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[DwarfMeister]

Scenario:

It is the first year and your dwarves are busy working. Unbeknownst to them, there are two parties on the way to the fort. One party consists of highly trained goblin assassins with some kickass armor. The other party consists of an elven caravan containing mostly useless crap.

Would you-

A.) Want the Goblins to win and try your luck at, somehow, defeating them (or outsmarting them)?
B.) Want the Elves to win and hope that they bring you something that can benefit you?

Oh yeah.. Come up with your own answers if the ones I posted don't do it for ya.

GO!!!.

[i2amroy]

Well really I would rather have the elves show up and then be promptly slaughtered by the goblins, giving all of their stuff. Then I could kill as many goblins as I wanted and get their stuff as well, and if necessary simply out-wait them and get the elven stuff then.

(By the way if you were trying to come up with some type of forum game then the Forum Games and Roleplaying Board might be a better place for it in the future.)

[King DZA]

Any elves badass enough to defeat a party of elite, well-equipped goblin assassins while totally unprepared, and then just nonchalantly continue on their way, are more than welcome at any of my fortresses. Also, the elves might have Ocelots.

[DwarfMeister]

Any elves badass enough to defeat a party of elite, well-equipped goblin assassins while totally unprepared, and then just nonchalantly continue on their way, are more than welcome at any of my fortresses. Also, the elves might have Ocelots.

I forgot to mention- Goblins would win based on skill. Elves win because they get lucky.

[King DZA]

If they're that lucky, can you imagine all of the awesome stuff they must have? It would be like trading with a fucking leprechaun. Maybe I'd even try to cage trap 'em afterwards so I could place them around the fort as good luck charms.

[DwarfMeister]

If they're that lucky, can you imagine all of the awesome stuff they must have? It would be like trading with a fucking leprechaun. Maybe I'd even try to cage trap 'em afterwards so I could place them around the fort as good luck charms.

The elves are lucky, but they are bringing a ton of crap to your fort. It was a BAD year for them.

[King DZA]

Then it's probably safe to say that they're not carrying any Ocelots...In which case, the only real question is whether I want my fort to be visited by something that's trying to kill my dwarves, or something that's not trying to kill my dwarves...

Then again, I guess you never specifically mentioned that the goblins were coming to kill my dwarves. Perhaps the goblin assassins were just escorting the goblin diplomat to the fort in the hopes of making peace and commencing trade between the races?

[Sphalerite]

I'm wondering what's up with your embark, that you're seeing both elves and goblins in the first year.  Usually elves don't arrive till the second year's spring at the earliest, and goblins not for a year or two after that.

[Azated]

I'd rather kill two birds with one stone, so to speak.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Alidus]

Doesn't matter. Kill the possibly weakened victor no matter which side it is and take ALL the stuff.

[khearn]

I'm wondering what's up with your embark, that you're seeing both elves and goblins in the first year.  Usually elves don't arrive till the second year's spring at the earliest, and goblins not for a year or two after that.

Well, it could be late winter of the first year. He didn't say that they've arrived yet, just that they're on the way.

I want the elves to valiantly fight back, but be killed by the last remaining goblin, who then finishes bleeding out and dies. Preferably all of the above should happen just outside of the closed entrance to my fort, so my dwarves can then rush out and easily claim all the loot.

Unfortunately, elven caravans don't come with guards, so the above scenario is unlikely to happen. More likely is a Benny Hill chase scene as the goblins chase the elves around, eventually killing them in the far corners of by embark area so my dwarves have to spend months hauling stuff back to the fort.

Hey, maybe the elves will have camels carrying their goods. That might even the odds a bit. Highly trained goblin assassin with some kickass armor vs. camel with HOOVES. Place yer bets, folks!

[Deathworks]

Hello!

I prefer a trading fortress (so I actually don't activate invaders :) :) :) ), so I am completely with the elves. Now that clothes actually work again, I find it unlikely that the elves can really come up with only useless stuff. Even if the good animals are lacking, they usually bring some food and drink, which can always be used.

Of course, there is theoretically the element of getting war heroes among my dwarves, but since my defenses are usually based on weapon traps living up to the motto "it slices and dices", that is not really an aim.

Anyhow, that battle would definitely be a positive thing as I can look forward to some nice engravings, statues, and decorations afterwards, showing elves striking down goblins.

Yours,
Deathworks

[Leatra]

I don't want anybody to win. If I was the overseer, I would just watch the fight and kill the survivors.

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

[mnjiman]

Now you must have clothing for your dwarves to make them happy. Elves provide clothing. Aka, not as worthless as they used to be.

[xmakina]

My ideal result would be that the elves kill the goblins and then the elves drown in my Trade Depot due to a well timed and excellently handled "accident"