where the mountain once stood. Stories spread of debris raining from the sky for a whole week. We didn't hear anything more about it for ten years..."

The king looked in her direction, though not at her. "Yes, and it was just recently that I found them again! The colony recovered, you see, and we must make all our cities mighty!"

She looked down, nervously. "My ălul, even before the... shocking disappearance of an entire settlement, the Twelfth Bay was getting to be rather... counter-productive. What with stories of kobolds fighting necromancers, and extensive dealings with some kind of dragons. We had all been thinking it somewhat of a lost cause. Now, it has reappeared, in an entirely different location that is even more remote. We haven't even heard back from that boatload of settlers that was sent out there yet, so we don't know if there even is a settlement on the other side of the sea. Excuse me, but it seems like a pointless waste of resources and a squandering of the lives of good laborers at this point!"

"Mind your tone, Duchess."

"ălul, King Dakost, your subjects murmur of the Twelfth Bay, they believe that it is an accursed place! It causes them no small unhappiness when they are told the place still exists and has demand for them to be sent there."

"Silence! I will hear no more objections! The Twelfth Bay needs more migrants!"

Duke Bomrek sighed. They had all been discussing it, in secret, fervently hoping that it would not come to this. King Dakost had seemed to be losing his grip as he reached his 11th decade. For years, now, he seemed to grow blind and deaf to the needs of his kingdom, and so the nation had been slipping. Now, though, he knew there was no other choice. The Plan would have to go forward. Regretfully, he reached into the inside of his cave spider silk coat. Seeing this, the rest of the court reached into their garments.

The king seemed not to notice for a moment. Then, he stood up. "What... those are... You've... Urists, urists in my court! What is the meaning of this!?"

Bomrek rose. "The end."

"Why, this is violence!" He looked around the room. Everyone was standing, urists drawn. Even... "You too, Durad?"

General Durad twirled his silver-inlaid blade. "I am sorry, ălul."



The next day, it was announced that King Dakost Castlewaters had abdicated the throne and retreated to a private fortress, believing he had grown too weary to rule. Having no heirs, he appointed Duke Bomrek as his successor, and so King Bomrek was to be crowned that week.

In the court, where the old banners had been taken down, he spoke fervently with the nobles. "Send a bird out to that caravan boat that set sail two days ago. Attach two letters to this bird. The first needs to tell them to deliver the second to the members of the Twelfth Bay, if they're out there. In the second letter, put the news of my succession, and let them know that any further support from the capitol is henceforth terminated. If you ask me, they aren't out there and all died 10 years ago, but it makes absolutely no difference if they somehow survived. In fact, as far as we're concerned, they can be their own damned kingdom."



In a dark room, lit only by the wall of screens, a figure watched proceedings. The forumites would not know of the minor revolution for 2 months yet. It did not matter, though. There would still be migrants. Those who found, one day, the sudden inspiration to leave their boring old life, or felt that there was nothing for them in their ancestral mountain hall. Perhaps not as many from the original kingdom the forumites were attached to, and perhaps not any for a long time, but eventually, from somewhere, they would get more migrants. He couldn't really stop it, though why bother? He could ensure they were alone in the end, as he had before, and in the meantime, migrants made things more interesting.
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wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3798 on: August 07, 2012, 06:06:44 pm »

[YAY! Regicide!   I am still waiting for Eric to script the conversation with joykill. Amusingly, the promise to never send a fucking baron to our hamlet is welcome news though! Although, I think mutually terrorizing a noble would bring Eric and Joykill closer together in a more unified front. Nothing brings a smile to my face like watching a pompous ass throw a total hissfit and blow a gasket. Being an ardent believer in pure reason and sobering rationality, the idea of anyone being "entitled" requires swift and profound corrective action. DF nobles would find me even more unbearable than Eric does. :D psychological torture is my speciality.]

[Still, joykill's reaction to the letter stating the refusal of all aid and the ostracism from the kingdom would be met with "thank god!". He might even send a "tribute" package of assorted... "scepters"..... with a letter informing the new regent that they are for him to pleasure himself with, as a symbolic token of our esteemed appreciation for all his efforts. Be sure to include a botte of scented rocknut oil, and some assless chaps. Basically, send him a sampler of "novelty shop" products, and a tounge and cheek letter to go fuck himself. Repeatedly. See how long it is before he sends us a shipment of quality steel products. :D]


*edit*

[I've got it!  In addition to the "scepters", "for the pleasure of his lordship, king of the mountainhall", a selection of "soothing ointments" and "exotic clothing", we need to include a radical display of wealth that he is missing out on. Possibly through the choice in material construction of such offensive products. Think "artifact grade" solid diamond and adamantine "scepters", and sex-organ themed weapons and armor of unparalleled craftmanship. Perhaps some of the moe "exotic" potions from Thari's formulary too. The sort of things that are too fabulous to destroy or refuse, but too obscene to display or accept. Oh! A manamaid porno mag! YES! Only the finest for his majesty!  I mean, all out, out of control offensiveness, wrapped in flowery flatteries and courtly rhetoric. It needs to be as offensive as possible.]

[Wait----isn't this guy replacing the perverted old king who had a thing for kobolds? I think Corai might have some novel suggestions for the "tribute" package.]

[I am thinking a letter a bit like this:]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: August 07, 2012, 07:21:10 pm by wierd »
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Eric Blank

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3799 on: August 07, 2012, 07:46:54 pm »

[Bwahahaha! The poor bastard! I wouldn't be surprised if this Dolil makes off with his "gifts" anyway. Although, you may have to produce most or all of those items yourself. You think we keep steel shields with massive embossed renditions of cunts, or oddly phallic weaponry just lying around?]

[And apparently you've taken over the positions of scribe! Well, since they're dead, somebody would eventually have to take it. Nice that you volunteered; Here's the paperwork! *que avalanche*]

[Sorry I wasn't available to script; i was scripting a quest for Skyrim. Yay tutorials!]
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wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3800 on: August 07, 2012, 07:49:43 pm »

[If allowed to work, he would take GREAT pleasure in producing said items for his majesty. Although the looks he would get making them would surely cause all sorts of sordid rumors.]
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WillowLuman

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3801 on: August 07, 2012, 08:06:36 pm »

[O'course, we'd have to get the letter first. And if Thari's old apprentice intercepted the ship, he'd know about us and quickly put two and two together to figure out his old master is dead. Then again, it's just one ship. not likely to attract attention.]
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Reudh

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3802 on: August 07, 2012, 08:09:22 pm »

[Reudh would probably be told to make them as he's the most skilled mason in the fort. He'd do so sullenly. "Is this what my life has come down to? Making stone phalluses for a perverted old king?"]

wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3803 on: August 07, 2012, 08:25:58 pm »

Stone phalli? Don't be goash.

(*)(*)Steel Codpiece(*)(*)

This is a masterfully made steel codpiece, created by Lolot McArmorer
On the item is a masterful image of Sheela-Na-gig in adamantine by weird joykill. Sheela-Na-gig is exposing her genitals.
On the item is an image of King Bomrek in gold. King Bomrek is using his scepters.
On the item are hanging bands of cat leather.

(*)(*)Steel Breastplate(*)(*)

This is a masterfully made steel breastplate, created by Lolot McArmoror
On the item are masterfully rendered images of very large breasts in silver by weird joykill. The breasts are perky.
The item is studded in gold and copper.
On the item is a masterfully rendered image of a heart in heart-cut rubies by weird joykill. The heart is covering the navel.

(*)(*)Steel Warhammer(*)(*)

This is a masterfully made steel warhammer, created by Ducim McWeaponsmith
The item has been masterfully sculpted into the shape of a giant phallus and pair of stones by weird joykill.
On the item is an image of king Bomrek and a kobold in native aluminum. King Bomrek is making a submissive pose. The Kobold is weilding a "spear". The image relates to the encounter between king bomrek and the kobold nsghhfltlrpt at the eastern mountain hall in the late summer of year xxx.
The item menaces with spikes of fluffy wambler.

« Last Edit: August 07, 2012, 08:32:31 pm by wierd »
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wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3804 on: August 07, 2012, 08:47:40 pm »

[I am almost tempted to make these as NIF models for Oblivion. All I really need are the blinn and phong shaders and some simple materials. I can sculpt all the details into the geometry itself. Would make the game laggy, but you aren't really supposed to use these comic relief items.]
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WillowLuman

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3805 on: August 07, 2012, 09:02:05 pm »

[Even better: our reply and brazen offerings could get stolen by pirates, then the items and legends about them circulate for all time.]

[Best: He receives them and does not get the joke, proceeding to wield the hammer in battle and slay many foes for the glory of the Mountainhome. All will speak of the legendary Bomrek Cockhammer!]
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Reudh

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3806 on: August 07, 2012, 09:02:56 pm »

[It's not as if the Oblivion community would find a phallic warhammer that out of place anyway... given half the stuff you find on TESNexus.]

Gizogin

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3807 on: August 07, 2012, 09:05:46 pm »

[What.]

[I have no idea what I just read.  I think my brain is trying to leap out through my ears to avoid having to comprehend the previous few posts.  Anyway, it'll be two months in-story before we have to contemplate such crimes against all that is decent, and I say we bask in the little time we have left.]

Gizo X returned to the tank, where Oliolli was still sitting.  They exchanged greetings as X grabbed a few sensors and various pieces of equipment from the cargo bay.  With his arms full, he walked over to a secluded part of the grounds and continued setting up his "vital experiment."  He'd had to lie about its exact purpose to Gizogin and Lana, a fact which he was not happy about, but it was imperative that they, and Lana especially, had no idea what he was doing. 

He set down the sensors at various points around the edge of the area and connected them to a large, complicated display in the center.  The ground was covered in lines, circles, and odd symbols, all arranged in a hugely complex design that only a mind such as X's could comprehend.  One gifted in the magical arts might have been able to recognize several spells of binding and controlling being woven through them.  There were spells to siphon away magic, spells to disrupt summons, and spells to prevent escape, all wound around each other and shaped into a massive holding cell.

He still had much work to do, and not much time in which to do it.  It would be a long night of work before his prison was ready.
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WillowLuman

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3808 on: August 07, 2012, 09:23:46 pm »

[Sorry I wasn't available to script; i was scripting a quest for Skyrim. Yay tutorials!]
[Been working on a dungeon myself. That is, until Dawnguard came out for the PC.]

Prison? For what?

Also, did we grab any of those mini-bots? Those would have working electronics, though much of what was in there would be based on Dalek expertise and so possibly a little alien to our knowledge of electronics.
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wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3809 on: August 07, 2012, 09:28:36 pm »

I'm guessing Mr Happyface.
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