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[Xantalos]

The camera's rolling.

There's a plush leather chair in front of a fire, with a cozy, well-decorated room all around.

Into view strides a dwarf, wearing mismatched armor, almost completely covered in bone jewlery, wielding a pick that has even more spikes, rings, and bands of bone on him than he does. Some of his clothes are nearly falling off him, but they seem to repair themselves, forming into a suave-looking suit, barely visible under the armor.

The dwarf sits down with an audible groan on the chair's part. His legs hanging off the ground, he straightens himself, looks straight into the camera, and flashes a smile that reveals his lower left back tooth is missing. "Greetings all," he says. "You may or may not know me, depending on which dimensional thread you're on, but please, listen tho the following message. It is of great importance, or so I'm told. You see, while my mortal body is currently swimming across The Organized Waters in my home dimension, Our Father In Blood, Armok himself, has called me up here-" -He gestures at the room- "to try to find some interest. He's apparently in a state of nostalgia over champions of old, and wishes his followers to do the same. As such-" He is interrupted as some giant sort of serpent crashes through the wall behind him. "Excuse me for a second," he says, and throws himself at the beast, copper pick in hand.

Crashing sounds are heard, and splatting. There is a huge crunch, and something's death scream. The dwarf stomps back onscreen, covered in blood and dragging the serpent behind him, it's skull caved in. He hoists himself back onto the chair and pulls a carving knife out of his belt as he resumes talking. " Anyway," he says, laying the dragon's head on his lap and skilfully dissecting it with the knife, "Armok has requested that all those who adventure in His name, come here for a time, and share your memories by the fire." By this time he has shorn the dragon corspe into it's component parts and is beginning to whittle on a bone. "But not just any memories, oh no. Great Armok has already commisioned http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=51245.0 someone else for that great task. I'm talking about the highlight of your careers. What is the most legend-worthy deed you have ever accomplished, the thing that you feel made Armok most proud of you, the highlight of your career!" The dwarf has shaped most of the bones into decorations, which he begins to put on. "So come, sit by the fire, and regale Armok with tales...of glory!" The dwarf has finished affixing the remainder of the bones to his pick, and he tosses the rest of the corpse away. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll get back to swimming." The dwarf walks offcamera, leaving a plush room, lit by a fire, covered in blood, with a giant hole in the wall.

OOC: So basically what the dwarf said. What is the most badass thing you, in DF, have ever done? In gentlemen-speak, if at all possible, but tones of voice that seem to pierce the viel of the ages is alos acceptable. Or knowing Bay12, true Armok worship.

Adieu! -Xantalos

[Mrhappyface]

"INTRODUCING BOMREK IRONSHATTERS!" announced the host.
A grizzled one-handed dwarf armed in blood stained mail walks into the room and plops down onto the seat across from the host.
"So, your story?" asks the host?
"Oh, I'm not that interesting. Dragon, vampire, colossus, titan. The usual. I think my companion, Amuy was much more devoted to Armok than I was."
"Amuy? That's not a dwarf name." says the host, scratching his beard.
"He was a manling, I have to admit, but I'm sure his story qualifies." said the dwarf with a smirk. He cleared his throat and began.
 (Thread here http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=106529.0)
This was Amuy Stavefalls,one of the chosen of the god of blood. But his story comes later.
First, the creation of monument to him must be told. When the dwarves of Weathertwists created the Chalice of Armok, great favor fell on the fort. Capturing, dismembering, and offering the blood to the earth and the ancestors. A great road was built from the holy obsidian formed in this union of blood and magma, giving a clear message of His will to the world. Many years passed and the plump helmet and beer flowed like the mightiest of rivers. But one day, the dwarves left their workshops and merriment, taking the oldest and youngest with them to the Hall of Sacrifice. Passing by the platinum statue, they knew that their time has ended. One by one, they cast themselves into the Offering Pit, honoring their god with their vitae. All but one, did and he too has passed on but the legend of Weathertwists lived because of him."
The host was disturbed by this. "So your companion?"
Amuy Stavefalls was my companion, an strapping fellow who sought the pleasures in life and glory in adventure. But when we came upon this site despite my warnings, he knew. When he opened the twin doors of the Church of Armok, and walked past the pews, he knew. Looking down into the steely depths of the Chalice, the Tombs of Ancestors, and the Field of Brass far, far below; he knew that Armok spoke to him. Taking up a masterpiece shield and axe, he set out to do his duties. First slaying  great beasts and creatures of the night, slaying the masters of the towers and creatures of the deep always taking their heads and corpses and bringing them back to offer to Him. The smallfolk and lords alike venerated him as a hero, but he knew that he could never be truly with them, for his place was at His side. The world grew thin of these great foes, and I felt that we would truly earn our places as the greatest of legends. But the Chalice still hungered.
He began butchering men and dwarves alike, for he saw no distinction between the blood of innocents and that of guilty. Many said that he was truly a demon, having never had a conscience. But I know the truth, he transcended it. For Armok never cared where the blood flowed from, as long as it flowed. I confronted him when I thought his madness ended with the slaughter of an entire city. The chalice was bloated with corpses and the tombs below painted with gore.
The cries of the people became too great, and I knew that the hour of reckoning was close at hand. I challenged him in the Hall of Sacrifices, amongst the gazes of the platinum gods and dwarves. Hammer against Axe, we fought till dawn. But when he thought he had the upper hand and severed my fighting hand. He stopped in that moment, and I saw a fleeting glimpse of that innocent boy.
"Bomrek?" he uttered. "End its hunger...please!" He began to raise the axe for the killing blow, lapsing back into his possessed self.
I nodded, as we once did in the old days. And I struck him in the head with my shield, breaking his skull and stunning him. I knew what he wanted to be done. With my teeth gritted in pain, I dragged his body to the edge and offered him. He was smiling at me when I fell, and I watched his form fade into the darkness. The chalice came full circle. I then released the floodgates, and Weathertwist's story ended."
The dwarf sat up.
"Thanks for your time folks! Peace OUT!" and he grabbed the complementary syrup roast and microcline miniforge giftbasket and walked out to the tune of a happy audience.

Note:Amuy pretty much brought upon the Age of Heroes from the early Age of Legends by himself. By the end, he pretty much killed close to 200 megabeasts and several hundred normal sentients. Bomrek was a old adventurer from my earlier saves.

[saltmummy626]

"well, I dont have anything on that last guy, but I did some things that I thought brought glory to your dwarven blood god."

"what that then human? before you say though, whats your name?"

"I am Anir Creviceclamb, the hawk of shadows. I was born and raised in Omon Gorbe, the realm of shade."

"thats very interesting, so human, how do you think you have glorified yourself in the eyes of armok?"

"well, when I started my travels, Omon Gorbe had a huge lycanthrope problem. at first I went about it alone, no companions but my <<-iron guantlet->> and my silver battle axe. we traveled up and down the coasts, from smithpaints to anvilrelief, strangling lycanthropes into unconsciousness, punching out their teeth, and cutting off their hands."

"that seems a bit... easy to me..."

"well it was, at first. then as people started to recognize me and look up to me, they started giving out harder quests. It wasnt long before I was contracted to slay the hydra "barreloars." he had a longer title, but I have long forgotten it. I gathered up an army of four and traveled far into the south. its lair was decorated with bones, blood, and sundered flesh of it victems. it was slain, with help, in my usual manner. couldent strangle it though, so I proceeded to remove heads. in the end, one of those I brought with me managed a killing blow with his spear."

"was that all?"

"no no, after that, I was also contract to slay a pair of titans, and the local baron who was a vampire. in the end, I became an enemy of the kobolds. easy to crush they are, but I need not tell you, arrows hurt. after all that time, Id killed 33 notable creatures, and tons of animals."

"hm... well thats all very interesting and all, can we get a dwarf in here? this human is stinking up the joint with his human fumes."

[Nathail]

A grizzled human with crowded teeth strolls in. He has an *iron great axe* in one hand and an +iron shield+ in the other. The shield is slightly charred around the edges. The man sits down in the chair.
"Well," he begins, his clear voice rebounding out the hole in the wall, "This is a rather small tale. It begins early in my career, though I had still killed a fair amount of giants and bandits by that point. I had just gone into a human fortress to see what the local Lord felt would be a good test of my heroism."
The human grins.
"I must have really looked unimpressive then, because he told me to go and kill a giant jaguar."
The human pauses for a moment, appearing to think back.
"If I remember correctly, it hadn't even killed anyone. It had just been a giant jaguar near a town. I naturally set out for the lair, since I couldn't convince the 'Lord' that I was not that weak."
The chair creaks as the human shifts his considerable weight of muscle.
"The lair was only an hour away. I decided to forgo stealth, since the brute was apparently to passive to actually do anything."
The human leans forward.
"So I turn a corner the the brute is right there on my left. So what do I do?"
The human spreads his hands and leans back in the chair.
"I reach into it's mouth and scratched the roof of the mouth. Skull shattered, brain torn," the human smiles, "And blood for the blood god."

[Xantalos]

There is a mighty crash, and the dwarf from before flies into the chair from off-camera. He is soaking wet. "Sorry about that," he says, drinking the water off his eyelids. "Armok was so kind to remind me that I neglected to share an experience. Well, let me think." He broods for a minute, pausing to shake himself off before saying, "Aha! I got one! My quest began in a nondescript dwarven town, can't remember the name. Budmobs, I think?" He shakes his head. "Anyway, I had gone a long time without killing something, and I was very bored. The world seemed flat and uninteresting. I thought that I had done all there was to do. I was about to retire in that dull little hamlet, but before that, I figured why not go ask the pitiful townsfolk what errand thay had for me to run. I was overconfident, you understand." The dwarf looks ashamed, although it's hard to tell because his face is almost completely covered with bone earrings. "It turns out they had a pretty big problem. A bronze collosus had been menacing their village. I figured, 'finally, a challenge' and set off into the jungle with naught more than what you see here. When I reached the shrine, I burst out of the undergrowth to find a towering metal man, animated by forces unknown, and with the ugliest face I have ever seen. Seriously. That thing topped bogeymen. " He shudders before continuing. "It let out a shriek of metal scraping on metal, and charged, declaring it's title. I dodged easily and smote it with my trusty <<copper pick>>, only to find the bronze skin cracked, not shattered. Picks are not too effective against giant metal humans. The colossus and I fought for 3 days and nights, and the world was starting to spin before my eyes. I had disabled it's arms and legs, but it still had it's body, and it flung itself at me again and again, bruising my bones as I deformed it with strikes from my pick. But as hard as I hammered at it, even though I smashed off it's hands and one toe," he pulls this out of his backpack and waves it around, "No matter how long I kept pounding at it, it would not let up. It just kept ramming me over and over again, until I was ready to pass out, which would have been my death. But then something happened. By this time an eye was hanging out, and as it flung itself at me once again, that eye flew off with enough velocity to cut off my arm. Instead, it cut off my left testicle." He glares at the camera. "I ain't showin' ye, ya perverts! Anyway, the loss of the appendage drove me into a rage! No longer was I tired; I hacked at the beast in a manic frenzy, until with one mighty blow, I smote the monster in two. Then all the energy left me, and I passed out where I stood. When I woke up, there were a dozen tigers pawing at my face to see if I was alive. After they died, I looked at where the colossus had been. In its place was a bronze statue, gleaming in the sunlight, of me striking down the colossus. Kind of ironic? Yes, but worth it. I gave it to the villagers, that they may ever remember my deed." The dwarf sighs with the memory. "Of course I didn't retire after that! Who could, knowing that I could do something like that again? Blood for the Blood God," the dwarf finishes, and jumps out of the chair. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to dive to the bottom of the ocean. Some sea serpent attacked me and I want it's bones, which are currently on the seabed." The dwarf clanks offstage, leaving the fire roaring and the chair trying to shake off the memory of the dwarf.

[Hanslanda]

A well-dressed, aristocratic appearing human settles into a chair, laying his bronze spear across the arms, and shifting so his armor sits more comfortably. He smiles, and the tips of two fangs just barely peek out before he begins speaking in an oddly accented voice, "I am Obur Gauntbreed. I became a vampire in the year 83 of this mighty world Planes of Wind. I was born an outsider, to unknown parents, of reportedly divine nature. Once I became a vampire, I realized that a normal life of skulking and secret murder was not going to work out for me. I was too noticeable." He grins lopsidedly. "So I became a hero. I hunted bandits, murderers, criminals, outlaws, highwaymen." His grin morphs into a grim, and toothy, parody of a smile. "You wouldn't believe what 'civilized' people will allow you to do in the name of justice. I supplemented my diet of evil men with an occasional slave, always coming in the depths of night, taking my victim and their inevitable corpse deep into the wilds, and dumping it where no one will ever find it."
His smile fades, and a note of sadness enters his voice, "Until I met her." He shakes his head, and goes on more forcefully, "She was a swordswomen in the service of the Dominant Empire, my adopted home. We traveled far, being the first to climb the peaks of nine mountains and four volcanoes. Then, we were ambushed one day. I was far too dangerous then to be touched by goblins, even thirty of them. But they crippled her, tearing motor nerves in her left leg and right hand, scarring her beautiful face, and then they gouged a vicious cut across her lovely neck."
Obur lowers his head, silent and tense. "I. Killed. Them. All. Every goblin in the world. I exterminated them. But first, I DISMANTLED those ambushers. I ripped them limb from limb, and the one who dealt the killing blow... Well, he lived, but I so thoroughly ruined every aspect of him, that the insane, brutalized torso I left behind bore no resemblance to the monster that stole my love. I haven't drank since she died. I hope one day, I might find a beast strong enough to end me, so I might see her again, but I have not yet met a worthy foe."

[Corai]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A young dwarf walks in with a silver battleaxe, waving as the audience cheers, a arrow strikes him in the knee, then in the head before he could scream or raise his shield, a kobold drops from the ceiling onto the corpse with a bow of copper, wearing the finest silk clothes, with one eye and a bleeding mark in his shirt in the right lung area.

"Why hello fair audience, another kill to my name." He said, pulling out a book. "I really shouldnt, but I shall." He said, waving his wrist, and the corpse shuddered and moved.

Two guards came in, but then stopped with two arrows in there heads.

"I shall now entertain you with stories of murder and the conquest of human empires!" He said, smiling and jumping up and down like a hyperactive child. "But first, my name is Kakis." he said, coldly.

"I was hatched in the kobold empire of Sabalaglukis, I cant recall my home, but I was indeed hatched in the world of Orid Rabin." he said, smiling. "We wiped out half the world, the other half were kobolds living in luxury."

"Before my time, we ravaged and murdered the countryside, elves are gone. We killed them all." He said, "Then we moved to the goblins, the cowards fled into dwarven lands, begging to be killed." "Then the humans, oh the humans. What fun they were! Even before me they were weak. We sacked them, we burned them. We wiped them out, I just mopped up survivors in the capital and counties."

"Oh, oh the dwarves were the MOST fun! We never got them, but they are SO fun to butcher! If only they lived in forests instead of mountains, then we could had reached them. But enough about history! Lets talk about me..."

"Well, as I said. I was born to Sabalaglukis, the kobold jewel of the world. I set out with nothing but a copper bow, 35 silver arrows, and my wits. I first visited the human capital of... cant recall the name, but when I went there, noone. No corpses either, I spent ages trying to find life. Noone, but one merchant trying to sell me whale meat." he said, "Tasted great." he added.

"Well, I got tired so I went off to the keep, there was three people, a Holyman, a legendary axeman, and a lawgiver. Well I asked the soldier for a mission, he looked at me with fear and told me there were dwarven bandits underground. So I went down, for three days I didnt come up. I slew dozens of bandits, humans, dwarves, a few goblins. Even a kobold turncoat." he said, smiling at the memory.

"When I came up, I reported succes, and the humans ran to a corner, accept for the axeman. He requested me to lead him to death and glory, so I brought him to a nearby necromancer tower that forever had plagued my people. Just me and my not-so-loyal companion, when we arrived, I saw what even I found horrid, three kobolds dead at the door, I remembered them from history, three great adventurers, accept for the one called Corai. He was a turncoat, I threw his corpse in a river." he said, a single gulp was heard.

"Well, me and my axeman friend charged the castle after giving the kobolds a proper burial, we fought off zombies like mad. There were so many, this guy could had made a entire castle with that many slaves! And so many children, or apprentices, whatever they were. I counted twelve."

"Well, I knew if I was going to wipe out the humans, I needed to ditch Urist mcaxelord." He said coldly. "So I went upstairs, slapped a zombie, after getting slightly mauled." He said, touching the empty eyesocket he had. "Anyway, I ran back down to him screaming for help, as he was on the ground, his leg getting ripped off by a zombie, who was biting it off." he said. "I ran outside, waited, and went back in sneakily. I watched him die slowly, ever so slowly as the zombies mauled him. After he was dead I snuck back up, killing necromancers with my bow as I went, unseen." he said.

"Then, I found it. The book of the necromancers, in the hand of one. I drew my arrow, trained it, and boom. It hit the fool in the stomach, he vomited and kneeled over, I peppered him with arrow after arrow as his zombies searched for the cause as he screamed. Eventully he died of suffocation, I ran and took the book." he said.


"But of course, the zombies saw me." He said. "But it didnt matter! I read it, and I took the corpse of the necromancer and used it as a mace until I realized how to reanimate." he said, smiling.

"And I did, he totaled his zombies, who I reanimated. Then his apprentices, all of them. The entire tower was mine in minutes."

"But of course, fate is cruel. I found a lair I just HAD to enter, a night troll was in there. I tried to run, but alas. Look at me, I died, but somehow I was reborn in here." he said sadly.



"Excuse me audience, I'll handle the vermin." The host said, getting up.

"WHAT? KOBOLDS NOT ALLOWED DWARF? I'LL EAT YOUR FACE." he said, raising his bow.

"OH, IM GONNA KILL YOU LIKE I KILL CATS." the dwarf responded.

-One of my older kobolds, I genned a great world, kobpocalypse. I just grabbed some kobold gibberish for the civ and stuff, I couldnt remember alot, so theres not alot of detail. I got pretty far only to die to a night troll.-

It looks long and epic, but its not. Its a kobold getting necro powers after killing bandits.

[Xantalos]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A young dwarf walks in with a silver battleaxe, waving as the audience cheers, a arrow strikes him in the knee, then in the head before he could scream or raise his shield, a kobold drops from the ceiling onto the corpse with a bow of copper, wearing the finest silk clothes, with one eye and a bleeding mark in his shirt in the right lung area.

"Why hello fair audience, another kill to my name." He said, pulling out a book. "I really shouldnt, but I shall." He said, waving his wrist, and the corpse shuddered and moved.

Two guards came in, but then stopped with two arrows in there heads.

"I shall now entertain you with stories of murder and the conquest of human empires!" He said, smiling and jumping up and down like a hyperactive child. "But first, my name is Kakis." he said, coldly.

"I was hatched in the kobold empire of Sabalaglukis, I cant recall my home, but I was indeed hatched in the world of Orid Rabin." he said, smiling. "We wiped out half the world, the other half were kobolds living in luxury."

"Before my time, we ravaged and murdered the countryside, elves are gone. We killed them all." He said, "Then we moved to the goblins, the cowards fled into dwarven lands, begging to be killed." "Then the humans, oh the humans. What fun they were! Even before me they were weak. We sacked them, we burned them. We wiped them out, I just mopped up survivors in the capital and counties."

"Oh, oh the dwarves were the MOST fun! We never got them, but they are SO fun to butcher! If only they lived in forests instead of mountains, then we could had reached them. But enough about history! Lets talk about me..."

"Well, as I said. I was born to Sabalaglukis, the kobold jewel of the world. I set out with nothing but a copper bow, 35 silver arrows, and my wits. I first visited the human capital of... cant recall the name, but when I went there, noone. No corpses either, I spent ages trying to find life. Noone, but one merchant trying to sell me whale meat." he said, "Tasted great." he added.

"Well, I got tired so I went off to the keep, there was three people, a Holyman, a legendary axeman, and a lawgiver. Well I asked the soldier for a mission, he looked at me with fear and told me there were dwarven bandits underground. So I went down, for three days I didnt come up. I slew dozens of bandits, humans, dwarves, a few goblins. Even a kobold turncoat." he said, smiling at the memory.

"When I came up, I reported succes, and the humans ran to a corner, accept for the axeman. He requested me to lead him to death and glory, so I brought him to a nearby necromancer tower that forever had plagued my people. Just me and my not-so-loyal companion, when we arrived, I saw what even I found horrid, three kobolds dead at the door, I remembered them from history, three great adventurers, accept for the one called Corai. He was a turncoat, I threw his corpse in a river." he said, a single gulp was heard.

"Well, me and my axeman friend charged the castle after giving the kobolds a proper burial, we fought off zombies like mad. There were so many, this guy could had made a entire castle with that many slaves! And so many children, or apprentices, whatever they were. I counted twelve."

"Well, I knew if I was going to wipe out the humans, I needed to ditch Urist mcaxelord." He said coldly. "So I went upstairs, slapped a zombie, after getting slightly mauled." He said, touching the empty eyesocket he had. "Anyway, I ran back down to him screaming for help, as he was on the ground, his leg getting ripped off by a zombie, who was biting it off." he said. "I ran outside, waited, and went back in sneakily. I watched him die slowly, ever so slowly as the zombies mauled him. After he was dead I snuck back up, killing necromancers with my bow as I went, unseen." he said.

"Then, I found it. The book of the necromancers, in the hand of one. I drew my arrow, trained it, and boom. It hit the fool in the stomach, he vomited and kneeled over, I peppered him with arrow after arrow as his zombies searched for the cause as he screamed. Eventully he died of suffocation, I ran and took the book." he said.


"But of course, the zombies saw me." He said. "But it didnt matter! I read it, and I took the corpse of the necromancer and used it as a mace until I realized how to reanimate." he said, smiling.

"And I did, he totaled his zombies, who I reanimated. Then his apprentices, all of them. The entire tower was mine in minutes."

"But of course, fate is cruel. I found a lair I just HAD to enter, a night troll was in there. I tried to run, but alas. Look at me, I died, but somehow I was reborn in here." he said sadly.



"Excuse me audience, I'll handle the vermin." The host said, getting up.

"WHAT? KOBOLDS NOT ALLOWED DWARF? I'LL EAT YOUR FACE." he said, raising his bow.

"OH, IM GONNA KILL YOU LIKE I KILL CATS." the dwarf responded.

-One of my older kobolds, I genned a great world, kobpocalypse. I just grabbed some kobold gibberish for the civ and stuff, I couldnt remember alot, so theres not alot of detail. I got pretty far only to die to a night troll.-

It looks long and epic, but its not. Its a kobold getting necro powers after killing bandits.

Doesn't matter if the event in itself isn't world-changing, just has to be embellished well so your stories can amuse almighty Armok. By the way, feel free to add modifications to the room in your posts. Also, I'm not sure if there IS a host, or if the room IS the host. If someone wants they can add a zombie host or something.

[Reudh]

Posting to watch, and also to later on write my own piece.

[loopylung]

Through the door strides a plain clothed Elf. She sits down, laying her silver axe on the floor and placing a spider-silk loincloth next to it.
"I'm sure to draw mocking glares, as this is generally referred to as a dwarven calling. However, I have seen some warfare in my time."
Her left arm is raised, showing only a stump just above the wrist.
"After walking the coast slaying were-kangaroos, I lost this to a giant lion. I managed to kill it, and as a sign of respect consumed its brain and heart. But still, the damage was done. Without my shield arm, I was effectively useless against crossbow bolts and arrows. I made the 'cowardly' decision to retire and perhaps pass my knowledge on to another adventurer. Word of my deeds had apparently spread through the forest, as six miles from the town I was to live in, I was beset by a band of 15 warriors. I could see in the lead goblin's eyes that he had no intention of allowing wounded prey to walk away freely. Faint with blood loss and still in pain from my missing appendage, I sheathed my axe and dropped to the ground. The bandits drew near, but before one could get close enough to land a blow, I threw a single grain of sand at their leader. It entered through his left eye and came out near his right ear, dropping him instantly. Using nothing but the sand in my hand, I managed to cripple 3 and kill 10. The five survivors ran, and I managed to get to the next town unmolested by any further attacks."

She smiles, a gleam in her eye.

"Maybe some other time I'll tell you how I managed to kill an entire town of humans with that loincloth."

[Silverbit]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A fairly young-seeming dwarf walks, or rather stumps his way onto the chair. He has one leg, and his right arm shows signs of nerve damage. He somehow clutches an ornate wooden crutch, a silver two-handed sword, and a copper dagger all in his left hand.
"Greetings folks," he says, from a mouth missing nearly all teeth, except the canines. "My name is Kurgan Copperaxe, and I am here to talk to you about... a vampire. He was a human, and he ruled their capital; for some reason sited in the bleakest, coldest, most inhospitable tundra known to man, elf or dwarf. He lived for many years; then I slew him. That would be the end of this tale... save for one thing. I slew him with a bite. (Authors' note-In fact I drunk his blood by choice, but anyway...). From that day forth I have known no respite from the... the... thirst." (Sounds of panic from audience). "In my early days as an undead, I had no control over my feeding. Whole hamlets were cleansed of their inhabitants. Then... came the bandits. I do not remember the name of their group, but I remember the injuries they gave me." (Here he holds up his stump and scarred right arm). "None of them survived. I wandered crippled for a while, then finaly happened upon a keep. They gave me a crutch, and armor. I seemed to see Armok before me, demanding I cease my blasphemous activity, and aid the poor beardless sods. Ever since, I have refrained from slaying the innocent, and prey only upon my own kind. The immortals. No vampire or necromancer is safe. Or rather, was. I slew countless abominations, masquerading as fishcleaners, draped in crowns of human nail and bone. As I journeyed past a dark tower, necromancers ambushed me. None walked away from that engagement but me. However, I finally decided to put an end to the HFS lawgiver of the Empire Of Picks (think that's the name). We dueled in his keep, but as I cleft him from head to cloven toe, his mortal slaves cut me down. However... One of them bit me..." (The dwarf stumps out, cackling insanely. He quickly becomes insubstantial and fades away...)

A long tale, but one with a twist. Is this the right sort of story for this topic? (btw, the first name is based of the 80's film Highlander.)

[Xantalos]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A fairly young-seeming dwarf walks, or rather stumps his way onto the chair. He has one leg, and his right arm shows signs of nerve damage. He somehow clutches an ornate wooden crutch, a silver two-handed sword, and a copper dagger all in his left hand.
"Greetings folks," he says, from a mouth missing nearly all teeth, except the canines. "My name is Kurgan Copperaxe, and I am here to talk to you about... a vampire. He was a human, and he ruled their capital; for some reason sited in the bleakest, coldest, most inhospitable tundra known to man, elf or dwarf. He lived for many years; then I slew him. That would be the end of this tale... save for one thing. I slew him with a bite. (Authors' note-In fact I drunk his blood by choice, but anyway...). From that day forth I have known no respite from the... the... thirst." (Sounds of panic from audience). "In my early days as an undead, I had no control over my feeding. Whole hamlets were cleansed of their inhabitants. Then... came the bandits. I do not remember the name of their group, but I remember the injuries they gave me." (Here he holds up his stump and scarred right arm). "None of them survived. I wandered crippled for a while, then finaly happened upon a keep. They gave me a crutch, and armor. I seemed to see Armok before me, demanding I cease my blasphemous activity, and aid the poor beardless sods. Ever since, I have refrained from slaying the innocent, and prey only upon my own kind. The immortals. No vampire or necromancer is safe. Or rather, was. I slew countless abominations, masquerading as fishcleaners, draped in crowns of human nail and bone. As I journeyed past a dark tower, necromancers ambushed me. None walked away from that engagement but me. However, I finally decided to put an end to the HFS lawgiver of the Empire Of Picks (think that's the name). We dueled in his keep, but as I cleft him from head to cloven toe, his mortal slaves cut me down. However... One of them bit me..." (The dwarf stumps out, cackling insanely. He quickly becomes insubstantial and fades away...)

A long tale, but one with a twist. Is this the right sort of story for this topic? (btw, the first name is based of the 80's film Highlander.)

Very good one! Nice twist there at the end.

[Powder Miner]

A human walks in, using his large, two-handed sword to walk with- he doesn't have a left foot. He sits down. "I am Powder Strength Swordsman. I didn't get very far, admittedly, but I made well sure I wouldn't go out easy. But anyway, to the story. I was a starting new adventurer, armed with a mighty sword of iron," he swings the sword in a lazy circle for effect "This thing. Talking to the people of my town, I heard that there was a bandit group or two and a night creature terrorizing the town. I couldn't have that. So I went along the river for navigation, to my destination pretty far away, the first bandit camp.

I had not expected at all the sturgeon that flew out of the water and ripped my foot off. And so I crawled away and almost died of blood loss, passing out. When I woke up, I was angry. I was missing a foot," Here he gets angry and smashes his fist on the table. "BUT I WASN'T ABOUT TO LET THAT STOP ME! I crawled, !@#$ did I crawl, slowly, gruelingly to the bandit camp. I got there, and sliced a crossbowman apart. I waded through the camp alone, killing Every. Single. Bandit that I came across. Soon it was empty. My rampage, that I hadn't even needed feet for, worked.

So I began crawling to my next destination. However, night fell, and a wave of bogeymen came. I took my sword, and though they pummeled me with blows and bruised me, I went on, with a drive. NOTHING WOULD STOP ME. NOT FISH, NOT BANDITS, AND NOT BOGEYMEN! I killed every one of them, and bruised and hurting, I pushed yet on to a night creature's lair. IT was a fearsome beast to be sure, and it was so much taller than my prone form. It went to strike, and I cut it apart. Coated in blood and having killed many targets, I was satisfied for now and went to sleep.

When I woke up, I knew it was time to go to my final target, despite the nonhealed broken bones I had sustained during the fight with the bogeymen. It was a second bandit camp, and once again they fell prey to my bloodstained sword. Many armed men, but they didn't survive. Leaving the limb-strewn camp, I started to crawl back to town. I needed to tell people of my victories, after all. However, a second bogeyman wave appeared. This one was large, and to severely wounded me, it seemed unending. I knew I was going to die BUT I WASN'T GOING TO DIE EASILY! So I fought! The bogeymen began to fall, but it my wounded state my lungs were easy prey.

But it didn't save most of them, because as I died, I killed half of them. half of the bogeymen.

And this was all without a foot."
The human walks off, but you can swear he fades away a step from the door.

[Xantalos]

A human walks in. He's relatively unremarkable, apart from the massive jagged scars on his cheeks. He has long scraggly hair, a long nose, and sunken eyes dancing with the fire of madness. He sits down in the chair with the stealthy ease of a predator. "Well hello there," he croons, looking directly at you. "What a nice audience! They didn't tell me I'd be getting one," he purrs, an unnaturally large grin adorning his face. "You wanna know how I got these scars?", he asks you, in the type of tone that tells you that he'll tell you even if you say nothing. "It all started out as an adventurer. I had been yearning for a chance to make a name for myself in the world, but more importantly, to spread smiles all around! I love smiling, can't you tell? Anyway, I had traveled to a village a fair bit away from my home, and I asked if there was anything I could do for them. They told me to go kill someone! Can you imagine! Me, a murderer?" He shakes his head at the thought. "But I was told that they were bringing unhappiness to this village. So I decided, what tha heck, I might as well try to talk them out of whatever they were doing. So I travelled to their camp, and approached their leader, who all of a sudden, called out 'Prepare to die!' How rude. I couldn't kill them, as I would die if I remained there. So I went back to this one castle I passed on the way to the village, and invited some soldiers to come along with me. Than I went back to the bandit camp and let my mercenaries do their work. No one survived except me, oddly enough. So I went back and reported my 'success', and they seesed impressed, but still not smiling. So I asked them what else I could do to make them happy. You know where it goes from there. They'd tell me to kill something, I'd hire someone else to do it, but that stopped when I realized something: these people that I fought wanted to die. They charged into battle against me, never smiling until they were dead. So I obliged them. Eventually, I got noticed among the nobility. They seemed unbearably grim, so I asked them, 'What can I do to make you smile?' And they said, "Kill this dragon.' So I travelled to the lair of the beast, the last dragon in the world, to kill ti for a smile. When the deed was donw, and I'd informed the nobles of my victory, they still stayed grim. 'You may go now,' they said. Imagine! All I wanted to do was make them smile. So I asked them a question. 'Why so serious?' He didn't respond, so I asked again. "Why so serious?" He turned to me, and I guess I must have been moving towards him, because he gasped and backed away." The man stands up from the chair and slowly begins walking towards you. "I'd worked so hard to get them to smile, but they weren't doing it." A knife flickers into the man's hand. "I just wanted to make him smile. So I asked again: 'Why so serious?' He tripped over something and fell backward. I crouched over him, and decided that if he wasn't going to smile on his own, then I'd make him smile." He's closer now, the knife flicking back and forth between his hands. "So I took the knife..." He holds the knife up... "And I asked again, 'WHY SO SERIOUS?!'" He's shouting now, but he doesn't seem to notice. "Let's put a smile on that face..." He reaches up to you, pulls you through the wall, holds the knife up to your cheek. "And then," he giggles, "I made him a happy face. On his face! Then I realized I was frowning. Now that wouldn't do. So I took the knife...and now I'm always smiling!" He bursts out in laughter, cradling your terrified head in his lap like it's a dog. He abruptly ceases his laughter and looks to you, confused. "Why so serious?"

[exolyx]

A man walks in, though he has less scars than other here, his main feature is his eyepatch, and his lame left middle finger. He clutches in his left hand a blood rusted mace, scraps of cloth hanging from all over his body with glints of metal barely visible, he begins to speak. "I have but one story to share with you all." His voice clear, but rough. "As I had been wandering the wilds for several days, gathering what i could of the animals, taking what i came across and selling it in the nearby towns. Eventually I had quite some valuable armor in my possession. I finally decided to put myself to the test, willing to take out anything in order to maintain the tranquility of the area I had lived for so long. I was tasked to take out the night creature that had bothered the town for so long, it eventually led to creating more of its kind, yet all living in one large cave at the side of a mountain. We knew that they could no longer kidnap villagers, only to either transform them in their freakish rituals, or flat out murder them. I headed over to the lair, but the bandit overlord Ip Nightsword had other plans. He was just travelling through the area, a lone adventurer in valuable armor was a perfect robbery. What he didn't plan, was the fight I gave back to him. the battle started before I knew it. A swordsman rushed up to me, I caved in his skull after I took out his leg. They knew I meant business, but attacked anyway, because they did too. Time passed as the battle waged on, I was blocking arrows very well, until I slipped up. One arrow came and lodged directly in one eye. The leader Ip then mockingly asked me 'had enough?' as he stomped on my hand, crushing my finger. I proceeded to pull out the arrow and jam it in his neck.
The battle ended shortly after that, after beating half of the them, the 4 or so bandits fled into the woods. My encounters with them are another story, as well as the night creatures. That though, is my crowning moment. Good day to you all."