From the Journals of 'Sir', 27th Sandstone, 103A couple of centaurs were hanging around the fortress for a while. I didn't give them much thought, and wrote them off as harmless creatures. In my eyes, those silly things fall into the same category as fairies and unicorns. Elf stuff, that's what I mean.
Them, somehow, they just stormed in through the main gate. Two of them were caught in the cages, but two others made in into the fortress. That shit does not fly with me.
To add insult to injury, the fucking beasts took down my newest recruit, a hammerdwarf. That was really un-nice of them. When members of my squad die, that kind of makes me look bad.
Of course, we cleaned up the mess with the rest of the boys, but still, this was a major embarrassment.
Higginbottom should guard the fort fucking better, if he still wants to remain captain of the guard.
17th Timber, 103-Sir, look what I... found!
-Mmm. Nice steel arrow indeed. Where did you get it? And why is it bloody?
-I was hit with it Sir. Also, I think I need some medical attention. But never mind that, Sir! Just look at this fine bolt! I can keep it, yes?
-Well that's just... what is it now?
A familiar face steps closer.
-Fuck no, it's you again?
-Yes, Mirroredskunks, it would be me. I'm sure you'll love the wares I'm carrying this time.
-I'd LOVE to chat with you, cun... I mean, cunning liaison, but as you can see, we kind of have a little situation here.
-Ah yes, it IS a bit corpsy. More so than usual.
-Nothing serious, just a goblin ambush. We are mopping up, no casualties on our side this time. I'll be back in a bit. Treat yourself to a drink until then, dic... dear friend.
19th Timber, 103-Why are you covered in blood?
-OK, first off, I'll take all of your wood and steel supply, as well as your booze.
-And how would you convince me to do that, good Sir?
-By giving you ALL of our goblin loot, for starters. I can assure you, it's quite a haul.
-Well, that's... not half bad for a start. All right, agreed. What else?
-Don't toy with me, merchant. I know you brought the turrets.
-That I did. Don't underestimate me, soldier, you can't possibly afford the riches I carry.
-We'll see. OK, two fire- and two bullet turrets for the spears we've crafted for you.
-Now THAT is insulting. All these are silver spears, what am I to do with this garbage?
-Find some humans, and tell them it's good against the undead. That superstitious cowardly lot will believe everything.
-Hm... that may work, but still, not enough. What else can you give me?
-We have a shitload of shell gauntlets and helms. You can bloody well have those.
-What on Earth did you make those for?
-I don't know. We have more than a hundred, mostly bored dwarves here, and a metric fuckton of pond turtles. Seriously, that's our main food source, so we had a huge supply of shells. Some craftdwarf with a shitton of free time must have tinkered with them.
-I'll take those, but dirt cheap. Frankly, you ought to be paying me for ridding you of them. And I still need more for the turrets.
-Fine, you can have our fucking copper weaponry. We're in the process of switching to iron and steel anyway.
-OK, that's doable. I think I'll stick around for a bit.
-And what for?
-Oh, I just happen to have these as well.
-What's that?
-A slademantine short sword, a mithril halberd, a steel battleaxe, a set of slademantine-, slade- and welded mithril gauntlets each, and a single slademantine bar. Oh and another fire turret.
-Bastard. You took all our goods without showing me those?
-It pays to save your trump card for last. You'd better remember that. So as I've said, I'll stick around. Maybe you can forge a couple of more weapons for me in the meantime. Until then, you get to enjoy my company. Free of charge, even.
-Oh joy.