[Ok, I am gonna wrap up a few plot hooks I have been weaving, since nobody seems to want to play.
]
Weird shook his head and returned back to the chipped stoneware mixing bowl. It was just Ollioli, wandering around aimlessly outside in the fortress gloom. Maybe Oli had issues with attending parties too?
He looked at the large pewter pitcher of seperated cream from which he had begun his current task, and reflected how it would be wasteful not to use it for.. something.
Then he got a crooked little smile on his face, and hunted down a saucepan and a stockpot. The motley assortment of cookware in the kitchens reflected the almost ADHD addled and whimsical nature of dwarven craftwork. The idea of making a matched set of.. just about anything.. seemed to be a curious and strange concept in their society. As such, the bright orange of the copper saucepan, and the dull hues of the iron stockpot didn't really stand out as much as you think the would. Not in this kitchen anyway.
Reaching a hand deftly into the egg barrel he had drug in earlier, he snagged up 2, cracked them into a measuring cup he had been using, then dashed them up with a bismuth bronze fork (itself completely unremarkable in being the only one of its kind in the kitchen), before whisking in some cream and some of the separated milk it had come from, and finally pouring the off-yellow mix into the waiting copper pan he had placed on the stone cooktop of the hearth.
It could scald in comfort up there, while the rest of the creme got attacked mercilessly with the whisk.
Its hard to say, perhaps it was just some natura predisposition to the work, or maybe the result of years of ingrained actions, or perhaps some strange eldritch power to "just know", but it was one of those things that had seemed to always be with him when it came to making delicious deserts. Without missing a beat, he sat the bowl and whisk down, stirred the scalding cream mix, donned an oven mitt, and removed the pie and shortbread from their hooks. A little inserted straw confirmed the instinctual ritualistic motion he had undergone; the cake was indeed just right, and moments later, was sliced down its width into two circles of fluffy white cake, and being stuffed with sliced strawberries dusted with sugar, and stiff peak whipped cream in a fun caricature of a frost covered mountain atop a silver serving plate.
In turn, the tubers au gratin came off, and was decanted into a ceramic serving crock and covered, and the prickleberry pie was laid to cool on the open stone counter the cool as the chickens were moved to the lower spit to complete being browned.
Dish to dish, food item to food item, it was amost a dance in the kitchen, moving from one to the next in unbroken succession.
Finally, his attention came back to the now lovely and fragrant scalded cream steaming exuberantly on the cooktop. His smile broadened widely, as he stirred in sugar until dissolved, and poured the lot, over 2 quarts in all into the tall iron stockpot, slipped on one of the stained and slightly tattered pigtal gloves, and let it have it.
A bright flash of bluewhite light, his own twist on X's freezing spell, substituting photonic emission for kinetic redirection as the new form the thermal entropy should assume, blared brilliantly into the room for half a second, leaving the previously piping hot mixture, now flash frozen to near cryogenic frostiness. Eager to sample the offwhite treasure inside, he fumbled for silverware spoon, and ran it over the top of the chilled block inside the pot. A silky smooth curl of home-made frozen custard griped the spoon, and shortly thereafter, passed the cook's seal of approval for good taste. Being a wizard certainly had advantages.
The cart he had parked in the kitchen after his last fit of culinary reaction had miraculously survived the tumult of earthquake, and in short order, became a food services truck fit for party catering. A white pigtail cloth laid over the top of the push cart, giving setting to a mountain of grilled cat-kabobs, the whole spit complete with chickens, the large crock of "potatoes", the pie, the custard, the cake, and one each of a barrel of rum and dwarven wine.
Cracking his knuckles, he kicked open the door, and stormed the party.
Shoving open the double doors into the repaired dining hall, the sight he beheld was....... confusing.
A small group of dwarves had assembled a make-shift musical outfit with a drum, a harp, a flute, and a lute.. and were busy misusing all four instruments in a way best described as "exotic", while 2 burly and heavily bearded brutes laughed and smiled while tossing a 3rd, beardless dwarf up into the air, and then catching them again, amid cheers, jeers, and laughter.
Nonchalantly, weird pushed in the food cart, snagged up a cat-kabob, and a slice of the prickleberry pie with a dollop of the frozen custard on top, and headed for the dining tables.
There was Rikod, sandwiched between Themor and Keshan, the two brewers from earlier, acting very drunk and boistrous.
"Weird lad!" He shouted amid laughs and chuckes from the pair he was sandwiched between. "I was just tellin the wee lasses 'ere about how a clayworker can't be bested when it comes to usin' iz 'ands!"
Suddenly, it clicked.
The beardless, but otherwise equally mannish looking dwarves... were
female dwarves. A sudden rush of comprehension and rationalization came rushing into his mind as the factoid suddenly hit home, and how completely oblivious he had been about things this whole time. That sort of thing came all to easily for him, being estranged from the whole sexual affair to begin with, but the realization that Rikod was........
wenching with... Keshan and themor... was enough perhaps to turn everything that seemed rational or reasonable on its ear for him, and he stood there goggle-eyed and dumbstruck.
"Don' jes' stand there! Git O'er here and sidown!" Barked Rikod amid a flutter of giggles from the brewer 'sisters'.
Hesitantly, and as if sitting down with vipers, he complied, sitting on the right side of Rikod and Themor, the bald one of the two girls.
"Careful lads! That ye don't drop 'er now!" Shouted Rikod at the two burly ones playing catch with the long braided, ad heavy set 'woman', inducing a roar of laughter from the party crowd, and a personal challenge to get out there and do better from one of the "entertainers", to which the ceramicist bellowed "Caint! Got me 'ands full a'ready!" Before hugging the two brewers with each arm, amid a roar of laughter.
"I wuz jest tell the lasses 'ere 'bout how handy ye were o're the last few days lad-- Keshan 'ere says she knew jes' who I wuz a talkin 'boot too! Seem's ye gettin a bit famous round 'ere!"
Wierd's face felt hot, and he was glad his beard had been growing unchecked since getting plunked down, or else his brilliant crimson cheeks would surely be sending signals strong enough to get picked up by extra-terrestrial life.
Themor turned and leaned his way, examining the prickleberry pie he had just sat down on the table, and looking at him coyly.
"I dinna know ye was so talented.." she said, a toothy smile creasing her wide, bald head. It was hard to explain, but something about her appearance reminded him Fester Addams, only less goulish. "This old mud slinger 'ere was sayin ye gots talent.. "
Rikod slightly elbowed the lady in playful disdain of the 'slight', and she elbowed him back more briskly, pushing him almost into Keshan's lap without missing a beat.
"Herbalist.. Ceramicist..
wizard, and.. Cook too?" She asked, motioning at the pie.
"Only occasionaly..." he croaked.
"Well, we can't let you get off on only working occasionally, unless the work is excellent, now can we?" She asked rhetorically, and snagged up the plate of pie, before digging in with her fork. The look of culinary delight the practically rippled over the musclebound woman was impossible not to notice.
"Is it really that good Them?" Asked Keshan, shoving Rikod's face practically into her chest as he made a double "thumbs up" gesture amid more laughter. Completely oblivious, she reached a hand over to get some of the pie, causing Themor to swoon almost into wierd's lap.
"Ge' Yur own!" She mumbled out of a pie-stuffed face, clearly ecstatic over the combination of the warm pie and the frozen custard.
Weird felt so embarased, he throught he would die.
"What else di' ye make ba' 'dere?" She asked, fluttering thick black eyelashes up at him, as he timidly nibbled on the cat-kabob.
"..strawberry shortcake, and.."
"Oh, sounds exotic!" Said Keshan, standing up abruptly, as the two sisters practically battled to get to the deserts on the food cart before the other, leaving just him and Rikod at the table.
"Looks like the lassies like you!" The bearded old pervert crooned.
Weird just ate his kabob with a mortified expression. Rikod roared in laughter in a way only a dwarf could, and slapped him on the back.
This is why he hated parties.