You remove the parrot's bones with a carving knife before pressing it firmly into the garlic butter. It tastes a little like chicken and you wish you'd removed the feathers first. You do love Derek, but he can be a little untrustworthy at times, so you lock him inside the cage. Your cabinet is empty, so you head back upstairs to obtain liquor from the businessman. He is still locked in his bathroom, shouting down a phone. You take a small bottle of whiskey from a shelf, pour a little over your hand and take a huge swig. You tuck the half empty bottle into your pocket as you leave.
Recite BOFH lines on your way there.
Being a rather poor specimen of a bastard, you have nowhere near that level of magnificence. Thinking about the BOFH makes you feel inferior, so you finish the whiskey off to drown out your nagging inferiority complex.
Find a girl, take her out to a kids restaurant.
Slouch in your booth wearing dark glasses, and repeatedly let her know that you're a bastard. A right bastard.
You have to go to work to make money! There might be time for this later.
You take the elevator down to the ground floor and leave the building.
It is now 7:02 AM. The laptop is back in your apartment, blaring out the birdie song. You are a bit drunk. Your breath and hand smell of alcohol. You have to be at work by 8AM and it is just over an hours walk or 20 minutes in the car. Your car is parked next to the businessman's far nicer vehicle. A young woman is walking her dog, but otherwise you are alone.