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Author Topic: That one guy  (Read 7045 times)

jimbobobby

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  • Ally of turtles.
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Re: That one guy
« Reply #15 on: May 06, 2012, 08:15:27 pm »
"My name?" you say. The General looks a little annoyed, he says "Well who else am I speaking to?" He is obviously speaking to you, with a deep breath you say "My name... is uhh... none of your business so shut up before I punch you in the throat." General Edwards looks at you in fear "Oh.. Okay, well you have a mission. There's been an infection in the main base, we need soldiers to 'cleanse' everyone of this infection." At this point you realize he has no facial hair. Clearly he is an imposter, any militant man of such a high status should have a Tom Selleck mustache at the very least. What now? The 'General is not really the General and there's an infection which might just be a trap.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Equipment:
Pistol
Google Nexus
iPhone 4s
Exoskeleton (Worn)
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When I was younger, I was a baby.
The power of an Eskimo isn't really something you should just forget about, they can cut a hole in your ice and catch a fish in minutes.

bitesh

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Re: That one guy
« Reply #16 on: May 06, 2012, 08:21:22 pm »
Yeah, the hint should've really been no real general would take that kind of insubordination. Kick him in the nuts... Or, you know, coerce him into blowing his cover (possibly by kicking him in the nuts until he confesses... but I'm open to other methods). He's clearly a wuss.
Logged
It only takes a second to show someone how you feel about them. The police call it "indecent exposure", but whatever.
Quote from: I-Ching
You lose your efficacious tortoise, and look at me till your jaw falls down.

Furtuka

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Re: That one guy
« Reply #17 on: May 06, 2012, 08:31:22 pm »
Force him to eat your iphone
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It's FEF, not FEOF

Scelly9

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Re: That one guy
« Reply #18 on: May 06, 2012, 08:49:59 pm »
Quote from: bitesh on May 06, 2012, 08:21:22 pm
Coerce him into blowing his cover (by kicking him in the nuts until he confesses).
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Quote from: blackmagechill on June 08, 2012, 05:08:32 pm
You taste the jug! It is ceramic.
Quote from: Loud Whispers
SUPPORT THE COMMUNIST GAY MOVEMENT!

jimbobobby

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Re: That one guy
« Reply #19 on: May 06, 2012, 09:11:02 pm »
You watch his hairless face while he speaks, you pull the iPhone out your pocket and kick the bitch in the nuts repeatedly. Whilst doing so you pry his mouth open and shove the iPhone down his throat, it gets jammed in his throat and he starts to cry. Possibly because his nuts are now a bloody pulp but possibly because he has a phone in his mouth. You scream "Admit it! Admit you aren't a General! Do it now before I rape your soul!" "BAFKJBJBGLANCHAUKL!!!" "I knew it!" At that very moment in time, your Nexus rings. Its an unknown number. Your call son
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Equipment:
Pistol
Google Nexus
iPhone 4s (Force-feeding)
Exoskeleton (Worn)
Logged
When I was younger, I was a baby.
The power of an Eskimo isn't really something you should just forget about, they can cut a hole in your ice and catch a fish in minutes.

bitesh

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  • Remember, FTW is WTF spelled backwards.
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Re: That one guy
« Reply #20 on: May 06, 2012, 09:13:43 pm »
Sit on the guy (so he doesn't escape), while answering phone.
Logged
It only takes a second to show someone how you feel about them. The police call it "indecent exposure", but whatever.
Quote from: I-Ching
You lose your efficacious tortoise, and look at me till your jaw falls down.

Scelly9

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  • That crazy long-haired queer liberal communist
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Re: That one guy
« Reply #21 on: May 06, 2012, 09:20:39 pm »
BAHAHAHAHAA
Nice job so far, hilarity is good to keep a game going.
Quote from: bitesh on May 06, 2012, 09:13:43 pm
Sit on the guy (so he doesn't escape), while answering phone.
+1
Logged
Quote from: blackmagechill on June 08, 2012, 05:08:32 pm
You taste the jug! It is ceramic.
Quote from: Loud Whispers
SUPPORT THE COMMUNIST GAY MOVEMENT!

bombzero

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Re: That one guy
« Reply #22 on: May 06, 2012, 09:24:00 pm »
after sitting on the guy and answering the phone, investigate infection and terminate everybody found, its obviously a real infection created to trap you.
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jimbobobby

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Re: That one guy
« Reply #23 on: May 06, 2012, 09:53:06 pm »
You force the man who shall now be referred to as Bob on the floor and have a seat upon his rather fat ass (stomach). You answer your phone and say "Hello this is me speaking?" The stranger replies "Bonjour monsieur! Je m'appelle Amillé! Vousez vous couché avec moi?" Puzzled, you exclaim "Stop these blasphemous insults! I am a well respected gentleman and I shall not be offended by a whore!" Bob starts struggling and moving causing you to almost fall off him. "HAKJSDKJBHJFABDHJ" To which you begin to ponder 'How did I get here? I was in bed naked and now I'm sitting on a man, what the hell is wrong with the world these days' The Russian speaking lady says "Bonjour? Bonjour? Merde!" After being traumatized by this phone call you decide its time to check out the infection. You stand up and leave Bob lying with a phone stuck in his throat and walk to the east where you assume the base is at. After a 4 hour walk you get to a building with a sign that says 'Main base' You are unsure whether this is the right place so you check it out. About 5 ft forward a huge door opens with an automatic noise. You walk through and notice something move, a small penis maybe? A second later it runs in front of you and stops, the penis monster stares at you with its penis-like eyes and sprays a white gooey substance at you. It only reaches a few ft from its position but stinks like a bitch. What ye planning ye scurvy dog?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Equipment:
Pistol
Google Nexus
iPhone 4s (Force-feeding)
Exoskeleton (Worn)
Logged
When I was younger, I was a baby.
The power of an Eskimo isn't really something you should just forget about, they can cut a hole in your ice and catch a fish in minutes.

Furtuka

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Re: That one guy
« Reply #24 on: May 06, 2012, 10:04:09 pm »
Shoot it and RUN AWAY!!!!
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It's FEF, not FEOF

bitesh

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Re: That one guy
« Reply #25 on: May 06, 2012, 10:06:21 pm »
Well, if you stand there, you'll probably cease to be a virgin... so, I don't know. Maybe that's not the way to go, though. The first time should be magical and all that shit...

Empty a clip in it, I guess. And keep your distance, yeah...
Logged
It only takes a second to show someone how you feel about them. The police call it "indecent exposure", but whatever.
Quote from: I-Ching
You lose your efficacious tortoise, and look at me till your jaw falls down.

Scelly9

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  • That crazy long-haired queer liberal communist
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Re: That one guy
« Reply #26 on: May 06, 2012, 10:08:21 pm »
Logged
Quote from: blackmagechill on June 08, 2012, 05:08:32 pm
You taste the jug! It is ceramic.
Quote from: Loud Whispers
SUPPORT THE COMMUNIST GAY MOVEMENT!

bombzero

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Re: That one guy
« Reply #27 on: May 07, 2012, 12:59:43 am »
KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!
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King DZA

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Re: That one guy
« Reply #28 on: May 07, 2012, 01:05:39 am »
Step on it.
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jimbobobby

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Re: That one guy
« Reply #29 on: May 08, 2012, 04:40:04 pm »
In a blind rage you stomp that bitch and shoot it about 7 times before the gun starts clicking, you do so while screaming your lungs out. After a second it stops moving and a dark green liquid starts oozing out it's wounds, you take a match from your pocket and light it only to flick it upon the dead penis. You back away slowly and run like Usain Bolt with no knees, after 2 minutes of running from a penis you slow your pace. Possibly because you're exhausted but possibly because you're lost, you find yourself in a large city but unfortunately you're in the dangerous area. To the right you see a woman getting mugged and attacked and to the left you see an old man climbing up an unsteady ladder. Your call children.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Equipment:
Pistol
Google Nexus
Exoskeleton (worn)
Logged
When I was younger, I was a baby.
The power of an Eskimo isn't really something you should just forget about, they can cut a hole in your ice and catch a fish in minutes.
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