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Author Topic: Einsteinian Roulette On ship Thread: Maurice's One Night Stand  (Read 6013652 times)

piecewise

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Asscrack:Nature's filing cabinet.
« Reply #4920 on: July 28, 2012, 12:40:41 am »

(OK, so that leaves me the Reiterpallasch pair (both 2 tokens apiece, might be willing to sell them as a set for 3 tokens), the claymore (1 token for now, although I'm about to try sharpening it again and if I can do it it'll be 2 tokens), the cutlass (reserved for however much I can swindle Charro out of :P), and the arming sword (reserved for Feyri, not sure whether to make it 1 or 2 tokens yet). I believe I also currently have 9 tokens.)

Jim attempted to sharpen the claymore one more time, with amp and then traditional if the amp failed, then decided that enough was enough and he'd just sell it in whatever condition it was in. "Swords for sale! Inexpensive, reliable, and lightweight, perfect for additional protection on missions! Ask about custom forging!" Jim said, shilling his product.
You have 11 token.

[exo:6+1+1]
You snap the claymore in half.

"That's okay. Let's do this!"

Be the test subject.

((Uhhhh am I supposed to hear Mr. Sheep? Because that would be weird, what with it being Bishop's hallucination and all. And didn't he take those anti-psychotic pills?))
Woops, posted that in the wrong place :P

"Ah, good." the doctor says, nodding. "Will start when done with...him" He looks back at Bishop.

Charge around until finding someone to strangle.
[end:5]
[intuition:4-1]
You run around for a long time, probably 5 full minutes, screaming and grabbing at the air until you finally catch something. Feels like fabric.

Ok, replace the needles on the feet with just one each, full of a cocktail of liquid painkiller, coagulant booster and anti-shock meds.  Then save it and load a new Tinker scenario.
Just to let you know, the amounts needed for those drugs are pretty vastly different. That cocktail you're mixing is gonna have to have to be completely injected to work.

"Holy shit! It's good that I tested this thing before using it for real." Lukas walks over to where the girls was standing before and inspects the damage caused by his shot.
Well, everything in a 5 meter sphere of the shot is nothing but glass and slag, and everything else is in pieces, the size of which vary depending on distance.

SeriousConcentrate

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Asscrack:Nature's filing cabinet.
« Reply #4921 on: July 28, 2012, 01:14:12 am »

In response to that, Jim smelted the claymore into metal bars that he could make another sword out of. Just in case.
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SerCon Shorts: This Is How You Do It - Twenty-three one minute or less videos of random stupidity in AC:U, Bloodborne, DS2:SotFS, Salt & Sanctuary, and The Witcher 3.

Remalle

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Asscrack:Nature's filing cabinet.
« Reply #4922 on: July 28, 2012, 01:56:11 am »

Ok, that's fine.  I'm probably not going to get more than one opportunity to kick someone with a needle strapped to my foot anyway.
Anyway, load up a monoatomic razor, small power source, and a vibration motor.
How is the monorazor built, anyway?  Is it a handle and a blade?  Detachable?
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Zako

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Asscrack:Nature's filing cabinet.
« Reply #4923 on: July 28, 2012, 02:14:32 am »

((You forgot my action...))

((True, but I think that I'll get more therapy first.))

Bishop looked at the annoying man.

"Your funeral buddy. Tell me how it goes."

Purchase the Trauma Partition Membrane Therapy. Glare at the sheep.
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piecewise

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Asscrack:Nature's filing cabinet.
« Reply #4924 on: July 28, 2012, 08:41:05 am »

In response to that, Jim smelted the claymore into metal bars that he could make another sword out of. Just in case.
[exo:6+1+1]

You melt the claymore down into a puddle that rapidly hardens. Oh well, bar, puddle, same difference.

Ok, that's fine.  I'm probably not going to get more than one opportunity to kick someone with a needle strapped to my foot anyway.
Anyway, load up a monoatomic razor, small power source, and a vibration motor.
How is the monorazor built, anyway?  Is it a handle and a blade?  Detachable?
It resembles a Cheese wire in basic construction, just a filament strung between two prongs, with the motor and power source in the handle. Just in case you didn't read the information on the armory page, it already vibrates.

((You forgot my action...))

((True, but I think that I'll get more therapy first.))

Bishop looked at the annoying man.

"Your funeral buddy. Tell me how it goes."

Purchase the Trauma Partition Membrane Therapy. Glare at the sheep.
Woops, sorry. Odd choice, going with the organic equivalent of the MK II suit's medical systems when you could probably just buy an Avatar. But then again, being an avatar does make doing anything not related to killing people pretty hard.

"Oh, alright. Follow me"  He gestures to both you and cog and heads into the back of the infirmary. You both follow him to separate but similar rooms.

He deposits you on an operating table and gives you a syringe full of something that paralyzes you and renders you, for the most part, numb. He its a button on the wall on his way out with Cog and those familiar robotic limbs fold out of the wall, their thin arms tipped with a mix of syringe and cutting instrument this time. [will:3] You scream as they begin cutting into you, not from fear but from pain, dulled though it is. The machine starts with your legs, carving them straight up the shin, to the bone, and them holding the flesh open as needles stab away at it. Bags of blood substitute-clear goo like corn syrup suspended in racks around you and connected via seemingly animate iv tubes- are pumped into you to replace all the legitimate stuff you're losing. It goes for the torso next, splitting you open from pelvis to throat and prying you open, lifting your ribcage so syringe tipped arms can jab at throbbing organs. Though fast and brutal, the actions of the machine are exacting, wasting no movement, cutting only where needed and exactly as much as is required. It sews you shut, seals the wound with some sort of clear fluid that dries nearly instantly and moves on to your arms and your head, peeling your face straight off your skull so that it can get at your brain and eyes while it's there.

When it's done the limbs retract again and you can only wait for the drugs to wear off. Oddly, you can feel no pain from it already, as though nothing happened. You feel perfectly fine, in fact.


>Cog
The doctor leads you to another room and gives you the customary neckful of tranquilizer before shoving you on a table and heading out after slapping a button on the wall. The robotic arms come down, armed with what look like vegetable peelers in addition to their syringes and cutting implements. They start on your legs, slowly peeling and flaying the skin from the muscle and peppering the flesh with rapid fire injections. [will:6] You yawn as they continue to work, peeling you like a banana and injecting you time and time again. They do the front then grab you and flip you over to do the back, cutting away or removing clothing when needed. Finally, once they've finished removing every scrap of skin, they jam a syringe directly into your brain stem and knock you out. You wake up in a tank of viscus solution, your skin slowly regrowing.

Tiruin

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Asscrack:Nature's filing cabinet.
« Reply #4925 on: July 28, 2012, 08:44:25 am »

((Another glimpse into the medical marvels of the HMRC.

Zako, you are the epic guinea pig! :)) ))

[...]being an avatar does make doing anything not related to killing people pretty hard.
((Does this mean penalties, in any form? Meaning a -2 to scratching that itch on your back safely?))
« Last Edit: July 28, 2012, 08:53:10 am by Tiruin »
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kisame12794

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Asscrack:Nature's filing cabinet.
« Reply #4926 on: July 28, 2012, 09:17:56 am »

((You are a giant killer robot.))

"Glub."

Examine tank and new skin.
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The non-assholes vastly outnumber the assholes but the assholes can fart with greater volume.
((You're an arm and a torso in low orbit. This was the best possible resolution of things.))

Zako

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Asscrack:Nature's filing cabinet.
« Reply #4927 on: July 28, 2012, 09:59:01 am »

((Well, you gotta realise that having fingers that are as large as bazooka's carry inherent problems. You aren't exactly graceful for one and you tend to break things easily. Also, you will have trouble with small spaces and doors, which usually wont be a problem since you can just make your own.

Also, therapy FTW! This new one will definately help with further therapies that I might take, and I will never bleed again. Also, I won't have to worry about most horrible injuries, excluding those that destroy or disable important organs, EVER AGAIN.

Just want to mention, cog's proceedure is nightmare fuel. My god...))

Bishop breathed deeply for a moment and blinked, waiting for the movement to come back to his body. The pain would be worth the results, and his faster healing would have him ready for the next mission from such a brutal treatment. He had to admire the construction and use of the machines that operated on him, they were perfectly precise, quick and efficient. Something that they could use more of in missions, to be perfectly honest.

"Huh... huh... That... That was... intense..."

Judging from the lack of pain from such an extensive operation, he realised that it was already working perfectly. Bishop knew that the injuries were traumatic, to say the least, but he felt fine and knew he would heal quickly back to normal with no downsides as well. All he had to do now was pass the time until he could move again.

"St... Steve... I'm in the same situation again... Just to pass the time, do you mind telling me everything about the results of the proceedure I just went through? All the upsides and downsides, as well as any side effects?"

Ask Steve for info.
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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Asscrack:Nature's filing cabinet.
« Reply #4928 on: July 28, 2012, 10:22:21 am »

Brother Lars knew he was losing control, but, well, he was losing control!

Destroy what I have a hold of!
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

kisame12794

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Asscrack:Nature's filing cabinet.
« Reply #4929 on: July 28, 2012, 10:43:54 am »

((Now you ask him?))
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The non-assholes vastly outnumber the assholes but the assholes can fart with greater volume.
((You're an arm and a torso in low orbit. This was the best possible resolution of things.))

SeriousConcentrate

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Asscrack:Nature's filing cabinet.
« Reply #4930 on: July 28, 2012, 10:53:33 am »

Despite that claymore being more trouble than it was worth from day one, Jim attempted to form it into bars one more time before giving up on it completely.
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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Asscrack:Nature's filing cabinet.
« Reply #4931 on: July 28, 2012, 11:43:42 am »

((A bit late, yes, but I'm sure that the benefits will outweigh the downsides, if there are any.))
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Remalle

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Asscrack:Nature's filing cabinet.
« Reply #4932 on: July 28, 2012, 01:50:33 pm »

(I don't remember it vibrating, but that doesn't matter.)
Detach the sharp bit of the monorazor from the rest of it.  Spawn a ten centimeter long stainless steel bar, roughly pen-sized and shaped, but a bit thicker.  About one and a half centimeters in diameter.  Hollow it out, connect the power source and vibrating motor to each other, then the piece of razor I took out to the motor.  Place them all inside the handle I just hollowed out, and secure firmly.
Voila!  Monoatomic scalpel.
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piecewise

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Asscrack:Nature's filing cabinet.
« Reply #4933 on: July 28, 2012, 08:13:07 pm »

((Another glimpse into the medical marvels of the HMRC.

Zako, you are the epic guinea pig! :)) ))

[...]being an avatar does make doing anything not related to killing people pretty hard.
((Does this mean penalties, in any form? Meaning a -2 to scratching that itch on your back safely?))
Oh, no. Just means it's hard to do things like...fit in anything smaller then the hanger. You pretty much can't go anywhere but there. So you're good for missions, but when it comes to going elsewhere, you're pretty much out of luck.

((You are a giant killer robot.))

"Glub."

Examine tank and new skin.

Well the tank is...uh well it's a tank. It's got lots of goo and the walls are clear. As per skin...well you don't have any.


((Well, you gotta realise that having fingers that are as large as bazooka's carry inherent problems. You aren't exactly graceful for one and you tend to break things easily. Also, you will have trouble with small spaces and doors, which usually wont be a problem since you can just make your own.

Also, therapy FTW! This new one will definately help with further therapies that I might take, and I will never bleed again. Also, I won't have to worry about most horrible injuries, excluding those that destroy or disable important organs, EVER AGAIN.

Just want to mention, cog's proceedure is nightmare fuel. My god...))

Bishop breathed deeply for a moment and blinked, waiting for the movement to come back to his body. The pain would be worth the results, and his faster healing would have him ready for the next mission from such a brutal treatment. He had to admire the construction and use of the machines that operated on him, they were perfectly precise, quick and efficient. Something that they could use more of in missions, to be perfectly honest.

"Huh... huh... That... That was... intense..."

Judging from the lack of pain from such an extensive operation, he realised that it was already working perfectly. Bishop knew that the injuries were traumatic, to say the least, but he felt fine and knew he would heal quickly back to normal with no downsides as well. All he had to do now was pass the time until he could move again.

"St... Steve... I'm in the same situation again... Just to pass the time, do you mind telling me everything about the results of the proceedure I just went through? All the upsides and downsides, as well as any side effects?"

Ask Steve for info.
(Well, within reason obviously. A shot through the heart will still kill you dead after all. But you could take the sort of thing that happened to Mason and not worry for a lot longer.)

>Well, you'll basically never need any sort of medical help unless you get mangled to the point of being more hamburger then man. As long as your heart, most of your lungs and your brain are functional you'll be able to function, at least for a while. You're basically going to be able to continue on to the very edge of biological capacity and even if you're left gutted and immobile you'll be up and moving again in a few days at most.


Brother Lars knew he was losing control, but, well, he was losing control!

Destroy what I have a hold of!
[end:2] You start feeling very dizzy and light headed.
[str:1]
You attempt to drag whatever you have hold of closer to you but end up losing hold of it.

Despite that claymore being more trouble than it was worth from day one, Jim attempted to form it into bars one more time before giving up on it completely.
[exo:4+1+1] You melt it into a single, giant bar. Huh.

(I don't remember it vibrating, but that doesn't matter.)
Detach the sharp bit of the monorazor from the rest of it.  Spawn a ten centimeter long stainless steel bar, roughly pen-sized and shaped, but a bit thicker.  About one and a half centimeters in diameter.  Hollow it out, connect the power source and vibrating motor to each other, then the piece of razor I took out to the motor.  Place them all inside the handle I just hollowed out, and secure firmly.
Voila!  Monoatomic scalpel.
Well, the problem with that is that the "sharp part" is just a thin filament. So you're just gonna have a vibrating bit of filament on a stick. Unless you want to just take the prong setup from the razor and shrink it.

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Asscrack:Nature's filing cabinet.
« Reply #4934 on: July 28, 2012, 08:14:55 pm »

Spawn an altered the size of a bus (he is allowed to attack me) a few hundred meters away and give Lukas the sniper gun that resembles the one in his locker. Shoot the ugly bastard.
« Last Edit: July 28, 2012, 08:16:40 pm by Prosperus »
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You know what they say: It's all fun and games until a psycho-kinetic Armory Master rips your balls off.
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