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Poll

Did you have fun with this?

Yes
- 4 (14.3%)
No
- 1 (3.6%)
It was fun for a long time but towards the end it just started to drag
- 6 (21.4%)
I wish I could have joined in.
- 17 (60.7%)

Total Members Voted: 28


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Author Topic: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued... FULL DISCLOSURE  (Read 266337 times)

Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #2055 on: June 06, 2012, 11:31:44 am »

Just hoping things don't get too ridiculous, though. I'm just afraid that we'll reach the point where we beat enemies by rapidly tunneling under them in seconds or building prisons around the enemy mid-battle. That would be god-modding and frankly too cartoonish.

I agree completely, I want to cut it down too. Was just trying to write ahead of schedule. I'll slow it down to 48 hours. After all, dwarves may only move 50 tiles in the space of a day. :P

It was a good effort, but The enemy have come and are laying siege to the fortress.

Zanzetkuken looked outward to the surrounding area, and spotted something on the horizon.  The siege had come.  He looked out using his usqueinspectoris and spotted a frontline of two hundred goblins, with five hundred kobolds.  Behind them were two hundred dwarves, two hundred humans, and two hundred elves.  Behind and above them were two hundred of each species of dragon.  Zanzetkuken swore under his breath and shouted down to Eric from his position on one of the catwalks, "They're here!"

For the species of dragon, see my mod.
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Eric Blank

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #2056 on: June 06, 2012, 12:30:31 pm »

[You are no fun... I was hoping to go quite a bit further with this line of thought before you threw doomsday after us. Haven't even called on the mountainhomes yet so no support.]

"Welp, fuck it. EVERYONE PANIC!! TO THE BUNKERS!"

Dwarves began to flee inside, while the enemy was still more than a kilometer away [because there is no way anyone could possibly miss an army like that.] Within a two minutes, there were no dwarves left outdoors, and the gate was closed. Anyone brave or stupid enough to NOT run inside deserved their fate; they had plenty of warning. Though he did suspect certain people to do something exactly like that, namely the militia commander and a few forumites, because honestly why wouldn't they?

Soon, the dwarves were deep inside the fort, to an old stone quarry not far above the magma sea, which had had it's own miniature obsidian cast-gate to shut it tightly. Considering it was built in a thick layer of obsidian and everything outside the gate was visibly only a route to the forges, nobody would suspect that the civilian population hadn't fled through the heavily-trafficked caverns. It was all up to whoever was stupid enough to stay outside to break the siege.

Eric himself had his own little bunker to hide in, filled with levers. He had many zombie kittens around the fort to act as his eyes. "I wonder if the dragons can guess why there is a minimum of three stories of rock above each section of the fort." He chuckled as he took a seat at the desk.

But then he suddenly realized that only one of the levers actually DID anything at this point. The rest of his plans got scrapped to continue work on the tower. Fuck. Trapped in my own little room...
« Last Edit: June 06, 2012, 12:32:50 pm by Eric Blank »
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I make Spellcrafts!
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wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #2057 on: June 06, 2012, 12:57:52 pm »

Weird put the quill down, as the alarm bells rang out.

"Every FUCKING DAY!" He shouted. "Can't your people just give it a rest already!?"

He had finished the PVC rubber batch more than 2 hours ago, and was burning the midnight oil, yet again.  The new hazard suit, in all its glorious and gleaming brass and black rubber glory, was stretched over a makeshift mannequin made of wadded up pillows and bedsheets to cure, and had been standing that way in a corner for hours now. 

Now, he was drafting a sanitized volume on the art of healing living flesh from the mad scrawlings of that bitch thari. Or rather, *was* doing that.

He and hugo had sequester themselves away, reading and discussing the magics inside those creepy leather bound tomes. Bound in what kind of leather, exactly, he didn't want to know or guess, though he had his suspicions.

He was sleepy, and cranky.  Couldn't the fortress just install a self destruct mechanism and a panic room, so when the invading armies come, we could just pull the lever from isolated safety, and squash whatever invading horde was paying us a visit that time?  Clearly not. That showed too much rational planning and forethought for this place. Why did he even live here again?

"The fools are at it again." He scowled, rubbing the center of his brow, nursing a fatigue headache intensified by all the noise. Languidly, he stumbled to the workbench and popped 2 of the aspirin tablets, and chased them with some distilled ethyl alcohol from the workbench. He had been getting sober from working nonstop the last few days... well, would have been nonstop if it weren't for all the damn interruptions! The airborne alcohol vapor from the alcohol lamps and the retort's distillations alone had kept him properly sauced. He was hungry too.

Blowing out all the alcohol flames, and tidying up the workbench, putting reagents away safely to avoid any accidents should the troubles pay his makeshift lab a visit, he scooped up some of the refined substance containers he had managed to refill. Gods he hated using them right now, these were meant to kickstart operations in a *real* lab room! Using them now would mean more sleepless nights processing raw materials the *hard* way. The very thought made him angry. Whoever was outside was gonna pay! With meticulous care and well honed control he kept the sizzling rage just beneath the surface so he could work; loading the compartments of the new hazard suit, and attaching the unbroken components and vials from the previous model to expedite completion. Five minutes, it was done.

"Dragons! The dragons are comming!" He heard from the doorway.  Hugos expression became one of apprehension. You didn't have to be psychic to read what was on his mind. Poor guy was a dragon himself. Dwarves in the zone wouldn know him from adam outside, and going into the hall would cause a panic.

Weird huffed out an exasperated sigh.

"Hold still hugo. We'll make sure nobody confuses you for one of those damned deus-ex-machina morons outside." He growled, and reached for the pot of PVC rubber adhesive.

He hoped there was enough.
« Last Edit: June 06, 2012, 01:14:49 pm by wierd »
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WillowLuman

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #2058 on: June 06, 2012, 01:56:32 pm »

HugoLuman was simply astonished. They had been at the new site for 5 weeks. Five goddamn weeks. The fort was at best 60% set up. Somehow an entire army was already besieging their "walls," and they were by no means ready for it. He was glad that one of the first thing they did was build a large emergency bunker with both a panic and situation rooms, but they'd had no time to set up any serious defenses. The mountainhomes were a whole continent away. It would take months for them to send word, even if they managed to send a quick message via bird (though they had no trained messenger birds.) What allies did they have nearby?

"Weird, before you do whatever you're doing, let me just say that we have to make sure someone moves these books. I don't want the ransacking army to reveal them to the world."
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Dwarf Souls: Prepare to Mine
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Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

Gizogin

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #2059 on: June 06, 2012, 02:04:50 pm »

Gizogin (the one in the workshop) heard the siege klaxon, and sighed.  He put down the metal plate he'd been working on, and stood up.  Going over to the hospital door, he pulled down the hospital roster, and started checking that all his patients were accounted for.  This was exactly why he hated when people left without his permission; it made the paperwork a real pain.  After checking his list a second time, he pulled the lever to seal off the hospital from the rest of the fortress.  Because it might not be possible to move all the patients in the event of a siege or other disaster, he'd long ago taken measures to ensure that no invading force would be able to breach the hospital.  He also kept it well stocked with food and medical supplies, and the hospital cistern was full to the brim.  By his reckoning, he'd be able to wait out the siege in the hospital for more than eight months, if it came to that.  The only problem was that he had no way of knowing what was going on outside.  He'd just have to wait for the all-clear.

Meanwhile, the other Gizogin led those dwarves who were still under his command to the deeper parts of the fortress.  Most of his team had left to build the wall, but a few, those with bad backs or other infirmities, had stayed to watch the dining hall for any sign of containment breach.
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Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #2060 on: June 06, 2012, 02:37:37 pm »

Wait, couldn't hugo leave the fort inconspicuously due to the fact that he is a dragon?  And aren't the people at the microline tower our allies?
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wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #2061 on: June 06, 2012, 02:50:45 pm »

"I had no idea this is what you had in that batshit head of yours!" Seethed hugo.

A small pile of ripped open pillows from wierd's bed lay on the floor, white chicken and duck reathers all over the place.

"Quiet you!" Weird retorted. "I had to make sure that nobody confused you with one of them, and this is just rediculous enough to work!"

He raised the rubber coated boar bristle brush in an attempt to paint another pass.

"Get that shit away from me!" Hissed hugo, indignantly.

Perhaps painting his accomplice in black rubber adhesive, then coating him in white chicken feathers with a great big "H" on his sides *wasnt* such a good idea....

"Look damnit, we don't have time for this. Its either "ultra mega-chicken", or you get shiskabobed when you go out in the hall!"

Really, they didn't have time for this.
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Gizogin

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #2062 on: June 06, 2012, 02:55:42 pm »

[You're tarring and feathering Hugo?  Isn't that more a sort of medieval punishment than means of identification?]
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wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #2063 on: June 06, 2012, 02:57:50 pm »

[Pvc rubber is applied with solvent. More like paint and feather. Also, there's not a whole lot weird can do to add identification to hugo. Besides, it will come right off with another magma dip.]
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Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #2064 on: June 06, 2012, 03:07:08 pm »

[You're tarring and feathering Hugo?  Isn't that more a sort of medieval punishment than means of identification?]

Yes, Yes it is...

"I had no idea this is what you had in that batshit head of yours!" Seethed hugo.

A small pile of ripped open pillows from wierd's bed lay on the floor, white chicken and duck reathers all over the place.

"Quiet you!" Weird retorted. "I had to make sure that nobody confused you with one of them, and this is just rediculous enough to work!"

He raised the rubber coated boar bristle brush in an attempt to paint another pass.

"Get that shit away from me!" Hissed hugo, indignantly.

Perhaps painting his accomplice in black rubber adhesive, then coating him in white chicken feathers with a great big "H" on his sides *wasnt* such a good idea....

"Look damnit, we don't have time for this. Its either "ultra mega-chicken", or you get shiskabobed when you go out in the hall!"

Really, they didn't have time for this.

You couldn't have just painted an 'H' on his magma-proof armor?

Well, there goes this plan:
Wait, couldn't hugo leave the fort inconspicuously due to the fact that he is a dragon?  And aren't the people at the microline tower our allies?
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<DozebomLolumzalis> you filthy god-damn ninja wizard dragon

wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #2065 on: June 06, 2012, 03:10:24 pm »

Hugo's "naked".

Clothes burned off earlier the previous day, plugging the magma tube.

He's got nothing on but his scales.  And painting a bit H on his sides in black isn't very contrasting with the dark color his scales naturally are.  White feathers however....

Yes, its like putting a dragon in a tutu.  Its retarded.  But it would be clearly identifiable, and is definately NOT something your dragons would do. :D
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Oliolli

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #2066 on: June 06, 2012, 03:17:31 pm »

Oliolli had been awake and groaning for a few hours already. Bound and gagged in a cave in the middle of nowhere. A cave full of potentially hostile people. His weapons taken away. And a kitten staring at him. He hoped that he had just ignored the footprints in the forest. He had noidea how many people were in the cave system, or how large it was. Based on some of the sounds he could hear, it was a large set-up: he could even hear forges.

After some time of groaning and trying to free himself he could hear approaching footsteps. Another one of the figures had come, staring at Oliolli. Oliolli had a feeling that if he could see the figure's face entirely, it would be smiling, which was unsettling.

"So we meet again, then... Who would've guessed I would have to possess someone like this dope to get you? I had already found the perfect titan."
Nozut would have screamed, but didn't have control over any bodily functions. No-one heard it, and no-one could help.
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Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #2067 on: June 06, 2012, 03:18:52 pm »

Hugo's "naked".

Clothes burned off earlier the previous day, plugging the magma tube.

He's got nothing on but his scales.  And painting a bit H on his sides in black isn't very contrasting with the dark color his scales naturally are.  White feathers however....

Yes, its like putting a dragon in a tutu.  Its retarded.  But it would be clearly identifiable, and is definately NOT something your dragons would do. :D

When me and Hugo planeswalked back from Alara, I gave him full dragonic magma-proof battle armor.
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Quote from: Eric Blank
It's Zanzetkuken The Great. He's a goddamn wizard-dragon. He will make it so, and it will forever be.
Quote from: 2016 Election IRC
<DozebomLolumzalis> you filthy god-damn ninja wizard dragon

wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #2068 on: June 06, 2012, 03:22:16 pm »

Must not have been paying attention... (that would also have made it much harder to tranq him earlier, and for somebody to steal a souvenier.)

Regardless, he's got chicken feathers now!  All hide in terror from hugo mega chicken!

Lol!

(Sorry hugo. If you can think of a different way to unshakably identify you besides the chicken feathers, I'll retcon.)
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Oliolli

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall, continued...
« Reply #2069 on: June 06, 2012, 03:26:36 pm »

I'm tempted to make a disembodied voice shout

"PIRATE DRAGON! PIRATE DRAGON! YOU STILL HAVE THE EYEPATCH AND STUFFED PARROT LYING AROUND!"
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When all you've got is an adjustable spanner and an entire freight warehouse of terrifying cogs and gears, everything looks like "just a prototype".
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You all turned Swordthunders into a bastion of madness that seems to warp in on itself under its own hatred of sanity.  I'm so happy!
Quote from: Loud Whispers
drowning babies everywhere o-o
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