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Author Topic: Einsteinian Roulette On ship Thread: Maurice's One Night Stand  (Read 6016559 times)

TCM

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: In which I fail to be helpful
« Reply #2370 on: June 09, 2012, 08:53:38 pm »

@TCM: He means F.A.T.A.L., which is a rather peculiar little tabletop game no one sane has ever played. Not even the insane, like Elisaz/May, has played it. I'm not going to say anything more about it, except that Piecewise mentioned it himself a while back when I was joking around about the Feyri/Jim ship.)
(( Tell me more about this fascinating game.


@Skyrunner: And so I've heard. I read an article on women's clothing, and discussed it with a female peer. And then we went on a discussion about how to strangle someone with a bra.

That's how I'm able to make such messed up characters. Because I never learned that it's a bad idea to flirt with psycho lesbians.))
Logged
Because trying to stuff Fate/Whatever's engrish and the title of a 17th century book on statecraft into Pokemon syntax tends to make the content incomprehensible.

Skyrunner

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: In which I fail to be helpful
« Reply #2371 on: June 09, 2012, 08:55:22 pm »

((Most bras will make good garrotes.))
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bay12 lower boards IRC:irc.darkmyst.org @ #bay12lb
"Oh, they never lie. They dissemble, evade, prevaricate, confoud, confuse, distract, obscure, subtly misrepresent and willfully misunderstand with what often appears to be a positively gleeful relish ... but they never lie" -- Look To Windward

Caellath

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: In which I fail to be helpful
« Reply #2372 on: June 09, 2012, 09:10:08 pm »

((Not having underwear makes sense in a way. O_o It's comfortable.))
((...Can't find much to comment about this, really. I know it is more comfortable, but they are necessary.))
(( No way! As for me, I'm practically longing for that kind of attempt - well, preferably executed by a female comrade. It's just... well, I promise it will be entertaining. Well, I will do my best at that, at least.))
((Right when I thought we already had enough pervs.))
Anyway, I kind of doubt our prime molesters care about anything that minor. If it was otherwise normal teammates occasionally doing it, yeah, but Renen? May? An extra layer of clothing isn't likely to do much against that.))
((Less about prevention and more about damage control. You know what I am talking about, the resident pervert checked to discover if Faith was wearing a bra. It is not difficult to understand what that means.))
Logged
"Hey steve." You speak into the air.
>Yes?
"Could you guys also make a hamburger out of this arm when they cut it off? I wanted to eat it just for the sake of tasting it."
>That is horrible and disgusting. It will no doubt set you apart and create fear in your team mates. So of course.

Prosperus

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: In which I fail to be helpful
« Reply #2373 on: June 09, 2012, 09:15:48 pm »

((May has become my favorite character on the ship :D))
((Random and creepy characters tend to do that. I also think Lukas wants some, which may have affected your judgement. :P))

((Nah, May is way to freaky for Lukas, and he doesn't expect anything like that to happen to him anymore.))
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You know what they say: It's all fun and games until a psycho-kinetic Armory Master rips your balls off.

IronyOwl

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: In which I fail to be helpful
« Reply #2374 on: June 09, 2012, 09:55:44 pm »

((Tell me more about this fascinating game.))
((Not as awesome as it sounds, unfortunately. I'm not very familiar with it, but it's got two main claims to fame.

The first is that it tries to be very adult and I think fairly dark in theme. There's a handful of spells whose effects are applied by having sex with someone, for instance.

The second, and probably more famous thing, though, is that there's sections and tables for the measurements of a staggering variety of body parts, like the length of the bridge of your nose. Which is fine, if probably totally useless, except this extends to the dimensions of your, ahem, equipment as well. The insanity part comes less from anything awesome and more from wondering why you need to know the exact length of your character's wang.


@Caellath: Ah, a little bit of extra armor, then. Yeah, that might be handy.))
Logged
Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Skyrunner

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: In which I fail to be helpful
« Reply #2375 on: June 09, 2012, 09:58:30 pm »

((It's possible in FATAL to fail to go to the bathroom for days on end.))
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bay12 lower boards IRC:irc.darkmyst.org @ #bay12lb
"Oh, they never lie. They dissemble, evade, prevaricate, confoud, confuse, distract, obscure, subtly misrepresent and willfully misunderstand with what often appears to be a positively gleeful relish ... but they never lie" -- Look To Windward

TCM

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: In which I fail to be helpful
« Reply #2376 on: June 09, 2012, 10:03:10 pm »

(( Jeez guys, I guess sarcasm doesn't travel well over the Internet. Of course I know what FATAL is.  :P ))
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Because trying to stuff Fate/Whatever's engrish and the title of a 17th century book on statecraft into Pokemon syntax tends to make the content incomprehensible.

IronyOwl

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: In which I fail to be helpful
« Reply #2377 on: June 09, 2012, 10:05:21 pm »

((It's possible in FATAL to fail to go to the bathroom for days on end.))
((This I was not aware of. Probably because I never actually managed to find the rules for anything amidst the eye ridge thickness tables and bizarre, mostly useless spells.))
Logged
Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Skyrunner

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: In which I fail to be helpful
« Reply #2378 on: June 09, 2012, 10:05:59 pm »

((It's possible in FATAL to fail to go to the bathroom for days on end.))
((This I was not aware of. Probably because I never actually managed to find the rules for anything amidst the eye ridge thickness tables and bizarre, mostly useless spells.))
((It was in a review.))

(( Jeez guys, I guess sarcasm doesn't travel well over the Internet. Of course I know what FATAL is.  :P ))
((What sarcasm?))

((Also, is it OK for the OOCness to continue for so long? xD))
Logged

bay12 lower boards IRC:irc.darkmyst.org @ #bay12lb
"Oh, they never lie. They dissemble, evade, prevaricate, confoud, confuse, distract, obscure, subtly misrepresent and willfully misunderstand with what often appears to be a positively gleeful relish ... but they never lie" -- Look To Windward

SeriousConcentrate

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: In which I fail to be helpful
« Reply #2379 on: June 09, 2012, 10:10:14 pm »

(Read that review too, huh? If it's the one I'm thinking of, anyway, where there were two reviewers... Also, if OOC was a problem, I don't think PW would have let it go on this long without saying something. He's probably happy we're amusing ourselves in a manner that doesn't require him rolling anything. :P)
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SerCon Shorts: This Is How You Do It - Twenty-three one minute or less videos of random stupidity in AC:U, Bloodborne, DS2:SotFS, Salt & Sanctuary, and The Witcher 3.

Caellath

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: In which I fail to be helpful
« Reply #2380 on: June 09, 2012, 10:11:00 pm »

((Also, is it OK for the OOCness to continue for so long? xD))
((The GM knows how his players' minds work. Terribly. Just don't throw in any action amidst the OOC. And part of the reason of the On ship thread's creation was to contain OOC.

I think we may end up with three threads : 1- Mission; 2- On ship and 3- OOC/Discussion.

Edit: Our discussions are also very...characteristic. It sounds like the kind of thing drunk RPG'ers would talk about inside a pub.))
I can't find piecewise declaring we leave the pods naked.))
((The stasis pods are filled with fluid and there are a lot of unpleasant things that happen inside there as well people would rather not know. And piecewise did say people leave the pods naked when Powder Miner asked about it. Powder had already picked two hand lasers for his character even before getting out of a pod, and the GM said that the people get out of the pods naked and with no possessions. So Powder Miner's first action was getting some clothes.

TL;DR: I am sorry to disappoint you, Nikitian. People get out of the pods naked. We can assume the first five Bastards did not suffer from that problem due to the fact they were probably the most recent batch. Or maybe they did, just off-screen.))
« Last Edit: June 09, 2012, 11:34:45 pm by Caellath »
Logged
"Hey steve." You speak into the air.
>Yes?
"Could you guys also make a hamburger out of this arm when they cut it off? I wanted to eat it just for the sake of tasting it."
>That is horrible and disgusting. It will no doubt set you apart and create fear in your team mates. So of course.

Nikitian

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: In which I fail to be helpful
« Reply #2381 on: June 10, 2012, 12:19:11 am »

(( Well, I guess I half-expected that. In a twisted fanatical deluded sense, that's even more glorifying for him - now he shares the same uniform with the bloody convicts heroic comrades of his. New life, no regrets. All that nonsense ;)
Though it *might* be possible to sew some clothing from the materials provided by the armory master, just the way Milno got his shoulder-plate paintings. I'll have to look into that later. ))
Logged
Past Sigs
Nikitian kneels in front of his computer, fresh lamb's blood on his hands, and prays to the dark powers for answers about armor thickness.

piecewise

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: In which I fail to be helpful
« Reply #2382 on: June 10, 2012, 02:00:41 am »

Faith sighed, a little dejected.

"Alright, I guess I'll do that. Thanks for the help, I guess."


Return to VR machine. Experiment with monoatomic razor, kinetic amplifier, and battery-powered blowtorch or similar at salvaging on-mission materials. Stuff the walls or floor is made of, sensitive electronics, basically anything I could potentially look at and want to use for crafting or augmenting something else.
Well, you're probably best off with a cutting torch. Kinetic amplifier is much too blunt and easy to go overboard with to use well for that purpose. A monoatomic razor would work for solid metals and stuff, but anything sensitive or soft is gonna get torn apart.

Travis awoke from stasis.

Alright. Time to get my bearings. Wasn't nice of them, just dumping me in a stasis pod.

Travis explores the ship, and attempts to find whose in charge.
You wander around looking for someone who looks mildly more important then everyone else. You can't seem to find anyone who seems terribly important. There's a lot of people hanging around in a room labeled "Rec/Mess hall", but they all look like cannon fodder.

Judo chop to the face.
[dex:4]
[Man dex:6-1]
[man str:6]
The man grabs your head and jerks it down as he brings his knee up, smashing your skull into his kneecap.
[end: 4] You stumble backwards, the world spinning and blurry as you struggle to stay on your feet.

((I remember when Elisaz pants'd Faith, she wasn't wearing underwear. So, is nobody on here wearing underwear? Because if they aren't THE POSSIBILITIES AREENDLESS! ))
Technically, everyone comes out of stasis naked so anyone who just wandered off and started doing things should still be naked. It's just not something I really enforce or even talk about much because, well, it just doesn't come up. You guys can imagine yourselves running around in S&M gear for all I care, but when it comes down to it.

As per the underwear situation, the ship's barracks has a "limitless" supply of gray unisex shirts, pants and shorts. Those shorts are as close to underwear as you get. Be glad you're not all in jumpsuits or, god  forbid, skin tight latex.

((Underwear firmly on, thank you very much. Like you'd even get to it through what I'm wearing, unless our clothes get replaced with standard stuff.))

To the NPC crew:

Driver, forward 400 meters at half speed. Gunner, both cannons at that pack. Let's give them hell.

((400m is about a fourth of a mile, fairly sure about that.))
The tank begins to rumble forward on your command and, a moment later, your gunner opens fire. The screen blooms into nothing but white a moment later and the entire tank shivers and vibrates violently as a mushroom cloud blooms in the near distance. The tank continues on till it reaches the 400 meter mark and then stops. By now the dust is starting to settle. The pack of whatevers, as well as any man near them, a nothing but green tinged glass now.

((Underwear firmly on, thank you very much. Like you'd even get to it through what I'm wearing, unless our clothes get replaced with standard stuff.))
((They get replaced with standard stuff. The convicts theoretically leave the stasis pods naked and without their belongings. So yeah, standard clothing.

You people could just start wearing the suits inside the ship.))

Well, that varies my fine friend. Are you looking for anti-ballistic plates? Anti-energy weapons? Reflective for lasers? Anti-shock to help with blunt impacts such as falling from a great height or catching a semi-truck in the solar plexus? Maybe anti-electrical or even kinetic dampener equipped plates? What would you like this armor to do for you?
((@GM: I'd go with a compact version of the battlesuit's chest armor wafer. "Compact" meaning less layers of armor, since I believe the battlesuit packs a thick wafer and it seems to have a reasonable "overall" defense.))
A thinned down version of the battle suit's armor. Got it.

A chest plate of cut down battle suit armor isn't gonna be too terribly expensive, just a few tokens really. 2 or 3.

 
(I suggest everyone who doesn't want to deal with the pervs just do what happened to Jim: get wrecked so bad you end up in a robot body. Hell, you could probably ask the doctor to do it for you - or the armory master for that matter, she'd probably be happy to. Then underwear doesn't even matter! Jim's not wearing any... in fact he's not wearing anything! :3)
(( No way! As for me, I'm practically longing for that kind of attempt - well, preferably executed by a female comrade. It's just... well, I promise it will be entertaining. Well, I will do my best at that, at least.
And no, not that way.
As for underwear - I'm wearing my uniform, so yes, I'm wearing my underwear. ))
((Underwear firmly on, thank you very much. Like you'd even get to it through what I'm wearing, unless our clothes get replaced with standard stuff.))
((They get replaced with standard stuff. The convicts theoretically leave the stasis pods naked and without their belongings. So yeah, standard clothing.
(( Really? Oh, what a pity. But I'm not so sure about this, actually. Many people have left the pods naked, sure, but it's not that piecewise have imposed this, I believe. *flipping pages* Nah, I can't find some of the first character posts, but the original five never had those, and I can't find piecewise declaring we leave the pods naked. Actually, some of us mentioned the specific clothing (brought from before joining the HMRC) we wear in the 'appearance' part of the sheet, and piecewise accepted those sheets without a word regarding that. Not that it means anything, yeah. :) ))

Smile as the exoskeleton reboots.
You know, Nick, I'm probably joining you in the next few moments. Oh, and just to make sure, does those LESHO rifles have a trigger I can pull, or are they fully operated by using that 'targeting and fire control computer''s inputs?
((@GM Okay, got it. Sorry, I didn't mean ill.
One more thing: does operating the aforementioned twin-linked LESHO rifles uses the conventional weapons skill or the auxilliary devices skill? I'm not sure to what degree the weapon is 'computer controlled' now. ))
(LESHO's are already fairly fire and forget, so this computer control just means that the already massive modifier they get was bumped up. That combined with the fact that they're nuclear tipped means that rolls become a bit superfluous at this point. It would be an aux roll for the one using it though.)

After a moment the suit beeps quietly and then plays a happy chime. It's finished booting up.

((Oookay. Underwear is on. FATAL.))

"Oh screw it. I'll just make a box to cover the chambers, then weld that to the rest of the rifle. I can make it look pretty later. Function before form."


[handiwork:6+1+1]
You successfully use the welding machine that someone just left near this pile of crap to make a metal box around the extra chambers. Then you wield that box to the rifle. Hmm, it looks a bit...off.

@TCM: He means F.A.T.A.L., which is a rather peculiar little tabletop game no one sane has ever played. Not even the insane, like Elisaz/May, has played it. I'm not going to say anything more about it, except that Piecewise mentioned it himself a while back when I was joking around about the Feyri/Jim ship.)
(( Tell me more about this fascinating game.


@Skyrunner: And so I've heard. I read an article on women's clothing, and discussed it with a female peer. And then we went on a discussion about how to strangle someone with a bra.

That's how I'm able to make such messed up characters. Because I never learned that it's a bad idea to flirt with psycho lesbians.))

I've still got the PDF version of the F.A.T.A.L. DM guide thing on my pc somewhere. Don't ask why.

((Tell me more about this fascinating game.))
((Not as awesome as it sounds, unfortunately. I'm not very familiar with it, but it's got two main claims to fame.

The first is that it tries to be very adult and I think fairly dark in theme. There's a handful of spells whose effects are applied by having sex with someone, for instance.

The second, and probably more famous thing, though, is that there's sections and tables for the measurements of a staggering variety of body parts, like the length of the bridge of your nose. Which is fine, if probably totally useless, except this extends to the dimensions of your, ahem, equipment as well. The insanity part comes less from anything awesome and more from wondering why you need to know the exact length of your character's wang.


@Caellath: Ah, a little bit of extra armor, then. Yeah, that might be handy.))
http://www.rpg.net/reviews/archive/14/14567.phtml
That should do it.

It goes far beyond "a handful", both in terms of the number of sex based crap and the possible size of your equipment. If I remember right, oddities in how certain things are rolled for you can end up with a orifice 5 foot in diameter. Not to mention all the racism, sexism and other nasty things.

((Also, is it OK for the OOCness to continue for so long? xD))
((The GM knows how his players' minds work. Terribly. Just don't throw in any action amidst the OOC. And part of the reason of the On ship thread's creation was to contain OOC.

I think we may end up with three threads : 1- Mission; 2- On ship and 3- OOC/Discussion.

Edit: Our discussions are also very...characteristic. It sounds like the kind of thing drunk RPG'ers would talk about inside a pub.))
I can't find piecewise declaring we leave the pods naked.))
((The stasis pods are filled with fluid and there are a lot of unpleasant things that happen inside there as well people would rather not know. And piecewise did say people leave the pods naked when Powder Miner asked about it. Powder had already picked two hand lasers for his character even before getting out of a pod, and the GM said that the people get out of the pods naked and with no possessions. So Powder Miner's first action was getting some clothes.

TL;DR: I am sorry to disappoint you, Nikitian. People get out of the pods naked. We can assume the first five Bastards did not suffer from that problem due to the fact they were probably the most recent batch. Or maybe they did, just off-screen.))
Yeah, stasis pods aren't very nice things, what with having oxygenated PFC's pumped into and out of your lungs, as well as into all your orifices and even your chest cavity. You all have a little valve in your side for that, by the way. They're all about preserving you and protecting you from any sort of damage while you sleep. Though it sometimes just kills you. Oh well.

Spinal_Taper

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: In which I fail to be helpful
« Reply #2383 on: June 10, 2012, 02:02:49 am »

Stay evasive, don't get hit.
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Prosperus

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: In which I fail to be helpful
« Reply #2384 on: June 10, 2012, 02:22:48 am »

@TCM: He means F.A.T.A.L., which is a rather peculiar little tabletop game no one sane has ever played. Not even the insane, like Elisaz/May, has played it. I'm not going to say anything more about it, except that Piecewise mentioned it himself a while back when I was joking around about the Feyri/Jim ship.)
(( Tell me more about this fascinating game.


@Skyrunner: And so I've heard. I read an article on women's clothing, and discussed it with a female peer. And then we went on a discussion about how to strangle someone with a bra.

That's how I'm able to make such messed up characters. Because I never learned that it's a bad idea to flirt with psycho lesbians.))

((Why oh why did I have to go and waste 15 minutes of my life to check out what F.A.T.A.L. is???))
Logged
You know what they say: It's all fun and games until a psycho-kinetic Armory Master rips your balls off.
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