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Author Topic: You are a bastard  (Read 6756 times)

MarcAFK

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Re: You are a bastard
« Reply #30 on: April 29, 2012, 05:42:57 am »
Also this entire thread reminds me of eddie from bottom.
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Quote from: NonconsensualSurgery on March 26, 2012, 09:11:55 pm
They're nearly as bad as badgers. Build a couple of anti-buzzard SAM sites marksdwarf towers and your fortress will look like Baghdad in 2003 from all the aerial bolt spam. You waste a lot of ammo and everything is covered in unslightly exploded buzzard bits and broken bolts.

ComradeGafarov

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Re: You are a bastard
« Reply #31 on: April 29, 2012, 02:16:48 pm »
Break into FANCY CAR with DOG.
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Mullet Master

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Re: You are a bastard
« Reply #32 on: April 29, 2012, 02:32:21 pm »
You are WEAK and require TRAINING.

RUN to WORK. SHOVE PEDESTRIANS out of the way if necessary. Begin with WOMAN WITH DOG.
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ComradeGafarov

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Re: You are a bastard
« Reply #33 on: April 30, 2012, 09:55:56 pm »
Use DOG to ANNIHILATE pedestrians.
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GlyphGryph

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Re: You are a bastard
« Reply #34 on: April 30, 2012, 10:00:21 pm »
Use DOG to TRAIN pedestrians.
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Furtuka

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Re: You are a bastard
« Reply #35 on: April 30, 2012, 10:07:53 pm »
Quote from: Heavy Weapons Pony on April 29, 2012, 05:31:46 am
NEIGH! Use your EPIC WORD SKILLS to become GOOD FRIENDS with WOMAN and DOG then STEAL EVERYTHING she owns.

or alternatively find out where her PLACE OF RESIDENCE is and STEAL some MORE STUFF after work.

This^
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It's FEF, not FEOF

raptorfangamer

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Re: You are a bastard
« Reply #36 on: April 30, 2012, 10:18:20 pm »
PTW.
I like where this is going
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Quote from: MonkeyHead on December 21, 2011, 06:13:23 pm
"Tobar, whats that on the wall?"

"That, Urist, is a reminder not to piss me off..."

MikaTheCrazy

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Re: You are a bastard
« Reply #37 on: May 01, 2012, 05:18:21 am »
Quote from: ComradeGafarov on April 30, 2012, 09:55:56 pm
Use DOG to ANNIHILATE pedestrians.

+1 Even if it doesn't work it will still be hilarious.
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Okay fine, maybe I'm too lazy to find something to put here.

lordcooper

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Re: You are a bastard
« Reply #38 on: May 01, 2012, 05:55:15 am »
You approach the woman and try to befriend her with Monty Python references.  No matter how many times you shout "Ni!" at her, she doesn't seem impressed.  You remember that no women actually like Monty Python and decide to try a different approach.

You grab the dog by it's tail and swing it into the businessman's car, bruising the head, bruising the skull, cutting the body and shattering the windscreen.  You pull yourself through the now empty window and sit there smugly for a few seconds before the woman's piercing screams ring out.

It is now 7:04 AM.  You are a bit drunk.  Your breath and hand smell of alcohol.  You have to be at work by 8AM and it is just over an hours walk or 20 minutes in the car.  You are inside the businessman's car with a dazed, wounded and soon to be very angry dog.  A young woman is screaming loudly.  You do not know how to hotwire a vehicle.
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Quote from: Sir Finkus on March 30, 2012, 03:08:24 pm
Santorum leaves a bad taste in my mouth

Nega

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Re: You are a bastard
« Reply #39 on: May 01, 2012, 07:12:35 am »
Start bellowing for her to shut up, while kicking the car. maybe that will get it started.
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Aklyon

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Re: You are a bastard
« Reply #40 on: May 01, 2012, 08:50:58 am »
Punch the horn, look under steering wheel for wiring.
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Crystalline (SG)
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Quote from: RedKing
It's known as the Oppai-Kaiju effect. The islands of Japan generate a sort anti-gravity field, which allows breasts to behave as if in microgravity. It's also what allows Godzilla and friends to become 50 stories tall, and lets ninjas run up the side of a skyscraper.

ComradeGafarov

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Re: You are a bastard
« Reply #41 on: May 01, 2012, 09:11:19 am »
Go back upstairs and steal keys from businessman. Destroy dog, then throw at pedestrians.
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Donuts

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Re: You are a bastard
« Reply #42 on: May 01, 2012, 09:28:01 am »
Quote from: ComradeGafarov on May 01, 2012, 09:11:19 am
Go back upstairs and steal keys from businessman. Destroy dog, then throw at pedestrians.
This, and throw the dog at woman.
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Quote from: Darvi on December 05, 2012, 09:02:31 am
"Oh shit, they've got a slogan! It means they're serious!"

MarcAFK

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Re: You are a bastard
« Reply #43 on: May 01, 2012, 09:32:03 am »
I think we might be getting a little bit confused about the difference between a Complete and utter bastard, and a deranged psychopath.
Just saying.
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Quote from: NonconsensualSurgery on March 26, 2012, 09:11:55 pm
They're nearly as bad as badgers. Build a couple of anti-buzzard SAM sites marksdwarf towers and your fortress will look like Baghdad in 2003 from all the aerial bolt spam. You waste a lot of ammo and everything is covered in unslightly exploded buzzard bits and broken bolts.

ComradeGafarov

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Re: You are a bastard
« Reply #44 on: May 01, 2012, 09:34:29 am »
So?
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