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Author Topic: I just discovered a new way to kill nobles.  (Read 4755 times)

Corai

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I just discovered a new way to kill nobles.
« on: April 23, 2012, 09:25:35 pm »
Step 1.Have a noble forbid export of a item.

Step 2.Give your hammerer a silver/modded in slade warhammer.

Step 3.Remove all police, and jails. 100% chance of hammering.

Step 4.Have the noble bring the forbidden object to depot.

Step 5.Laugh at the hypocrite as he/she gets hammered.
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

friendguy13

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Re: I just discovered a new way to kill nobles.
« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2012, 09:34:11 pm »
Best justice ever!
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Quote from: FunkyWaltDogg on May 07, 2010, 10:34:59 am
I find it funny that until now, no one (including myself) stopped to consider the absurdity of a submarine in which the crew cabin is filled with water and the crew is drowning when everything is working properly.

NedeN

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Re: I just discovered a new way to kill nobles.
« Reply #2 on: April 23, 2012, 09:45:14 pm »
How do you force a particular dwarf to "bring item to depot". Is it dependent on the which hauling labor the item goes with?
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Quote from: Broseph Stalin on February 16, 2012, 10:33:00 am
I watched a zombie dwarf tear off a girls dress and hit her with it so hard it became lodged in her skull.

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Corai

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Re: I just discovered a new way to kill nobles.
« Reply #3 on: April 23, 2012, 09:47:43 pm »
Quote from: NedeN on April 23, 2012, 09:45:14 pm
How do you force a particular dwarf to "bring item to depot". Is it dependent on the which hauling labor the item goes with?

<D>ump the item in there room, make a one-way to the depot from there room. Have it come to the depot. Cause he is the only one who can path to it, only he will bring it.
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Lordraymond

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Re: I just discovered a new way to kill nobles.
« Reply #4 on: April 23, 2012, 11:51:17 pm »
Quote from: Corai on April 23, 2012, 09:47:43 pm
Quote from: NedeN on April 23, 2012, 09:45:14 pm
How do you force a particular dwarf to "bring item to depot". Is it dependent on the which hauling labor the item goes with?

<D>ump the item in there room, make a one-way to the depot from there room. Have it come to the depot. Cause he is the only one who can path to it, only he will bring it.

Sounds fairly high-labor when a good dose of a particular red, bubbly semi-liquid could solve the problem just as well. However, I suppose if you made the room with express purpose of executing the noble living inside...
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Quote from: Monk321654 on April 15, 2012, 12:47:51 pm
Quote from: Karakzon on April 15, 2012, 12:46:57 pm
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Morpha

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Re: I just discovered a new way to kill nobles.
« Reply #5 on: April 24, 2012, 12:02:29 am »
I like it. It's not as flashy, but it has the taste of irony that makes it entertaining.
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Quote from: Gerottomo on May 03, 2012, 04:34:11 pm
That should be a new type of project, making a rug design in dwarf fortress (With accurate coloring)
"And so, after many deaths and much sacrifice, someone turned their fortress into a fully functioning self aware carpet that actively sought after sources of fresh blood."

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http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=108229.30

Garath

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Re: I just discovered a new way to kill nobles.
« Reply #6 on: April 24, 2012, 01:32:05 am »
didn't nobles have diplomatic immunity?
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Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
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Lordraymond

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Re: I just discovered a new way to kill nobles.
« Reply #7 on: April 24, 2012, 01:33:06 am »
If you wanted flashy, use the depot and give the noble an attack order while a guarded caravan is there. Word of his Cardinal Tooth mandates has garnered hate even outside the fort.
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Quote from: Monk321654 on April 15, 2012, 12:47:51 pm
Quote from: Karakzon on April 15, 2012, 12:46:57 pm
The question is: how do you profaine a temple dedicated to pure greed?
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Talvieno

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Re: I just discovered a new way to kill nobles.
« Reply #8 on: April 24, 2012, 02:16:24 am »
It'd be awesome, but nobles have the [PUNISHMENT_EXEMPTION] tag, which makes them, as you would guess, punishment-immune. They could take the item to the depot, but they couldn't be punished for it.
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Mitchewawa

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Re: I just discovered a new way to kill nobles.
« Reply #9 on: April 24, 2012, 02:19:25 am »
Quote from: Talvieno on April 24, 2012, 02:16:24 am
It'd be awesome, but nobles have the [PUNISHMENT_EXEMPTION] tag, which makes them, as you would guess, punishment-immune. They could take the item to the depot, but they couldn't be punished for it.

Congratulations, we may have just discovered a loophole in the export-ban justice. Need to sell those mechanisms? Just have a noble bring it.
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Talvieno

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Re: I just discovered a new way to kill nobles.
« Reply #10 on: April 24, 2012, 02:27:25 am »
Quote from: Mitchewawa on April 24, 2012, 02:19:25 am
Quote from: Talvieno on April 24, 2012, 02:16:24 am
It'd be awesome, but nobles have the [PUNISHMENT_EXEMPTION] tag, which makes them, as you would guess, punishment-immune. They could take the item to the depot, but they couldn't be punished for it.

Congratulations, we may have just discovered a loophole in the export-ban justice. Need to sell those mechanisms? Just have a noble bring it.
This will require some !!SCIENCE!! testing...
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Quote from: Mr Frog
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Cobaldunderpants

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Re: I just discovered a new way to kill nobles.
« Reply #11 on: April 24, 2012, 04:18:36 am »
Quote from: Garath on April 24, 2012, 01:32:05 am
didn't nobles have diplomatic immunity?
Its just been revoked.
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eLcHi

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Re: I just discovered a new way to kill nobles.
« Reply #12 on: April 24, 2012, 04:36:18 am »
Had to kill my Mayor yesterday.

Noticed i had a Vampire in my Fort. With a bit of Therapist help i was able to identify him. Gave him his own Military Squad and sent him to take on the Minotaur that was hanging out outside the gates. With the help of the Caravan guards they took the Minotaur down, but the Vampire suffered a broken hip. Was brought to a room (No hospital yet), locked him in and thought all was good.

A year later that sucker becomes my Mayor. Still lying in his room, sleeping, feeling happy besides being VERY thirsty for "alcohol" ;)

In the meantime the Hospital was finished, so i unlocked the room, he was fixed up in the Hospital (so he could walk again), opened the Gates and sent him to engage the Goblin Siege outside. He didnīt make it very far 8)

One Vampire-Noble gone! FUN!
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MarcAFK

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Re: I just discovered a new way to kill nobles.
« Reply #13 on: April 24, 2012, 04:57:16 am »
I thought dwarves were randomly picked for punishment when an export order was broken? :/
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Quote from: NonconsensualSurgery on March 26, 2012, 09:11:55 pm
They're nearly as bad as badgers. Build a couple of anti-buzzard SAM sites marksdwarf towers and your fortress will look like Baghdad in 2003 from all the aerial bolt spam. You waste a lot of ammo and everything is covered in unslightly exploded buzzard bits and broken bolts.

Garath

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Re: I just discovered a new way to kill nobles.
« Reply #14 on: April 24, 2012, 05:23:13 am »
It's been generally accepted that the person who brought it to the depot is punished. I remember one thread that mentioned that if an item with an export ban was brought to the depot in a bin, then sold, but the bin itself wasn't, there would be noone punished, because they hadn't touched the item, just the bin. I wonder why the broker/whoever trades it away isn't punished.
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.
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