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It was fun for a long time but towards the end it just started to drag

6 (21.4%)

I wish I could have joined in.

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Total Members Voted: 28

[wierd]

Wierd laughed heartily.

"As long as he sticks to the hard stuff, and avoids watered down drinks, that old prune should be just fine, but I cant imagine him actually drinking anything without a stomach."

"No stomach?" the as yet unnamed second dwarf asked.

"Course not! Mummies keep all their guts, and their brains in little ceramic jars in their tombs. Didnt you know that?"

Both dwarves just stared at him blinking, looking at each other, then back at him again.

"No mate.. I cant say that we did..."

[WillowLuman]

[Who knows? Didn't see any jars in Roead's tomb. Maybe they just filled him with salt and hoped for the best. Or maybe they just discarded his organs. Removing the organs is an important part of embalming, though, seeing as they begin to rot quickly and spread the rot to nearby tissues, but there are natural mummies with organs still inside that do not rot even when taken to more humid places.]

[wierd]

"Oh, COME ON! It's Egyptology 101 guys! Jeeze! The priests soak the body in a solution of natron, nitre, and various plant extracts, then remove the vital organs and put them in little jars stuffed with natron to turn into little mummy jerky bits. Then they dry the body in dry natron, until it turns teriaki style, then they wrap it all up in strips of fine linen, with magic amulets and spells placed on the body, and closed up in the wrappings. .... Course,... He told me that the kingdom that embalmed him used toilet paper instead of linen.... Who knows what they did to him during the actual embalming process."

[WillowLuman]

Everyone in the dining room (currently resembling a small pub) looked at Wierd quizically. "...Ejipt-ollojie...? What in the gods' names are ye blabbin' aboot?"

[They may have smoked him... that's what the people of Ancient Peru did to mummify corpses.]

[wierd]

Wierd slapped the side of his head.

"Oh... Right..... See, Where I'm from, there was this ancient kingdom called "Egypt", and they made a LOT of mummies... I mean, a LOT of mummies. The study of that ancient culture is called Egyptology. Pretty much anyone that could afford it got mummified in that place."

[WillowLuman]

The dwarves continued to stare at him like he had voracious cave crawlers coming out of his ears. "Riiiiiight," said one of them after several seconds of silence. "so, basic'ly, old dry dead people've got no guts, and the local one be a cheatin' bastard fer entering a drinkin' contest like that."

[Corai]

-Your forgetting that we have tombs and mummies in DF, arent you?-

[wierd]

[dwarves dont mummify their dead. only humans do.]

"Pretty much. The organs are one of the first things to start breaking down, and mummies are made to last for all eternity. The mummies of ancient egypt were made over a thousand years before I was even born. You can still see the facial features and pores on the skin on a well preserved egyptian mummy. It's a shame that during the industrial revolution, so many of them were destroyed....So, how much booze leaked out the front of his wrappings when he did that anyway?"

[WillowLuman]

[It's just that dwarves have little experience with mummies, and have no idea about this "Egypt" place he's talking about. Took a few seconds for them to get it, hence the awkward silence. Now they're wondering why they're talking about this.]

"Some of us'r tryin to eat here, do ye mind? Just go find the bleedin' skiver already an' stop talkin' aboot dead bodies!"

[wierd]

"well damn, ya bunch a pansies! You'd never make it as forensic pathologists! Honestly, sicked out by the idea of bodies older than dirt.... Sheeze! I'd hate to see how you react to a really rotty one!"

There was a sub-audible gagging sound, coming from the room behind him as he left the dining hall, and headed for the opening to the ancient ruin.

Some people just had no respect for anatomy, and ancient cultures.


[my mom is a.... unique... individual. After letting go of her dream of being a paleontologist, she had aspirations of being a forensic pathologist.  We had some.......very interesting.... dinner time discussions. involving the dating of a rotting corpse, by counting the number of fly larval instars (shed pupa cocoons) embedded in the tissue.  If you can handle that conversation while eating steamed rice, you can handle anything.]

[WillowLuman]

Roead heard footsteps coming down the hall. He looked up. "Oh, it's you. This is just about the only place where someone can get some peace and quiet, but I was getting bored anyways. I don't suppose you came just to make small talk with a dusty old merchant like myself?"

[wierd]

"I dunno... Did you REALLY cheat at a drinking contest?"

[WillowLuman]

Roead thought. "Well, I wouldn't call it cheating, per se. I was actually trying to get drunk. Didn't think it would work, but ya can't blame me for bloody well trying. Not my fault if some damn smelly fool says he can drink me under the table. Really, quite an achievement to still be conscious when a dwarf passes out from drink. This isn't what you came all the way down to little old me for, though, is it?"

[wierd]

wierd shook his head in incredulity.

"What?! How did you even----Nevermind. No, that's not what I came down here for. I was wondering if you could do me a favor for making you those shiny new wrappings-- It's real simple, just stuff this dirty old box somewhere that only you know where it is, and where nobody can find it. You cant throw it down a well or something though, I might need it again later."

[WillowLuman]

Roead looked at the box, although his face was impossbile to read, being obscured by wrappings. "This wouldn't happen to have any horrible booby traps on it, would it? Well, no matter. I'm not about to bloody well open it, but there must be something pretty bloody interesting in there, I'm guessing. Sure, mate, your secrets are safe with me. Just tell me, though, is this something more to do with that daft trumped up little bastard that thinks he gives orders around here?"