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Author Topic: so i have over 40 children and 30 adults  (Read 5417 times)

Vanzetti

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Re: so i have over 40 children and 30 adults
« Reply #15 on: May 09, 2012, 11:44:03 am »

Magma Showers: The only method of cleaning a dwarven beard.

Dwarf Fortress: because Auschwitz was boring.

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Hanslanda

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Re: so i have over 40 children and 30 adults
« Reply #16 on: May 09, 2012, 11:50:58 am »

My username resembles that remark. 
<.<
>.>

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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

oven_baked

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Re: so i have over 40 children and 30 adults
« Reply #17 on: May 09, 2012, 12:09:47 pm »

Oh yeah, if you are going to kill children do it based on appearance; after all Everyone knows dwarfs with brown beards are chronic thieves and those with black beards are even more idiotic than most!
So you might as well, as you will kill them anyway, do it based on Science and dwarfen genetics!
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We just need to get Toady to embed a Lisp interpreter into DF.  Learning lambda calculus in order to play the game wouldn't make DF's learning curve much steeper.

PTTG??

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Re: so i have over 40 children and 30 adults
« Reply #18 on: May 09, 2012, 01:01:31 pm »

The fatter a dwarf is, the more built-in armor he has. Once a year, execute all your dwarves that are thinner than the fortress average.

In a few generations, your fort will consist of bearded, invulnerable spheres.
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A thousand million pool balls made from precious metals, covered in beef stock.

NW_Kohaku

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Re: so i have over 40 children and 30 adults
« Reply #19 on: May 09, 2012, 01:12:33 pm »

In that case, you need to be able to mandate the use of fat or tallow for deep-fat-frying all foods in the fortress.  It's the only way to cure the inobesity epidemic!
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Personally, I like [DF] because after climbing the damned learning cliff, I'm too elitist to consider not liking it.
"And no Frankenstein-esque body part stitching?"
"Not yet"

Improved Farming
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Hanslanda

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Re: so i have over 40 children and 30 adults
« Reply #20 on: May 09, 2012, 03:04:05 pm »

This is a masterfully made topic.  It is made of hilarious.  It is encircled with hanging rings of awesome, and menaces with spikes of Eugenics.  On this topic is an image of a shower and child.  The shower is striking a menacing pose.  The child is making a plaintive gesture.

Have we gone entirely too far yet?
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

Urist McDwarfFortress

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Re: so i have over 40 children and 30 adults
« Reply #21 on: May 09, 2012, 03:22:02 pm »

Have we gone entirely too far yet?
Oh... is that still possible to do here?
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Sorry, for a moment there I forgot we were all psychopaths.
Someone who has random urges to make mog juice isn't exactly going to care about the cost effectiveness of obtaining it.

Hanslanda

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Re: so i have over 40 children and 30 adults
« Reply #22 on: May 09, 2012, 03:30:39 pm »

Apparently not. Its simultaneously liberating and horrifying, like beating up an old lady with her grand child while naked.

Oh...  That's... That's actually a game mechanic here...  Now I understand.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

Urist McDwarfFortress

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Re: so i have over 40 children and 30 adults
« Reply #23 on: May 09, 2012, 03:37:20 pm »

Running around naked snatching up old women's grandchildren and then beating said old women using said grandchild is now on my list of things to do in adventure mode.
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Sorry, for a moment there I forgot we were all psychopaths.
Someone who has random urges to make mog juice isn't exactly going to care about the cost effectiveness of obtaining it.

daveralph1234

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Re: so i have over 40 children and 30 adults
« Reply #24 on: May 09, 2012, 03:46:57 pm »

Apparently not. Its simultaneously liberating and horrifying, like beating up an old lady with her grand child while naked.

Oh...  That's... That's actually a game mechanic here...  Now I understand.

Thats not the proublem, Toady seems to be fine with our gore, abuse and general inhumanity. It's just Nazi Germany referances that get topics locked. So please stop that.

Hanslanda

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Re: so i have over 40 children and 30 adults
« Reply #25 on: May 09, 2012, 04:20:00 pm »

Stopping that right now, and I apologize. And Toady has standards, just check the value for mermaid bones.  He's pretty adroit at curbing our excess.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

tolkafox

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Re: so i have over 40 children and 30 adults
« Reply #26 on: May 11, 2012, 01:17:39 am »

Create a 1x1 pasture zone. Pen all 40 children in it. By the time they grow up, they should be legendary fighters.

...children fight when they're pastured together, right?
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It was a miracle of rare device, A sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice!

Mr S

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Re: so i have over 40 children and 30 adults
« Reply #27 on: May 11, 2012, 07:38:23 am »

Assign dwarves to a burrow, not a pasture.

Better make sure they have food and booze else they'll starve/dehydrate.

Oh, and have access to clothing.

Maybe some legendary decorations to admire.

All in all, I can see a tantrum spiral happening here.  Please, try.
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NW_Kohaku

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Re: so i have over 40 children and 30 adults
« Reply #28 on: May 11, 2012, 09:04:12 am »

Create a 1x1 pasture zone. Pen all 40 children in it. By the time they grow up, they should be legendary fighters.

...children fight when they're pastured together, right?

No, just animals, so you have to pasture some wardogs in there with them. 

It works better with a pit and a locked door for an exit.  Then you can dump food and stuff down there to them.
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Personally, I like [DF] because after climbing the damned learning cliff, I'm too elitist to consider not liking it.
"And no Frankenstein-esque body part stitching?"
"Not yet"

Improved Farming
Class Warfare

Niyazov

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Re: so i have over 40 children and 30 adults
« Reply #29 on: May 11, 2012, 02:10:34 pm »

Well if you keep the children and allow them to grow into adults many will have legendary skills due to strange moods and your ratio of children vs adults.

Yeah, you'll have all the legendary stonecrafters, woodcrafters and bonecrafters you'd ever need.



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