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[Sorcerer Kail]

Follow, as I feel bad about more stalking.

[Karnewarrior]

I decide to follow and perhaps check the house later.

She takes a winding route through the city, stopping by several shops to chat amicably with the shop-owners about nothing in particular. She's lived here for a while, it seems, and knows most of the town by name. They seem to like her, and I can't tell if they're unaware of who she is or if I'm simply mistaken.

Finally she wanders into an alleyway behind the smithy. It's dark and damp, and the bones of an unfortunate rat lie bleached by one cobblestone wall. She stands, contemplating the back wall as if there was a secret door, feeling the cracks between the bricks. I creep up behind her, as close as I dare.

Suddenly she spins around, knife in hand. She lurches forward, jabbing the blade towards my gut. I twist out of the way just in time and spin my staff into combat position as she comes in low with the dagger. I sweep it aside and jab the bottom of my staff at her knee, but she sidesteps nimbly and launches into a flurry of attacks. I spin my staff in a whirlwind, picking off her attacks, trying to get her to tire out and remove the advantage of surprise.

She steps back and pulls a crossbow from her satchel, a tiny hand-held, dwarven. It clicks and I have to dodge the bolt as it whizzes by. I try to knock the bow from her hand but she knocks my staff aside with the dagger, launching another bolt as she does so. She steps inside the range of her crossbow for a moment, and I press the advantage, knocking her hips with my staff to cause as much pain as possible. She grimaces but stays upright, stepping even closer so I can't get a good hit on her with my staff.

But she doesn't realize I'm a wizard. Even if I specialize in Necromancy, I can still use a basic Stun cantrip, and she staggers slightly. But magical stuns lack effect, so I pull out my most powerful stunner.

I kiss her on the lips.

in her shock, I manage to get my staff around her neck. She's now completely at my mercy. Luckily, unlike some other apprentices I knew, I have quite a bit of that.

But what should I ask her?

[RAM]

"Why did you attack me?"

P.S.
 "Did you think that you could get away with it?" would probably provide more information, but is a tad too manipulative for my tastes...

[killerhellhound]

and ask why the poison berries as well
p.s.
"Did you think that you could get away with it?" first

[Sorcerer Kail]

Its pretty obvious that we've been seen by her while sneaking, so she decided to attack unwanted spy. Anyway I would do the same thing as killerhellhound.

[Ghazkull]

"If i were you i wouldn't eat those berries and i would highly appreciate it if you could not point that dagger at my groin...

[Karnewarrior]

"Did you think that you could get away with it?"

"Get away with what, exactly?" She asks sweetly, smiling.

"If i were you i wouldn't eat those berries and i would highly appreciate it if you could not point that dagger at my groin..." She drops the dagger and lifts her hands.

"So what now, big boy? Robbery, murder, rape? What is to be my fate?"

"Interrogation. What were the berries for?"

"Aww, I thought you knew that already? Is someone not very good at- hgruk" She sputters as I draw my staff in closer. I'm breathng almost right down her ear as I growl.

"Speak, wench, and you may get out of this mostly alive."

"Mostly?"

"Haven't you heard? I'm a Necromancer. Now you talk, or I kill you and speak with your bones!"

I'm close enough to feel her get scared. Her heart races against my chest and she likcs her lips rapidly.

"Y-you wouldn't!" Correct.

"I would." Incorrect. But I'm not going to tell her that.

She takes a deep breath. "I'm an assassin. I'm sent to kill the mayor of the town. He's been skipping rent for some thug. Thug paid me good money, several gold coins for a job that's so simple. I went to go pick some berries, made a pie, going to deliver it to thank him for buying me that cottage. It's amazxing what a man will do if you show a bit of leg. When he eats it his blood will-"

"I know what the berries do. You're an assassin... Any relation to the guilds?"

"Blackcloaks. I joined a few years ago. They'll be mad if you kill me! I'm good money!" Pah. Like the Blackcloaks would be concerned. They're hardly a guild, it's more one assassin coercing the rest into submission. They're not too shabby though, at what they do, and they provided corpses for my master. He wasn't a good man.

"Thank you for the information."

"N-no problem?"

I let go of her and she darts a few feet away, out of my range. She rubs her throat and looks at me like a mouse eyeing a cat.

"You're letting me go?"

"Not quite. I'm hungry, do you want to have dinner?" I am a smooth criminal.

She stares blankly for a moment. "What?"

"Dinner. It's dinnertime, you've failed your contract since the mayor isn't here this week, and I'm paying."

"...What?!"

"Me. You. We go out. Get to know one another."

"You were just holding me hostage and threatening me with zombification and now you want me to date you?" She chokes out.

"Yes."

"Are you insane?!"

"No, I'm Lenen. Who're you?"

"The girl you just beat and kidnapped, you madman!"

"I don't think name calling is condusive to a happy relationship."

"A Happ- You're a bloody necromancer! You don't even have relationships!" That stung. We do too, you conniving witch. It's just that nobody wants to keep one when you smell like formaldahyde and stale potato. It's a necromancer thing, you wouldn't get it.

"Maybe we can start." I am the king of pickup lines.

"Maybe I can beat your head in with a shovel!"

"I'd probably just come back." Not without a Soul Jar I wouldn't, and that'd make me a lich. Liches don't have the.. er, equipment for a relationship. No flesh you see.

She looks at me for a few moments. "You're paying?"

Upper Class would impress her, but bankrupt me. Without some serious graverobbing I'd have to start foraging, which would be a heavy price to pay, even if I do impress her and finally get a- I mean... ahem. Another girlfriend.

Middle Class would be expensive, but not unbearably so. It wouldn't probably impress her, but I doubt she's accustomed to much higher. She may be more comfortable here.

Lower Class would be cheap. I doubt she'd think highly of me in a dingy bar, but the saved money could buy some nice toys or a day at the fair, which I think is in town. I'd have to rely on my own swave-ness to get her to like me on this path. Then again, I could wear my everyday robes without feeling like a moron.

Or, I could take her back to the lean-to for a little meal of venison. Talk about roughing it! At least it'd be free, and the meals I cook aren't too bad. Alchemy transfers well into cooking, so I may be able to impress her there. My shabby "home" not so much. I think knowing how powerless I am may make her less intimidated, for good or ill.

[joemoben]

I vote middle class. Taking her home would let her know where we live, so she could alert the authorities that there is a necromancer outside of town, and lower class wouldn't be impressive, and upper would be expensive. so, Middle

[Hubris Incalculable]

Middle

[Torknick]

Upper

[Sorcerer Kail]

Middle

[Trapezohedron]

 /--- High class
/
-------> {Middle class}
   \
    \----- Low class

[Chink]

Middle class.

[Armok]

> lean-to

[Karnewarrior]

 Middle Class it is.

  I take her to a neat little pub under the city "wall", which is closer to a fence. There's a little table outside, and we awkwardly pull up seats and wait for the serving girl to get to us.

  I, Lenen, Necromancer and Magi, King of pickup lines, am not good at smalltalk.

  "So what do you do?"

  She glances up, hair over one eye. "Kill people." Half a minute of awkwards silence.

  "I could use someone like that." I joke. She gives me a death glare.

  Come on Lenen, think! How do I get this beautiful and dangerous woman to like me, if not enough to date me than at least enough to not kill me!

  >_