Looks like no turn before the session?
Wrong
Kestrel has made rental Smartcars available to anyone without a vehicle for the day out on the town...Adrian:Before leaving in the morning you manage to catch Palrour. The alchemist is prepared to head to San Deigo via river and take over Rico’s vineyard. You help the man load the bucket of blood onto his boat before departing. He promises to have enough food additive to keep your wife eating solids for several years delivered to the house by the time you get back from your job tomorrow. (-Low Quality Blood)
You drive Daintyroot across town to Dr. Macaw’s office and drop the elf off for her appointment. The plaza where Macaw works is full of seeding looking old magic shops. They are fun to explore but the employees are no help. Some deny any magical involvement despite the fact half the items in their shop sets off your magic detector, while the rest laugh at you for being a rookie mage from a nicer part of town.
By the time Daintyroot is finished you are quite fed up with the shops, but the wife insists on checking some of them out, so you indulge her. With an elf on your arm the shopkeepers are much more forthcoming about their products. At a magical tattoo shop the owner offers to ink you up with some enchanted marks for 50000 USD. After explaining to Daintyroot exactly how much money that is, the delicate looking elf approaches the rugged and burly owner and offers him a challege: If he can beat her at arm wrestling, she will give him a kiss. If Daintyroot wins however she gets to use his needles and ink to give you an enchanted tattoo. The man accepts...
Several minutes and one broken arm later you find yourself lying face down and pantless on a table as Daintyroot tattoos your left buttcheek. It takes her only a few miscues to master the modern tattoo needle, and after a painful hour and a half you are done. (+1 Enchanted Cave Dragon Tattoo [hidden]. You are now immune to inhaled poison, corrosion effects, and decay effects. You can now see in the dark.)
1d80-3 = 76 - 3 = 73Over lunch Dai summarizes her meeting with the doctor. It would seem that your wife's strain of vampirism is often accompanied by mental conditions and violent compulsions. Regular feeding and an active sex life can go along way towards keeping her sanity intact, and drugs exist should she begin to get out of hand. Macaw mentioned that to encourage proper development Daintyroot should have a live feeding once every two months or so. You have a feeling that you should be able to find enough victims for her at work. On the brightside Daintyroot anounces that she should have no problems mastering her Vampiric Powers: Deep Elven bodies adapt to undeath with much less difficulty than many other races and tapping into her vampire abilities is very similar in practice to utilizing the gifts of her draconic heritage.
After lunch you give Mira Trinity a call. Mira informs you that she would love to meet both you and Dai, and invites you over too The Clocktower, a vampire social club and lodge in town. The Clocktower turns out to be a condo tower inhabited almost entirely by vampires. The top two stories consist of a 24/7 Mortal Friendly vampire club. A short lady with a green mohawk who appear to be in her late teens or early 20s introduces herself as Mira and gets you both drinks. She points out there is a blood additive in the booze, but you don’t taste it.
You and Dai find the vampire crowd to be quite friendly. Everybody in the club comes up and introduces themselves at some point, and you end up telling the story of how you met Daintyroot (and how she became a vampire) more times than you can count.
You wake up in your bed. It is morning and your wife is at your side. You have no idea how you got home and yesterday afternoon/night is a blur. You do however find in your pockets a list of contact information and notes on what you can only assume to be members of the vampire comunity.
Jordan Nelis: A writer for the vampire communities’ monthly peiodical. He wants to wants to interview you two for their ‘Still a Better Love Story than Twilight’ feature.
Willian Lord: A skilled big game hunter who has offered to take you out for some guy time and to help you with your magical equine problem.
Bloodstone: A truly ancient vampire and a cornerstone of the LA vampire community. Bloodstone would like to throw a banquet to see that the pair of you are officially married and inducted into the local community as a couple.
Ariel:You wake up early, wolf down breakfast, and hop your Jetski to hell before the construction crew can arrive. At the Styx Crossing you find that the shopkeeper is female again. You purchase a Satan’s Rifle and head into Tartarus. (+1 Satan’s Rifle, -41 ID)
While hiking up to the portal you have a brief discussion with Frankie who informs you that Satan isn’t an individual demon or deity, but a rank, like a king or a president. He doubts that the gun counts as a blessed item of any sort.
The gatekeeper tries to give you trouble, but as soon as you mention that you are going to visit the Yellow Lich he shuts up and lets you pass.
Entering the great graveyard of Tartarus you eventually find a bench that isn’t haunted or covered in nasty thorns, and sit down to read. Sadly the Liches writing is literally chicken scratch, and between this poor handwriting and the anticipation surrounding your upcoming date you fail to learn a new spell.
1d80+3 = 5 + 3 = 8Eventualy you give up and pay a visit to the Lich’s mausoleum and the cute lil undead birdy meets you at the door. Harman, whom the Lich explains will be taking Monday off this week instead of Saturday, mindlessly shows the pair of you to the sofa infront of a huge TV. You note Harman is missing an arm.
While you watch the movie you do get to learn a little bit more about the Lich. He was originally a powerful Roc manipulator who roamed the skies of several realms, jumping through portals. He decided to settle for Lichdom when he discovered he had a terminal case of Sentient Gizzard Cancer. Sadly the human brewer he hired to make the potion of Lichdom accidently used water from the fountain of youth as opposed to the fountain of eternity. Because of that mistake the yellow Lich is forever preserved in the body of a hatchling. He has taken up residence in Tartarus to hide from those he knew in his previous life, afraid of being ridiculed.
He does in fact try to teach you his true name, but it consists more of chirps and whistles than it does of syllables that you can pronounce.
All in all the date went fairly well, with the Lich admitting that he would be all over you if he still had a few particular adult body parts. He agrees to a second date, but tells you that fishing is no good. He lacks proper hands, and is so small that many of the monsters in the river could eat him. He decides that the next date should be a study session. Upon hearing that you had trouble reading his book, the Lich produces and gives you a glowing red monocle, explaining that it should help you decipher his writing. (+1 Monocle of Handwriting Deciphering [+2 to all rolls involving handwritten documents])
1d80+4 = 62 + 4 = 66Emlyn:You head down to the beach where you discover that they are giving out free mixed drinks in honor of the last day of the party. You figure that there is no harm in having one... or two... or seven of them... Several hours later you stagger from the beach and head to the library, having accomplished no actual magical practice.
1d80+2 = 20 + 2 = 22In spite of your inebriated condition you manage to drive your rental car to the library without incident. You log onto a computer, find a T’ai Chi video, and start following along. Unfortunately the librarian does not care for the fact that a drunken weirdo is jumping around in front of one of the public computers, performing kicks and whatnot. You get thrown out of the library and end up spending the rest of your day in the car, sleeping off your condition.
1d80+1 = 22 + 1 = 23(The dice are not your friend here bro... I think you really did swap luck with Henry...)
Kathryn:Before leaving for the day you slip Henry a note explaining what you are up to.
Hitting the store, you purchase what you need to go after the gorgon without much difficulty or expense. (-64 USD, +2 Pair Sports Goggles, +1 Cleaver, +1 Stainless Steel Platter, +1 large piece of cloth)
You head down to the beach to start your patrol. You spot a bonfire on the beach, just outside the perception field and move to investigate. You discover that a group of students from the sphere of fire are celebrating the end of the semester by burning their textbooks. You chew them out for leaving the perception field, and manage to rescue two intresting textbooks from the clutches of the flame. (+1 Beyond Your World: An Introduction to Portal Key Mechanics, +1 The Definitive Guide to Elemental Performance Magic Volume 3: Fire)
1d80+5 = 59 + 5 = 64You take a quick break to watch the surfing duel’s final round. Your Angel Friend faces off against the shapeshifter Chet. Chet proves to be a tough opponent, taking the form of a large octopus and gripping the board with all eight arms. The combatants make three passes, but neither succeeds in de-boarding their foe. The referee announces that since three passes have been made, lethal tactics are now allowed. Chet takes the form of a manticore, tail glistening with deadly vennom, before he can get close however the Angel calls down a bolt of divine lightning from above, vaporizing both the shapeshifter and his board. Your friend is declared the winner. You hear Lisa bawling at the top of her lungs from the other team’s congregation.
To celebrate their win Celestial Academy decides to do a white elephant gift swap. You join in, donating your Crystal of False Impressions. You go second and open a box containing a powerful looking magic sword. Sadly several other people swap you, and by the end of the game you are left with a box of magical skin care products. (-Crystal of False Impressions, +1 Bar of Anti-Age soup, +1 Tube of healing ointment [Heals 15 HP, may only recover damage inflicted by phyiscal attacks, 20 uses], +1 Tube of combo sunscreen/heatscreen. [For the rest of the day you take 25% damage from heat and fire. 5 Uses])
1d80+5 = 32 + 5 = 37You say goodbye to the Celestial Academy team for the last time. The Angel informs you that he will be settling in LA after he graduates, having fallen in love with the city. He will be back after completing his finals, certification testing, and graduation ceremony. Due to time difference between realms this should only take 2 to 4 days on your end. You ask his name but he is reluctant to tell you, explaining that his true name could be exploited. Upon seeing you change into your into your Gorgon Hunting uniform he suggests that you just call him Perseus.
The Gorgon is not difficult to find, as she is sunbathing in the middle of the statues wearing only a bonnet to cover her snake hair. Upon seeing you she starts yelling in a language you cannot understand. You activate the babbelfish, but by the time it kicks in the Gorgon has already decided to attack, charging you with a sword and ineffective petrifying eye-beams. Your police instincts whip into action and you produce your gun putting a bullet through her heart. The Gorgon manages to splutter out the words
“Fuck my life” before falling over dead.
You look at the statues and notice they are all carrying cameras. Upon closer inspection the Gorgon turns out to be a dead ringer for Lindsay Lohan. It would seem that the poor girl was only trying to enjoy her vacation, and was hounded by the paparazzi. Henry shows up in a large armored truck and helps you load and haul the statues back home, where you receive payment. (+600 USD for Beach Patrol, +5500 USD for Gorgon Slaying)
1d80 = 45Henry:You park your smart car across the street from the manor and deploy your oozes to go fetch the Orb. The wait is long and stressful, but several hours later they return carrying it. You stash it away safely in your mimic backpack. (+The Core of Mercury)
1d80+4 = 50 + 4 = 54Before you leave to go shopping you spot a fleet of trucks without drivers approaching the manor. Kestrel comes out to greet them, and you head over to see what is up. Kestrel informs you that the trucks are for tomorrow's job, but agrees to let you borrow one for the day. You head out shopping, picking up some expensive supplies for your crafting and casting. (-3859 USD, +2 Pottery Wheels, +2 Ounces of Gold, +1 Handheld Mirror)
You then make a trip to the beach where Kathryn shows off a dead Gorgon and you help her load some human statues into the truck. When you return you find Tohsaka to be pissed... at the construction crew, whom she blames for stealing the gem. Sadly they have already left and there is little she can do about it. Kestrel pays Kathryn for her work and promises to look into reviving the statues.