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Did you have fun with this?

Yes
- 4 (14.3%)
No
- 1 (3.6%)
It was fun for a long time but towards the end it just started to drag
- 6 (21.4%)
I wish I could have joined in.
- 17 (60.7%)

Total Members Voted: 28


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Author Topic: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued... FULL DISCLOSURE  (Read 265454 times)

wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3000 on: July 03, 2012, 12:03:09 am »

"Good riddance." Murmured weird. The little imp was nothing but trouble, whatever hugo said to the contrary.  Hugo hadn't been stabbed by him.  Multiple times. Once in his sleep. He trusted corai lss than he trusted eric, but at least corai's deadliness was only as far as his dagger and uzi could reach. A good stone wall, and everything was roses and sunshine. Eric? Hardly.

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Oliolli

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3001 on: July 03, 2012, 12:07:25 am »

Oliolli sat in the dining hall, next to a crudely made chess board. The pieces were also obviously made by someone who was only a beginner in woodcrafting. The situation on the board didn't look good for the white pieces; even a beginner could see that it was only a move or two away from checkmate. There didn't seem to be an opponent for Oliolli, however. He made another move.
I don't get this game.
What's wrong with it?
Several things. First off, are these pieces supposed to represent individual soldiers or larger squads? Why are royalty taking part in the battle? Why can fortifications move? Why can bishops move diagonally only? Why does cavalry move so haphazardly? Sure, it seems a bit like a flanking movement, but if I need it to charge, why can't it charge straight? Why are they the third slowest units in the game? Why do the units get automatically destroyed when something attacks them? Why do units move one at a time? Where are all the combat modifiers? How the hell do regular soldiers get promoted to royalty if they reach the other end of the board?
Just play the damn game...
Oliolli made another move, in a desperate attempt to save the situation, quickly followed by a move by the black side.
Checkmate.
You know, in reality that tactic would've worked. A proper line of heavy infantry with some spears in the mix could've easily survived that cavalry charge...
Either way, our record is now 27-2. Three ties. Not quite the tactician you made yourself out to be, are you?
If this game required real-time attention, multitasking and taking all sorts of situation modifiers into account, I would be better at it.
So what you're saying is that this game is too simple for you?
Well... not really... Just... Not complex enough in the correct aspects.

3 ninjas.

3001st
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WillowLuman

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3002 on: July 03, 2012, 12:10:45 am »

Hugo Luman was about to make an argument, but decided against it. "If I were you, I'd worry about not having seen Corai. The promise I got from him when we got back was only to not immediately do something nasty to you." HugoLuman climbed back on to the massive 9 foot by 9 foot pile of cloth that served as his sickbed. "Oh yeah, speaking of Eric, do you think you could get him to put in a designation for a room for me? I'll need somewhere else to sleep when I'm discharged. Hospitals are especially not fun when you've got a very sharp sense of smell."

ninja'd by Oliolli
« Last Edit: July 03, 2012, 12:13:23 am by HugoLuman »
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wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3003 on: July 03, 2012, 03:15:32 am »

"With Zanz off doing gods know what, the room he dug out the first day for his.....Mount.... has been sitting vacant. It's got an oversized door, and is pretty large inside. Scant on furnishings, besides a big pile of half melted gold that looks like kobolds have been trying to gnaw on it, but its already dug, and vacant. It should suffice until Eric gets around to having your room cut. It was a week and a half before he pushed my request for a lab space through. Rough stone floor, and doesn't even have a door yet. I've been blowing new glassware to stock it with, whenever I'm not busy doing other things. Restocking all the bombs eric used on that centipede nest was brutal. You would not believe how hard it is to hold on to empty barrels around here. Damned haulers are fucking psychics, I swear."

Wierd shook his head.

"You tell 'em that you need 'em to pack with explosives, and they tell you that they need em for booze, and that booze is infinitely more important. I had to resort to casting huge reinforced-glass kegs to shut them the hell up, and leave my wooden powder barrels alone... But enough about that.. The point was that asking me to get Eric to do ANYTHING is probably a bad call. The other dwarves in the fortress all agree that he's a crank, but his clear and obvious loathing of my presence, and apparent joy in putting any requests I make at the VERY bottom of the priority list is obvious enough to cause gossip over. I over heard a conversation by the still 3 days ago, that they were taking a secret bet on which of us would summon legions of the undead to kill the other first. There was even a wager on how long it would take. Really, you are better off asking Gizogin to make the inquiry."
« Last Edit: July 03, 2012, 03:25:27 am by wierd »
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WillowLuman

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3004 on: July 03, 2012, 03:26:15 am »

"You could forge his handwriting and slip it in the paperpile while he's tired. I once did that to a bureaucrat and got away with it... erm, don't ask. Anyway, what you said about glassblowing gives me an idea. Maybe that's a job someone with no hands could do. Would it help if I figured out how to breathe fire?"
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wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3005 on: July 03, 2012, 03:29:46 am »

"It would be handy for making things like beads and such, but really, you need hands to work glass. Though, your apparent fireproof-ness would let you work the stuff like silly-putty. The combustably challenged like myself have to use wet cloth, and wet wooden tools to shape the glass. Surely you could learn to control those front claws?"
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WillowLuman

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3006 on: July 03, 2012, 03:39:40 am »

"Maybe. They seem to be wicked sharp, though." He nooded at the visible scratches on the floor. "Might make things difficult"
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wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3007 on: July 03, 2012, 03:44:55 am »

"You might be surprised. Glass is pretty forgiving as long as you dont let it cool too quickly while working it, and pop it in the annealing oven when you are done to let it slow cool. It has the consistency of something a bit like taffy. I'd be more worried about it sticking than anything else. leaving clawmarks could actually be useful, if you are using it to make trade goods. If you dont want the marks, a quick hit in the glory hole should soften the piece back up enough that they just level out. Thats how you get rid of unwanted tooling marks anyway."

[note, that really is what you call the rework hole on a pot furnace. Sexual innuendo aside.]
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WillowLuman

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3008 on: July 03, 2012, 04:04:11 am »

[My mind... No... just.. ew]

"Hmm. Well, I'm just trying to think of ways to make myself useful and amuse myself. Being able to crawl through magma has got to have some uses. And that reminds me... about the whole breathing fire thing. No idea how that works. I mean, I think there's 2 possibilities; either dragons just make it magically, or there's some kind of substance that gets sprayed out and burns. I'm leaning toward the latter, since when I try, I get this." He spat a jet of dark, reddish-brown substance onto the floor. "Sorry. It's kind of gross. Any way, it's like trying to learn how to waggle your ears; you know it should be physically possible, but you have to figure out how to send the right impulses."
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wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3009 on: July 03, 2012, 04:15:14 am »

"You didnt seem to have any problems doing it two weeks ago when we drug you down here. You about burned the door off its hinges when I set that wing of yours. Have you tried breathing that.... crap.... on a torch or some other fire source, and seeing how your throat reacts to having fire in it?"
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WillowLuman

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3010 on: July 03, 2012, 04:24:49 am »

"Well, that must have been reflexive. No, I can safely say that sticking a torch down my throat never occured to me. Maybe it's time for some dragon science? But not the Dr. Gizogin way. That stuff is either the flamable agent, or some kind of venom, I'd reckon."
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Eric Blank

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3011 on: July 03, 2012, 08:21:12 am »

[toxic saliva, monitor lizard style?]

[You could also work the smelter and do other work around the forges.]
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Mrhappyface

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3012 on: July 03, 2012, 10:57:07 am »

Mrhappyface looked upon his creations with fond eyes. His blueprints of cybernetic design, his smelting furnace, his operating table. A thin film of dust and soot covered them both, and they would no doubt crumble and fade away in time.
But he smiled, for where he was going, he wouldn't need science or the laws of physics. His acolytes have no doubt did their last job perfectly, and now, his plans would finally come to fruition. The kobolds, the dwarves, the dragons, the humans...All would have no weight upon what would happen now.
He was a fool. There were no tools of man that could bring a mortal beyond their current stature in the cosmic scheme. It was with those tools of the higher powers, those that were guided and created as if by through their own hands that could do the deed.
Those innocuous mugs were portals themselves to some higher world, and with the hundred vessels and the casualties from the war, then no doubt could he open the gate in this realm. All one hundred were spaced strategically to make this very room a crack in this plane to the the other. Now to only pry it open so he could view its true glory.
And he took out his scalpel and pricked his finger over the brass bowl. Time seemed to stop for a moment as it dropped into it. Then a deep rumbling began to emanate from the deeps. Around the fort, the 100 mugs started to fill with vitae and overflow. Chunks of masonry started falling and the temperature started rapidly climbing.
 A large fissure tore open the floor of his workshop, and a harsh red light shot out from it, turning the surroundings crimson. From between the brickwork of the walls, blood seemed to be leaking out. Soft wails and giggles could be heard faintly, like a grotesque version of tinnitus. Mrhappyface didn't care. It was all transitory. Without a single faltering step, and a look back, he plunged into the deep. This fort would burn as an offering to the higher lords, that was the promise, but he didn't care.

(I'm going to take a break for a few days, going to Florida for a bit.)
« Last Edit: July 03, 2012, 10:58:56 am by Mrhappyface »
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Gizogin

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3013 on: July 03, 2012, 11:09:59 am »

[I thought Zanz was going to be the one to destroy the fortress.  I'm not entirely sure where you're going with this, and the fact that you're not going to be around for a few days to elaborate on it kinda puts things in a weird position.]
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Eric Blank

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #3014 on: July 03, 2012, 11:22:36 am »

Eric Blank, Head Stoneworker cancels Drink: Interrupted by Earthquake.
A masterwork of Eric Blank has been lost! x7
Eric Blank, Head Stoneworker cancels Experience Earthquake: Interrupted by Strange Magickal Phenomenon.
Eric Blank, Head Stoneworker cancels Remain Calm: Interrupted by sudden sensation of many dead bodies throughout the fortress.

Eric Blank   Head Stoneworker   ‼PANIC‼


Eric leaped up from his seat at the table, shouting, "Everybody run! Get to the surface!"

Dwarves began filing out of the dining room, as small chunks of stone fell from the ceiling. In the halls, more dwarves were cowering in fear as the world seemed to fall down around them. This was an unstable part of the fortress, and the outdoors was closer than the next best section of the fortress.

"Everyone get to the surface as fast as you can! Don't worry about your possessions, grab your kids and get out before you get squished!"

From under a door nearby, blood was pooling. Eric didn't sense a viable corpse inside, so he assumed that someone was hurt, but alive, and opened the door. Inside, he found naught but more blood, coming from under a bed in the corner. Under the edge of the bed, sat a mug, covered in blood, overflowing with blood. Eric Picked it up and tipped it over. The blood kept flowing! Like a great tsunami, blood and gore flowed from the mug-shaped hole in reality. It was magical, too. It felt like the souls of a million angry dead, and a million more monsters unspeakable, all wrapped up in a tiny, evil package.

"Holy shit! What is this!?" He exclaimed to noone in particular. The blood was starting to soak into his boots, and even it's presense smacked of evil magic. Eric ran out of the room, yelled for everyone to get a move on, then descended to the hospital level. Couldn't lose the dragon, couldn't lose the doctors. Have to move. Now.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.
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