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It was fun for a long time but towards the end it just started to drag

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Total Members Voted: 28

[Eric Blank]

"You son of a bitch." He stuttered as he picked himself up off the floor.

He quietly followed the pair down the hall, out the doors, and down the stairwell to the magma cistern. He stopped at the last flight of stairs and addressed them.
"Do you have any idea how much of a fool you've made of yourselves? To just assume the worst, to assault your comrades in such an uncivilized manner? I'll deal with Athel when it becomes reasonable. Athel's soul isn't dead; if you sent him to the afterlife as a mortal, no matter whether his body is a damn table, what do you think will happen? He'd lose his mind, his soul would be destroyed! Have you even tested to see if he's still in there? He could have pulled the plug on himself by now. And to bring him back to the very site he lost his body! Learn some patience, control-freak, these things need to be sorted out in a sensible manner, and throwing stones around like apes does not qualify."

[Edit for typos]

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Blue, white, black. Clockwork eldricht abomination has Octarine.

"What have you... done... Zanzetkuken? You realize that now I am utterly fragmented, and with only a partial existence I am astrally tethered to you? Now my mind will leech off your energy to exist, and I can't help it."

"You've still got your own body, don't you?"

"Yes, but it's the mind that counts. Well, as long as the other half is still trapped I suppose it doesn't matter. I just hope that the other I hasn't managed to tether itself to any wandering spirits."

Octarine?

"That is true.  But you have the spark.  It can be strengthened.  Therefore, you would be able to remove the tether.  And truth be told, I thought that it would end up a lot worse than it did.  And, my body can sustain you due to me having the ability to summon Eldrazi.

Anyway, there is a reason why I had chosen this plane to come to.  Do you see the relic behind you?"

"Yes."

"That is a marker left by one of the beings that planeswalkers enter a contract with.  This contract though, was unknown, until now.  By referencing old scrolls and tales that contained a wispier of a hint to the contract.  I have now discovered that planeswalkers need to protect beings known as the souls of the worlds.  Beings that allow worlds to exist through their strength.  And I have found that they can be artificially made by planeswalkers.  Karn and the Argetium.  Phyrexia and Rath.  Places that were created, but each had an artificial soul to sustain it.  Actual planes however, have actual beings, and we as planeswalkers need to protect them.  What do you say?  Will you assist the effort?"

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Edit: moved to prior post.

[wierd]

"His body died. His soul didn't go where it was supposed to go. And souls are more durable than that. I don't know why, but I also know that dead people can't be crazy. Here.. let's see if he's still in there, shall we?"

Weird walked over to the table and rapped his fist down on the surface, making a loud pounding sound.

"Armok's beard, ya swarmy bastard! Can't the dead get some quiet! Have some respect, ya!?" Shouted the table.

"Yup. Still in there allright. Listen mr ghosty pants! Either come out of that table this instant, or I'll send you on the wildest ride of your unnaturally extended life!"

The table lurched toward the hall a few inches, before blaring out obstinately:

"Why don' ya just waltz o're here an' make me, ya girly tart!"

Wierds face turned red.

"Have it your way..." weird scowled, snatching up the plaster chunk from the floor, and angrily going back to work on the sigil.

Eric tried to force his way into the room, but Roead stopped him bodily.

"Out of the way, 'king tuten-teriaki'! I gotta stop that moron!"

"Ain't happnen mate!" The mummy laughed, extending his dessicated frame to completely block the door.

"You don't want to make that circle." Eric intoned, eyes fixated at weird.

Weird sat the plaster down, and looked whimsically at the ceiling.
"Let me think.... nope. Still gonna do it!" He said, picking the plster chunk back up.

"Take yer bes' shot, ya freakin fairy!" Shouted the table.

Weird abruptly stood up, and examined the absurdly intricate scrollwork drawn on the rhyolite floor. 

"Have it your way, mr table!" Weird laughed, grabbing hold of one of the legs, and pulling it toward the center of the circle.

"Hey! Lemme go!" Shouted the table. "I ain't goin o're there, and ya cannie make me!"

"Stop! For armok's sake!" Shouted Eric. "You don't know what will happen!"

Eric's face was pained, strained, and gripped with restrained terror.  Weird didn't care. The ghost of Mr chicken was going to the afterlife, even if it had to shipped as freight to get there.

Pulling the table hurt like hell. Gods, who knew alabaster could weigh so goddamn much!? One more heave, and the foul mouthed and recalcitrant mule of a table was in position in the center of the circe.

"For god's sake! STOP!" Shouted eric, absolute terror in his eyes.

He paused for a second. Nope. The vicious tickle in the back of his mind was shouting "send It! Send it!"

"Sorry eric. It's gotta go!"

Stepping outside the circle, and making the appropriate gestures, then touching the edge, crimson light flared around the circle like it had caught fire.

"Whoaaaah bessy!" Shouted the table. "You're crazy, ya ken!?"

Weird smiled.  "I know."

Finishing the gesture, a great ball of black mist exploded into being around the table, and just as suddenly, contracted into nothing leaving only a slightly concave depression in the floor where it used to be.

Smugly, weird dusted his hands, and turned to walk back towards the door.

Then it happened.

A brilliant flash of golden light light streaked with black mist crackled and boomed as a shower of mixed sparkles and a concussive shockwave blasted behind him, knocking him on his face.

There, in the circle, the table stood. A giant cork covered in fine lines of divine origin plugged a glowing golden halo of light on the table's surface, itself bathing the room in beautiful golden light streaming out of the arcane script running along its surface.

But the peace de resistance was what was on top of the cork.

An obsidian statuette of a tall woman holding an hourglass in one hand, slapping her ass with the other, and making a 'kissy face' stood larger than life atop the cork. A large scrap of purfumed paper declared in larger than life letters "thank's love. Better luck next time. XO" with a black heart painted on the bottm right corner.

From his vantage on the floor, weird spied several postage stamps pasted all over the legs of the table, along with a rubber stamp mark that read "return to sender."

[WillowLuman]

[Look up Octarine, ZTG. It was kind of a little joke.]

A blue ball of light exploded into being behind them. Electricity arced around the room, causing weird and Eric to squint. When the light cleared, a crouched figure stood up. It was wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket. "Oh, hello. I'm back from... wherever it is I was."

"Is that... Hugo?"

"Why, of course it is? Who else would I look like?"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger for one. But... weren't you a dragon?"

He hadn't expected this. Perhaps he should have gathered more intel first, but the host soul had been in this room. Compensating marvelously, he said without any confusion on his face, "Oh. I'll explain later. Something to do with strange interdimensional shenanigans and Zanzetkuken no doubt."

A stream of profanity came from the table. "What the hell did'ye do, ye scurvy soapmaker? There be a voice in me head!"

HugoLuman considered Zanzetkuken's offer.

"I suppose I owe you something for sustaining my consciousness with your life-force. I don't think I'll be able to get very far from you without falling unconscious, so I guess I should stick with you until I find a way to restore myself. However, there is something seriously wrong afoot in Dwarf Fortress. I must complete my investigation. There can be no higher priority for me."

[Eric Blank]

"What the hell? Your goddess has the sense of humor of my ex..." Eric stood shocked. Shocked both by this utterly bizarre behavior and that he hedn't thought to bring his pickaxe down on Roead's rotten skull, and why Hugo had sudenly appeared behind them on the stairs.

Athel's voice crackled from the table, mannifesting near one of the legs, "Agh! The hell was that!? Where did they go?"

"Who?"

"Some fuckers was yelling at each other! The hell did you do!? I cannae believe it! How could you lie to me, you basard?! If I can't have her back, I'd rather be dead. Fuck you all!" Athel's voice stopped short of sobbing, and was heard no more.

"See what you did, you fool? Malancholy. He wasn't dead, you just drove him over the edge. This could be solved in a sensible manner, but no, it's all brute force and cave man logic with you. Bring my fucking table back to my room before I report you to the guard. I at least need a surface to write on!" After that, he stamped up the stairwell. With these meddling fools, there was no work that could get done. They'd killed his friend. He didn't want to have to go back to Sigun and tell her that her lover was murdered not by his own foolishness as she'd feared he would, but by a necromancer.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

[Look up Octarine, ZTG. It was kind of a little joke.]

A blue ball of light exploded into being behind them. Electricity arced around the room, causing weird and Eric to squint. When the light cleared, a crouched figure stood up. It was wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket. "Oh, hello. I'm back from... wherever it is I was."

"Is that... Hugo?"

"Why, of course it is? Who else would I look like?"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger for one. But... weren't you a dragon?"

He hadn't expected this. Perhaps he should have gathered more intel first, but the host soul had been in this room. Compensating marvelously, he said without any confusion on his face, "Oh. I'll explain later. Something to do with strange interdimensional shenanigans and Zanzetkuken no doubt."

A stream of profanity came from the table. "What the hell did'ye do, ye scurvy soapmaker? There be a voice in me head!"

Interesting.  Interesting.  Did he get a bit of the spark?

HugoLuman considered Zanzetkuken's offer.

"I suppose I owe you something for sustaining my consciousness with your life-force. I don't think I'll be able to get very far from you without falling unconscious, so I guess I should stick with you until I find a way to restore myself. However, there is something seriously wrong afoot in Dwarf Fortress. I must complete my investigation. There can be no higher priority for me."

"What I saw happening to your realm looked like an incomplete conflux.  Strangest thing I've seen.  Clockwork must have something to do with it, wouldn't you say?  I think I can by pass the oath due to you just hearing it basically, but I need to give you the markings, and a deck.  Here is your deck, Esper Artifice, and here is the knowledge to use it."

Knowledge flooded into Hugo's mind as the markings appeared upon each shoulder.  He was equipped with full body steel plate armor, over leather, along with a helm that covered his head with openings for his eyes, and the piece around his jaw removed.

"Let's go," said Zanzetkuken as they planeswalked to the dwarven realm.

Hugo, you basically now have the same abilities as me, since I shared (almost) all the knowledge that I gained over the 15 years I was outside of your realm with you.  And do you like the deck?

[wierd]

Weird walked over to the sobbing table.

"Uhm... mr table?"

"The hell do YOU want!?" It shouted. "Can't you see I'm in MOURNING o're here!?"

"Mourning? Over what? And why are you still in that damned table!?" He demanded.  For a melancholy ghost, he was surprisingly cogent.

"Oh, like YOU don't know, Mr Knowall!" Blurted the table. "Jus' HAD te sen' me o're that blasted bumpy arsed minecart joyride te' the damned HFS, roun' bloody Armok's arse, an intae some damned naked strumpet's room, wherein she and some bearded bloke was havin a dandy of a time a smashin plates, and callin each other names as would make te' gods damned HFS blush, when they's a started a fightin o're me! Course, since I's was in this 'ere infernal table, I couln'a get awee, and the next thin I knew, i's gettin a major thumpin, a spittin headache, and I starts hearin that blasted infernal argument blarin inside me brainpan!"

The table was clearly hysterical.

"You know... you could always try.. you know... leaving the table?"

[WillowLuman]

"Better take the helmet off so they can see my face. Don't want them to think there's a dragon war party on the way."

Auroras of light swirled passed them as they passed through reality. "Well, the other version of me may have something to do with it, yes, but there's still something missing. Before my timeline was fragmented, in the splitsecond before I was overwhelmed by the infinity of time pouring through my brain, I saw something, and whatever it was it was bad. So bad that, in conjunction with being mentally shattered from becoming the temporal singularity for a moment, it made me go berserk. I've got to find out what that was."


Hugo was relieved. For a moment, he thought that the table-dwarf would blow his cover, hearing voices in his head; but evidently he hadn't heard the whispers coming from the half-mind parasitically attached to his soul. "Oh, let's not be hasty," he said. "I'm sure there is more to explore before we try that route. Suicide is after, all, not the answer."

After all, he needed to find another loose spirit to tether himself too before he could let this one die.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

"Who knows what it was.  It may not be the best thing though.  Anyway, I'll get that helm off of you when we land."

They came into the realm and looked at their surroundings and saw...the Goblin Dark Tower.

"You've got to be kidding me Armok..." said Zanzetkuken as he equiped Darksteel Armor upon himself.

[wierd]

Weird felt sorry for the poor ghost.  Clearly, the table had been sabotaged by an angry goddess to be a living hell. So much for "hospitality".  It didn't matter. The technicality of having been sent to the other side was out of the way now. If that ghost wanted out of that table, but didn't want to go to the other side, it didn't have to now. That was the whole point.  Sucked that he landed in the middle of.........that............though.

He turned to Roead.

"Hey, do you think you could lend me a hand?  Eric's really pissed at us now, but we can put him in a surrogate body now! I think he's too scared to come out of the table. Gizogin makes bodies for this very thing you know!"

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Weird felt sorry for the poor ghost.  Clearly, the table had been sabotaged by an angry goddess to be a living hell. So much for "hospitality".  It didn't matter. The technicality of having been sent to the other side was out of the way now. If that ghost wanted out of that table, but didn't want to go to the other side, it didn't have to now. That was the whole point.  Sucked that he landed in the middle of.........that............though.

He turned to Roead.

"Hey, do you think you could lend me a hand?  Eric's really pissed at us now, but we can put him in a surrogate body now! I think he's too scared to come out of the table. Gizogin makes bodies for this very thing you know!"

If happyface and the refugees arrived, then one of them could grow organic body plates to craft a body for the ghost.

[WillowLuman]

"Looks like we landed a bit far from home base," said HugoLuman. "I'd rather not start anything we can't finish right now. I tend to avoid violence whenever possible. Come on, let's get out of here before they send someone to see what's going on."
The sunglassed figure regarded weird. He needed to think of a way to ask about things without seeming suspicious. He also needed to make sure that his host soul remained conveniently nearby. Merging with the spirit of that rogue Oliolli floating around hadn't quite given him the substance he needed.

[wierd]

"So, hugo... how did you ditch the green and scaly? Its always "poof", I'm something different now' with you these days."

[Eric Blank]

[I am too dead to think right now. This is the weirdest story arc I've ever read. "I got sent to the afterlife in a table, forced to witness divine intercourse, divine arguments, divinely tortured, and sent home, still in a table, all without ever actually dying. And now I wish death would make it stop!"

Also, wierd, the table is picture jasper, not alabaster. Actually very different things. ]
------------------------
Eric stopped just out of the line of sight of the others when he heard more moaning from Athel. He clearly wasn't quite willing to die. These two deities were romantically involved? Well, that screwed his plans over rather nicely. Back to designing a workable fortress... He kept going up the stairs, and proceeded to the construction zone to check on Cog's progress with the retaining walls.