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[Blizzlord]

We have all heard the utterly awesome descriptions of the dwarven beard and its capabilities, ranging from psychokinesis to psionics, mind control, matter reconstruction and quantum entanglement. So what exactly is the dwarven beard and what can it actually do?

As a side note, how can it allow the dwarf to die?

[FritzPL]

It was said that dwarf is not the intelligent one - the dwarf is in fact a parasite. Beard can somehow control the dwarf, no one has been able to explain how. We'll probably see the truth in 0.76_09.

[Loud Whispers]

As a side note, how can it allow the dwarf to die?

The host gets too old. The beard must go on and find a new kinsdwarf to bond with, renewing the circle of Dwarf.

[Blizzlord]

0.76_09.

By then the world has ended and watching ponies are considered socially acceptable.

Who said the dwarf was the parasite? Iv'e quite often heard the opposite where the beard feeds of the dwarf.

As a side note, how can it allow the dwarf to die?

The host gets too old. The beard must go on and find a new kinsdwarf to bond with, renewing the circle of Dwarf.

It never moves away from the body, and will most likely turn into a !!beard!! considering the common causes of death. How can it find a new host if it has perished itself?

[Loud Whispers]

Beards are ethereal. See spirits? If the beard doesn't know the Dwarf it bonded with is dead, it tries to form a ghost memory of the Dwarf it remembers, which also causes it to inherit the memories of the Dwarf in it's final moments, which can have more than fatal consequences.

[Blizzlord]

But this has nothing to do with what is does while attached to the dorf and not bringing him back from the grave (to become strangely tranquil when memorialized, considering the beard created it).

[Loud Whispers]

Because Dwarf.

[FritzPL]

likes beards for their sense of control

[slothen]

By then the world has ended and watching ponies are considered socially acceptable.

join the herd.

[Blizzlord]

By then the world has ended and watching ponies are considered socially acceptable.

join the herd.

I said socially acceptable, as in others respecting your opinion. I didn't say "I don't like MLP and am totally not watching YTPMVs related to it right now!" now did I?

Dwarves, because ponies.

[Loud Whispers]

Again, because Dwarf.

And your argument is honey badger.

[Saiko Kila]

Beard allows dwarf to die because it is smaller than the dwarf. In some universes beard can be spun into thread, then woven into cloth, and then you can make cloaks from it. I suppose it would protect from death.

[Blizzlord]

Again, because Dwarf.

And your argument is honey badger.

Dwarves, because ponies, because dwarf = Honey badger.

Beard allows dwarf to die because it is smaller than the dwarf. In some universes beard can be spun into thread, then woven into cloth, and then you can make cloaks from it. I suppose it would protect from death.

So spacetime is a fabric which is spun by the hair of mendwarves? Even better.

[Oliolli]

Again, because Dwarf.

And your argument is honey badger.

Dwarves, because ponies, because dwarf = Honey badger.

Dwarven mathematics. It doesn't make any sense, therefore it works.

Beard allows dwarf to die because it is smaller than the dwarf. In some universes beard can be spun into thread, then woven into cloth, and then you can make cloaks from it. I suppose it would protect from death.

So spacetime is a fabric which is spun by the hair of mendwarves? Even better.

Quick! Call Stephen Hawking!

Too bad Einstein didn't have a beard, or we could bring his spirit back to work on this as well...

[i2amroy]

Again, because Dwarf.
And your argument is honey badger.

Dwarves, because ponies, because dwarf = Honey badger.

Dwarven mathematics. It doesn't make any sense, therefore it works.

To quote the wiki:
E=mc², or Elephant Stockpile Marmot Cat Refuse.