"...mh?"
"....Mh?"
".....Huh? Why you be prodding me like dat you great lout?"
"What? Why should I- ohhhh, ya be bringing me a tuna fish? It be story time for you, my new tuna-bringing budda."
~~~
It was a daaaark and stormy night in da middle o' the ocean....
Fine, fine, it was a bright summa day, down in Chinatown. Little Ariel me mistress, she was maybe 12 years old back den, and cute as a button, ya? She was out looking in dem shops for a present for her mum, for it were Mother's Day. She'd been looking at these old fancy books, but dey weren't no good. Nothing there her mother woulda wanted - they all were some evil evil magic there. Den she was looking at cage for a bird with a great big skeleton of a great big bat innit, bones all painted up wit runes and spells. Not a good present either, don't ya think? She went on to go look at something else, I never found out what, when little Ariel knocked me over and let me out.
I ought to explain that, shouldn't I?
You know all dem tall tales about da Great King Solomon and his magic ring and binding all dem demons into great big bronze jars? Well, all of it but dat last bit is true. Old King Solomon, he was a mean, cruel old mage who became a King. And he did have a magic ring what got swallowed up by a fish ages and ages ago. And he did bind up a bunch of us demons, making us serve him and cast for him some spells. He just didn't keep us in any sort of "magical bronze vessel". No, it be worse than dat. Me an my master, Great Big Lion-Headed Sabnatch, we got imprisoned in Old Solomon's Own Chamber Pot. Ah, da indignity. Da shame of it all. Shoved Sabnatch and all 25000 of us lesser demons that serve him into dat pot, and shoved da lid on us reeeaaal tight. He was all kinds of angry at us, since Sabnatch had gone and cursed one o' Solomon's favourite dogs with worms when it went and tried ta chase him around. I tried to talk him out of it, but he wouldn't listen.
Well, Old King Solomon didn't like that one bit, but he didn't want to send us back to hell either. So into da chamber pot we went, for many many years. Old King Solomon put us in wit a spell so dat only a mage could let us out, dat way no servant woman would do it on accident, cleaning out his bedroom. He learned dat listen when the very thing happened with Buer... Ah, but I be getting off track. I'm sure you know, little Ariel be mage, and so when she knock over that chamber pot, we be let free. There was great big commotion when we all were trying to get loose, and Ariel, she didn't know what ta make of it. Got even more confused when Sabnatch came pouring out o' dat chamber pot like a fog, shooting straight up into the air and putting on all da dramatics and show. Turned himself to look like a lion-headed man, wit armour and a sword, trumpets blowing and great big cats roaring in the background, saying in dat big booming voice:
"I am Sabnatch, mortal, And you Have Freed Me! Name Your Three Wishes."
Now, little Ariel, she was always a bit of an odd girl. Sweet as a button, back den, but odd all da same. She went ahead and made a wish, and said, "I wish for a motorcycle!" Sabnatch, he didn't quite not what to make o' dat.
"I am Sabnatch, mortal, And I Know Not of This "Motorcycle"! Pick Something Else!"
So den she be asking for a manicure for herself and her mum, but Sabnatch, he not know what dat is either. An since I only just barely convince him dat she didn't say she wanted a "manticore" for her and her mum, he answers:
"I am Sabnatch, mortal, And I Know Not of This "Manicure"! Pick Something Else!"
Now, at dis point I be starting to get worried. There be a rule, you see, where if Sabnatch gives you three wishes, and he can't be granting any of them, he's forced ta give you a familiar instead an' without taking your soul at all. And wouldn't you know it, she goes and asks for a mars bar. And Sabnatch don't know what dat is either, being trapped in a chamber pot since the days of Solomon. So he answers:
"I am Sabnatch, mortal, And I Know Not of This "Mars Bar"! Thrice You Have Fooled Me! Take This Spirit As Your Familiar And Be Gone!"
~~~
And so here I am, inside dis cat o' Ariel's being her familiar. It ain't a bad life, especially when somebody brings me tunafish. Speaking of, you got a can opener?
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Topic: @)~~}~ Magia Exquisitis! ~{~~(@ (Read 119845 times)