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[DG]

Hi, guys. A few days back I drew a jaguar playing cards with chickens and it got me thinking about a DF card game (please don't judge me). I know that this is not a new idea and that others have explored the concept before (cards that is, not animals playing with them). A quick and lazy search has shown me that at least two other people tinkered with the idea but I think I can bring enough new ideas to justify my own DF cards thread. The aim is to give a standard deck of cards the DF treatment and invent a unique game that incorporates as many DF related themes as possible without being lame. I doubt we'll succeed but maybe we'll have fun in the process. I'm thinking a modified version of poker would work best. Please don't take this too seriously because I definitely am not. Ideas for tricks, card specials, order, make-up or balancing are welcome.

The Deck

Below are the reinterpreted standard cards from lowest to highest face value along with their names and common alternative names. For suits, Hearts are Axes, Diamonds are Spears, Clubs are Hammers and Spades are Swords.

2          ∙              vermin
3          ☼           turtle (food, shell)
4          c             cat
5          •             microline (stone, rock)
6          ♠             tower-cap (wood, log)
7          ÷           barrel (booze)
8          Ç           mechanism
9          k            kobold
10        ☺          dwarf
J          g            goblin
Q         ≈           magma
K          &           demon
A          D          dragon (megabeast)

The 4 of diamonds equivalent in a DF deck would thus be called a spearcat while a 7 of clubs would be called a hammerbarrel and so on. Here's a dodgy mock-up of what a DF card could look like:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Front and back concept of the swordkobold card. If you were using the DF deck to play a traditional game this would count as the 9 of spades.

The Basic Game

I've based this on poker. The following is a bare-bones description.

• Two (minimum), three or four (maximum) people can play.
• Each player selects a card from the deck and the highest card holder becomes dealer. Thereafter dealership alternates in a clockwise fashion. For all intents and purposes the dealer is also a player.
• Dealer shuffles. The player to the left of the dealer is dealt to first and must place a minimum bet (small blind) before cards are dealt and the player to their left must place double that bet (big blind). This is to ensure that betting occurs in every round. If there are two players the dealer effectively becomes the big blind.
• Each player is dealt seven cards. These are called the "Embark" cards. The first five cards are the "worker" cards which make up the active hand. The last two cards are the player's "stockpile" cards, sometimes called "noble" cards.
• The remaining cards in the deck after everyone has embarked are called the "migrant pool" or just "migrants".
• The worker cards are generally what you compare against other player's worker cards to decide who wins the round. The stockpile cards may sometimes modify your cards and/or your opponent's cards.
• The player to the left of the big blind must decide whether to match the latest bet or raise, otherwise they abandon the round. Betting progresses amongst players in a clockwise direction. You must wait your turn before betting, raising or abandoning. There is no limit to raising but if your bet is matched (called) you can not reraise.
• Once the first betting round ends, players may choose to discard up to four of their worker cards but not all five. Stockpile cards can not be changed or discarded. Discarded workers are replaced from the migrant pool. Discarded workers are placed face-down in a "refuse" pile. Players may not look at cards in the refuse pile, even their own cards.
• Another round of betting starts with the player to the dealers left.
• If two or more players remain after the second round of betting ends then they must show all of their worker and stockpile cards and the winner is decided.
• When you compare your hand to another players hand it cannot be affected by cards from a third or fourth players hand.

Four players is the maximum so that there is a big enough migrant pool to replenish cards if all four players discard the maximum cards. You have to keep at least one card to symbolize the fact that if you got rid of them all before the migrant wave your fortress would crumble to dust but again also to make sure there are enough cards in the migrant pool.

[DG]

The Cards

Trying to encompass DF in thirteen cards is impossible extremely difficult. Lots of cool things must be left out. I haven't got elves or carp or anvils in my chosen thirteen for example but I think I've made a good compromise. I've chosen these cards for a variety of reasons. The symbols are distinct. You wouldn't want a goblin, groundhog, mountain goat and gibbon card. The relative value of the cards should make sense and a veteran DF player should intuitively know which is higher than another (this will always be a bit iffy, I know). Magnetite, limonite and hematite wouldn't be good. Most importantly we must think of all the ways in which the cards can interact with other cards in a way that touches on yet more DF themes. In so doing we'll hopefully elevate this from a simple bastardisation of poker to a fun DF game that imitates the depth of the video game.

Now some terminology. A lot of the DF flavor will come simply from changing standard names for things in cards. So in DF cards:

A pair is called a "biscuit"
A three of a kind is called a "stew"
A four of a kind is called a "roast"
So if you have two magma cards, you wouldn't say "I have a pair of magma", you'd say "I have a magma biscuit". Dwarfy. Pairs, three of a kinds and four of a kinds can collectively be called "meals". The meal term is useful when talking about "tricks" later.
A flush (five cards of the same suit) is called a "squad". That's why I converted the suits to basic dwarf weapons. You can have an axe squad, spear squad, hammer squad and sword squad. I chose the weapon to roughly match the shape of the original suit but by that logic mace makes more sense than hammer. But I think hammer sounds cooler.
There is no straight or full house. These are incorporated into "tricks". "Tricks" (inspired by the card term and also stupid dwarf trick) are special combinations of 5 cards which automatically beat any non-trick hands unless specifically noted. Now to explain/justify my choice of cards.

∙              vermin

worker specials:
stockpile specials: wear (☼), bad thought (☺)
vulnerabilities: c
trick combos: dining room, fortress, tantrum

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I think vermin is a good fit for the lowest value card. Vermin are generally something you don't want in your fortress. I know there are useful vermin but for the purposes of this card, it depicts the bad thought kind. That's why I made it grey as that's the most common colour for the hateable type. A vermin card in your stockpile can be used to give a bad thought to any one dwarf card in all opposing players worker and stockpile hands. A dwarf card with a bad thought becomes an unhappy dwarf and it's value becomes lowest. An unhappy dwarf can still be combined in tricks. If you have a second vermin card in your stockpile you can cause an unhappy dwarf card to tantrum which effectively removes it from the player's hand, breaking any trick he may have had or stockpile benefit. Alternatively you can use vermin in your stockpile to cause wear in any one turtle card in all opposing player's cards. Causing wear in the turtle effectively removes it from the players hand. You must chose whether to attack a dwarf or a turtle, if you have two vermin in your stockpile you can split the attack. Your vermin can be used once on each player. If opposing players have no turtle or dwarf cards, stockpiled vermin have no use.

☼           turtle (food, shell)

worker specials:
stockpile specials:
vulnerabilities: ∙ ☺
trick combos: dining room, fishing, caravan, artifact

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I chose turtle because it can play the dual role of both food and shell (thus it's alternative names). Plus it's a reference to how in the past (maybe still) players would always embark with some turtles so that moody dwarves wouldn't die while screaming for shells in a desert. Turtles are also very cheap to buy on embark so it's a good fit for a low card. Unfortunately I can't think of worker or stockpile specials which is a minus to this card. It does have effective trick combination potential, though.

c             cat

worker specials:
stockpile specials: shield (☼ ☺), detect (k)
vulnerabilities:
trick combos: catsplosion

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You must have cats in a DF deck. Whether it be cat tallow roasts, thermonuclear catsplosions or war kittens they are a staple. A cat in your stockpile can adopt a dwarf in your worker hand and protect it from bad thoughts caused by opposing players stockpiled vermin. A cat in your stockpile can also detect and stop opposing players stealing from your stockpile with a kobold card or stop a vermin card from causing wear in your turtle card.

•             microline (stone, rock)

worker specials:
stockpile specials:
vulnerabilities:
trick combos: dining room, stone-fall trap, fortress, drawbridge, artifact, megaproject

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Having a stone card is a no-brainer even if I can't think of suitable worker and stockpile specials. This card has good potential for tricks and can be modified in other ways. Most notably if you have a demon in your stockpile any microline worker cards become adamantine, which is the highest face value card. That's why I chose to use microline and not any other rock or call it generic "stone" card. Microline is the same colour as adamantine. Microline is also probably the most notorious stone amongst DFers.

♠             tower-cap (wood, log)

worker specials:
stockpile specials:
vulnerabilities:
trick combos: cage trap, dormitory, caravan, fortress, clearfelling, artifact

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Here's another one I think is a no brainer like microline. Wood is an important resource in a fortress for both construction and fuel. I chose Tower-cap rather than generic wood because this way it can play the role of both tree and material. And tower-cap is the dwarfiest of trees. I can't think of worker or stockpile specials but it has good trick potential.

÷           barrel (booze)

worker specials:
stockpile specials: boost (☺)
vulnerabilities: ☺
trick combos: party

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Booze and dwarves go together like dwarves and beards. And barrels are one of the most numerous furnishings in a fortress. I don't think there're many who would argue to remove this card from the deck. A barrel in your stockpile will cause all worker dwarves to have the highest card face value (excepting microline that has been changed to adamantine) because the sky is the limit for a liquored up dwarfs potential. There's no bonus to having two barrels in your stock pile other than requiring an opposing player have two stockpiled dwarves or kobolds to render them ineffective.

Ç           mechanism

worker specials:
stockpile specials:
vulnerabilities:
trick combos: stone-fall trap, cage trap, fortress, drawbridge, flood the world

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

They still don't make a lot of sense in game but they are so much fun. In DF cards they have high trick potential.

k            kobold

worker specials: swap (first round pre-betting)
stockpile specials: steal (last round post-betting)
vulnerabilities: c
trick combos:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So why a kobold and not an elf? Or a human? Or a tigerman? I think the thievery inherent in the kobold can make it interesting. If you have a kobold in your worker hand you can chose to swap it with any one card from any other players worker hand as long as you have not yet bet. You can only do this in the first round. It can be effective if you steal from someone who bet strongly before you and you manage to steal a critical card from them. If you have a kobold and someone steals from you, you can still steal yourself but you must first turn the other players kobold card face up before deploying your own. That's to stop cheating. I suppose you could argue that people should remember the suit of the original kobold but this way avoids confusion and suspicion. You can steal from a player who just stole from you. You can steal as many times as you have kobolds but you must first declare how many times you want to steal and if you get a kobold from another player you can't then steal again with that kobold. You can bet, raise or abandon once you've finished stealing. When stealing from another player they will lay their cards face down and you randomly choose a card. This use of the kobold can not be blocked by a cat. You can use a stockpiled kobold to steal a card from another players stockpile only when/if their stockpile is made visible at the end of the second round of betting and you are comparing cards. This may help you change a losing hand into a winning hand. This use of a kobold can be stopped by a stockpiled cat. You can do this once against each opponents stockpile per kobold you have stockpiled. So worker kobolds against opposing workers, stockpiled kobolds against opposing stockpiles. I think that covers it.

☺          dwarf

worker specials:
stockpile specials: craft (• ♠), consume (☼ ÷)
vulnerabilities: ∙
trick combos: party, dining room, dormitory, fishing, caravan, ambush, fortress, catsplosion, tantrum, clearfelling, artifact, megaproject

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The humble dwarf. Maker of marvels and horrors. A stockpiled dwarf can convert microline in your worker hand into mechanisms or tower-caps into barrels. One stockpiled dwarf per conversion. Alternatively they can consume a turtle or barrel card from an opponents cards. An unhappy dwarf will not convert cards in your worker hand but can still consume turtles and barrels.

g            goblin

worker specials:
stockpile specials:
vulnerabilities:
trick combos: stone-fall trap, ambush, siege

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I had to add goblins as the principle dwarf enemy even though I can't think of worker or stockpile specials. I made goblin higher value than dwarf because a goblin will usually beat the average dwarf mostly because the average dwarf does something stupid to help. Hopefully someone can think of fun specials because I don't want this card left out of the deck for something else.

≈           magma

worker specials:
stockpile specials: melt (•), burn (♠)
vulnerabilities:
trick combos: flood the world, artifact

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The final solution. Demons and dragons are above magma in value because they are magma-immune, of course. Stockpiled magma can be used to remove an opposing players microline or tower-cap card. You can't remove microline that has been converted to adamantine.

&           demon

worker specials:
stockpile specials: boost (•)
vulnerabilities:
trick combos: siege

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The end game. The ampersand is too cool to leave out. If you have a demon in your stockpile you probably had to dig through adamantine to free it, so any microline in your worker hand is considered to be adamantine, which is the highest card.

D          dragon (megabeast)

worker specials:
stockpile specials: dragonfire
vulnerabilities:
trick combos: Cage trap

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The in game power of the dragon hasn't yet reached Toady's ultimate intention, so I think I can justify putting it in above a demon. Besides, the spirit of this card is all megabeasts, not just the dragon and a BC will trounce most demons. I chose Dragon for the dragonfire. You can use a dragon in your stockpile to burn the stockpile of another player, rendering it useless. Unfortunately tame dragons are known to be indiscriminate and it will also destroy your other stockpile card. You can choose not to use dragonfire.

[DG]

Tricks

Here's the order of value from lowest to highest:

Single card
Biscuit
Stew
Squad
Roast
Trick

So what's a trick? Tricks are where we'll try to reference as many DF themes as possible. A trick is also a special combination of five cards that have their own hierarchy and automatically beat any non-trick hand unless specifically noted. Your fancy trick hand will also sometimes be sabotaged by an opponents stockpile cards, but losing is fun. I have no idea what the probabilities of these cards are and with all the change conditions even someone who was good at math wouldn't bother trying to work it out. They should all be hard to get, I think. The hierarchy will be decided by what we feel is right and stronger rather than by how likely the cards are to appear in your hand. So, from lowest to highest, I so far have:

Party
÷÷☺☺☺
Barrel biscuit + dwarf stew. Two barrels and three dwarves sounds like a party to me. A lot of the time players will actively try to discourage their dwarves from partying. The undesirability of a party justifies it's low trick strength.

Dining room
∙☼••☺
Vermin + turtle + microline biscuit + dwarf. The two microline cards symbolize the table and chair that the dwarf is eating his turtle at in the vermin infested dining room. If you have adamantine unlocked this trick becomes legendary dining room, which is much higher strength because it's effectively a six card trick.

Stone-fall trap
••ÇÇg
microline biscuit + mechanism biscuit + goblin. Mechanisms cunningly set in the ceiling are loaded with stone. The goblin dodges the first but does not notice the second. Stone-fall trap trick can be defeated by any kobold or demon meal as they are trap immune.

Cage trap
♠♠ÇÇD
Tower-cap biscuit + mechanism biscuit + dragon. The tower-caps have been converted into cages and the mechanisms set. The mighty dragon is defeated. Cage trap trick can be defeated by any kobold or demon meal as they are trap immune.

Dormitory
♠♠♠☺☺
Tower-cap stew + dwarf biscuit. Three logs constructed into three beds to make a dormitory. Two dwarves are currently sleeping. Or swapping spores.

Fishing
☼☼☼☼☺
Turtle roast + dwarf. The skilled fisherdwarf pulls turtles from the murky pool by the score. So engrossed is he in fishing that he neglects to prepare any of his catch and the fortress slowly starves.

Caravan
☼♠♠♠☺
Turtle + tower-cap stew + dwarf. The dwarven caravan packed full of food arrives to save the starving fortress. The tower-caps here represent the three logs that go into building a wagon. More correctly the three logs than come from dismantling one. Caravan trick can be defeated by any goblin meal.

Ambush
☺gggg
Dwarf + goblin roast. An ambush so often follows a caravan, thus the hierarchy. Extra points to any player who yells "An ambush! Curse them!" when playing this trick. Ambush trick is defeated by any squad.

Fortress
∙•♠Ç☺
Vermin + microline + tower-cap + mechanism + dwarf. There's no place like a vermin infested, stone strewn, deforested, mechanized dwarven home. Most fortresses will be able to repel ambushes, thus the hierarchy. Might be pretty easy to get compared with the lower strength tricks but I don't think it's a major problem.

Catsplosion
cccc☺
Cat roast + dwarf. You've spent too much time eating turtles and not enough time eating kitten-tallow roasts and now the feline army has grown to menace your FPS. They've all adopted your single most popular dwarf who is also your legendary armourer. Do you risk slaughtering the cats?

Tantrum
∙∙∙∙☺
Vermin roast + dwarf. "So many purring maggots! Must kill own unsuspecting child in mindless rage!" "Own child killed by own partner! Must knock innocent mayor off bridge and into chasm!" Tantrum spiral destroys fortress.

Legendary dining room
∙☼••☺
See dining room trick. This should maybe be a more powerful trick seeing as it takes 6 cards. Or maybe not, the probabilities are all crazy anyway. I like it being right after tantrum because legendary dining rooms keep tantrums at bay.

Clearfelling
♠♠♠♠☺
tower-cap roast + dwarf. "But what about the elven accord?" "They won't know we're cutting trees underground, right?" "Oh. Yeah, I suppose you're right."

Artifact
☼•♠☺≈
turtle + microline + tower-cap + dwarf + magma. "Wow! A microline earring studded with turtle shell and decorated with hanging rings of tower-cap! Dude, you rock! But why'd you have to claim a magma workshop for this?" "Don't question my methods." No dwarf is truly complete unless they construct a ridiculously expensive knick-knack. Unfortunately the massive boost to fortress wealth often leads to the next trick.

Siege
gggg&
Goblin roast + demon. This isn't just any goblin siege. They brought their demon lawgiver this time, and he's not in a friendly mood. Soon your fortress is drowning in syndromes and burning in fire.

Drawbridge
•ÇÇÇÇ drawbridge
Microline + mechanism roast. Oh, snap! You raised your one-tile drawbridge and simply wait for the scary siege to give up and go home.

Flood the world
ÇÇÇÇ≈
Mechanism roast + magma. Not content to wait out the siege from behind your impervious drawbridge you command Urist pull the lever. That'll teach them. It's customary to shout "Fuck the world!" when playing this trick, manic laughter is optional. This trick is defeated by any demon or dragon meal.

Megaproject
••••☺
Microline roast + dwarf. You have stone, time, patience and slaves dwarves. Your creation stuns the forums and you are declared winner of DF. You never play again.

[Darvi]

I think that &>D, but that's maybe just me.

Also, Joker=~ because it solves everything.

And clearly ☺>g