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[Armok]

> Assume that there is an intruder he mistook for a guest.

[Karnewarrior]

I spin around, and a familiar figure stands in the doorway.

"Assassin!"

"Necromancer. Would you please stop getting in my way?! Every mission I do, you're there!" She levels a crossbow at my head. "Who are you working for? Theives guild? Pit Lord?"

"I'm not working for anyone!"

"That's BULLSHIT!" she screeches. "You're too well placed to be an accident, so don't try to sell me that horsecrap! You're a Necromancer! Why the HELL should I trust you?"

"Why are you here?"

"DO I LOOK LIKE THE ONE BEING QUESTIONED? SHUT THE F-" Something snapped and she fell over.

"Shall I put her in the dungeon, sir?" asked Thane softly.

"Please do. Thank you."

"My pleasure, sir."

"Thane, where is the groundskeeper? Maybe he could give me that tour?"

"Very well, sir, he's currently dusting out the Dining Hall, to prepare for dinner. if you wish, you may ask him to give you a tour. Do you wish the girl tortured?"

"No."

"Very well. I shall give her a cel and leave her to be interrogated or executed at your leisure."

Well. What a fine way to treat a guest. I guess I cold go take a tour, or try to find rooms on my own, or go speak with Thane and the Assassin in the dungeon. I'm certain they'll all wait for me, so there's no pressure anymore.

I also spread my forces out to watch the gates and warn me of any more intruders.

[RAM]

As we appear to be the only person here in a position to be assassinated, and we didn't know ourselves that we would be here until recently, it would be good to find out what the assassin's mission was...

But lets take the tour, we do need to know our way around...

[fergus]

Take the tour

[kopout]

Take the tour

Deffinetly, afterwards however we should ask our guest some questions.

[RAM]

Take the tour

Deffinetly, afterwards however we should ask our guest some questions.

[Karnewarrior]

I head off to meet the groundskeep-

"EVENIN' GUBNER I'M JACK, GROONDSKEEPER AND BESTEST DAMN ZOMBEE YER GUNNA EVER MEAT."

 He keeps switching accents with such rapidity I can hardly tell what he's saying. After I parse his speech I reply, "Are you the one who's giving me the tour?"

"YEPPERS, SIRRAH AND AH'M GONNA TELL YOU THAT THIS HERE'S A DINININININ' HALL." He smiles proudly.

"Wonderful?"

"PLEASE EAT YER VITTLES HERE AN' NOT INNA UDDER PLACES LIKE... UH... THE RIBLALY"

"The what?"

"THE LIBWAWY!"

"Come again?"

"LIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEE.... BRRRAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR..... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"I'm having difficulty understanding you."

"Librarificary." He says very quietly.

"You mean the Library?"

"YES! MY GOG YOU MUST BE THE DUMBEST SONOVAGUN DONE EVER DONE WAKKA LAKKA'D IN UP IN HERE AND DONE BECOME THE KING O' DEADIFIED FOLK."

"Did... Did youjust call me stupid?"

"NAWW, I SAID YOU'S GOT GOOD TEEF."

I have a terrible feeling this tours going to take a long, long time.

[Dragor23]

Oh boy, i like this zombie.

[RAM]

Review known necromantic options concerning autonomous zombies.

[Karnewarrior]

He looks like a "fresh" zombie that was stored in some sort of magic stasis for far too long, resulting in somthing completely unique and insane. Regardless, the way he looks at me bespeaks total and complete devotion.

It's kind of creepy.

[RAM]

Follow the zombie and try to deduce the sort of behaviour that it either respects or finds wanting.

[Karnewarrior]

Jack takes me to a dark room, full of nooks and crannies.

"THIS BE THE CRYPT. GOES AND GENERATIFICATES CORPSES EVERY FEW DAYS."

"How? Are we murdering people?!"

"NAW, GOES BY MAGIC. FRESH ONES, SKELETONS, YOU'N SET IT WITH THIS BUTTONS HERE." Jack's accent is getting more stable, but he's not getting any quieter.

He leads me to a set of buttons on the wall, each marked with a rune.

"Which is which type?"

"DUNNO, SIR, JUST GONE AND FORGOT UP IN HERE."

There are 10 buttons, from left to right. Each is marked with a different rune. It looks like the last batch of corpses was a batch of ancient zombies.

>Press one?

[fergus]

Press the first one

[RAM]

Press the button whose rune looks most like a cat.

[Dragor23]

Press the button whose rune looks most like a cat.