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[Geb]

Address of Geb Udibtangak to the halls of Uthmukdomas, "The Shaken Guilds" Mountainhome

These mountain halls been corrupted!



We standing here at this table take pride in our work with metal and stone. A dwarf needs nothing more than that!



Take a look around you. See that dwarf over there carrying the battle axe? You think he's a soldier? Of course he's not! He's a woodcutter! He spends all his working day prancing about in the forest like some kind of elf!



And see over there? You see what all of those dwarfs are drinking? It's that stuff called "sunshine" bought from the elves! And they're drinking it from a wooden barrel! No true dwarf can tolerate such behaviour.



We must show the world how a dwarf should live. We must go far from this place and live without these filthy products of the forest. We will live by craft alone. No farming, no wood, nothing from the surface world. We will create a paradise of rock, of metal and of gemcraft. It will be glorious.





Two weeks later

"Erib...  why do we have nothing but rock nuts to eat?"

"This was the only food I could find that wasn't in wooden barrels."

"So where's the booze?"

"What booze?"

"But... it's going to take us a month to reach the new site. We must have something to drink!"

"All the booze was in wooden barrels too! I'm sorry, I checked and double checked, but there wasn't anything we could use."

"Sarek damn it all! Those bastard elves have doomed us. A month of sobriety..."

"You realise it isn't possible to brew chickens, right? We have no brewer anyway. It's going to be a lot longer than a month."

"Argh!"


Four weeks later still

"My fellow dwarves, we have arrived! Look around us!"



"Look down into that fine valley below us. Iron. Magma. Good solid mountain stone."





"We will name our new home Bungekmanthul. Strike the earth!"

"Geb, you know we don't speak the old tongue. What does that name mean?"

"Eternal Workers of Stone, a fitting name for our endeavour."

[Geb]

The Rules

mandatory:
 stoneworking, metalworking or soldiering

permitted:
 buying cave plants and their products from the caravan
 non-grazing animals

forbidden:
 wood in all forms
 booze in wooden barrels
 items in wooden bins
 surface plants
 material derived from surface plants
 grazing animals


This means no wagon, no beds, no barrels.
Any dwarf who demands wood in a strange mood will die.

[Sphalerite]

I hope your site has lots of metal.

If immigrants arrive with woodworking skills, will you be putting them in reeducation camps deep underground, or just throwing them in the magma?

ETA:  What are your thoughts on glassmaking?  Green glass only, of course.

[StLeibowitz]

Do the 'trees' growing in the caverns count as wood, really? They ARE mushrooms after all...and you need something to make beds with.

This shall be an interesting fortress, at least. Remember, you have not truly freed yourself of the elven taint until they all lay dead at your feet!

[davros]

Have fun loosing. Count me out.

[Geb]

Spring

Our first months at Bungekmanthul have proven beyond doubt that tradition and honest dwarven labour are the only route to happiness.



Mining and smoothing of stone were of course our first priorities. Work on an entrance hall began immediately.



Low quality workshops would shame us beyond measure, so our mason began making blocks for worksurfaces. With that done, the first stages of true industry could begin.

It is interesting to note that if you smash, grind, and press a rock nut, you can seperate its oil from its solids, and when you mix the oil and solids together again, you can produce twice as much food as the original nut. With no space yet mined out for forges, and no better work to do, our armoursmith has taken to experimenting with this process. Of course, I have no personal experience with this 'cooking' stuff.



I would rather go hungry than stoop to working on plant matter.





Summer



"Visitors! Ah, welcome friends! It is so wonderful to see dwarves turning away from the corrupt practices of the mountain halls to join us. Please, tell us what skills you bring to Bungekmanthul"

"Wait a moment. Bungekmanthul... Doesn't that mean..."

"Ahem. Your professions, please! I must insist."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Ah, military recruits I see. Very good. Enter, friends."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Brewer? Oh Sarek's curse... resist temptation, resist temptation...    Ahem. Yes. I cannot permit you to stay unless you are willing to learn a true dwarven profession. Perhaps stone polishing? As you can see, we have an adequates supply of drinking water, and the pleasure of industry renders alcohol unnecessary.  Gnnn.... argh..."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

HERETIC!



-----------

The crime of carpentry will be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. Those who have only been lightly corrupted my be able to reform, with a few years locked in the magma room shovelling ore into the smelters.

Glassmaking is acceptable as sand is powdered stone, though we have no pure sand on the site, only sandy loam.

Carpentry using mushroom wood is still carpentry, and must not be tolerated. We will produce beds only of stone, metal or gem... assuming somebody gets the right moment of inspiration.

[Corai]

What? The caverns are a dwarves first home, the first pit where they wallowed, they worked the stones and mushrooms to form (somewhat) great under-ground empires. Depriving a dwarf of oak or birch is holy, but of fungiwood (Okay, this could go....) and towercap, that is evil!



In other words, MUSHROOM BEDS.

[Geb]

Late Summer

As a matter of urgency, our magma access room has been adapted for use as a temporary smelting and forging area.

The woodworking scum has been forbidden to talk to the others. We permit her to leave the smelter once per day for food and drink, and the rest of the time, she breaks hematite to shovel it into the furnaces.





All of the fortress has seen her fate, as we haul ore up to the room. All agree that the punishment is fitting, but fair. She will be permitted to rejoin society and work in a proper workshop once she has renounced her woodworking ways.



Autumn

A true metalworking hall, with fine dwarven architecture and design, is being carved into the mountain.



WORK PROGRESSES AT FULL SPEED! The satisfaction of industry is all we need, and if we must drink from a stagnant pool to enjoy it, then we are happy to do so.






Late Autumn

Sarek preserve us, this is a glorious day! The traders have arrived at last! Please say you have booze... please say you have booze... please say you have booze...



Oh you utter bastards.

[Geb]

Early Winter

The many fine features and crafts in our entrance hall have been raising the morale of all living here. Our most recent visitors note the fine craftdwarfship of our tables and depot.





A few months of work in the furnaces have done much to rehabilitate young Cerol. She has demonstrated a commendable enthusiasm for her new profession as a smelter and forge assistant, so once the new metalsmithing hall is complete, we shall allow her to rejoin society.



Beneath the hall, the miners have completed the magma ducts. The mechanic and armoursmith have been cooperating on superb iron floodgates to direct the magma flow. Such wonders of dwarven engineering bring a happy tear to the eye!



The temporary smithy has now been put to its original intended purpose. The magma access room has become a control station to regulate the magma flow into the ducts.



Iron working, fine iron mechanisms, mining, architecture, engraving... all combine to give us the satisfaction of seeing magma flow into our newest work hall.



Late Winter

"Look, there are pots full of plump helmets right there! You said yourself it was ok to buy them. There are empty pots. There's a worktable over there that nobody's using. Please let me brew some wine!"

"I...   you...   how are your studies progressing?"

"I'm not going to give up on the stone polishing! I'll go straight back to it after I make the wine! Just please, give me a few hours to spare. It will make everybody else so much happier."

"Oh come now, we're not going to be tempted by...  hnn....   Gnn... "

"We've been sober for over a year now!"

"...alright. You have 12 hours. Not a minute more. I want to see you back to practicing encrusting goods first thing tomorrow morning."

[Geb]

Spring, 412

"Look, I'm telling you it was an elf. What else could it have been? It was about a quarter of a urist tall, gibbering, smelly and trying to steal our stuff. That sounds like an elf to me."




 -----


"Ahh, this cooking is really quite fun, guys. Maybe I should call myself a cook instead of a mason! Haha!"

"NO! You are a dwarf, not some plant-working heathen! Get back to that rock pile and make some bricks, damnit!"




 -----


"Lad, this is a happy day for us all, for a new worker joins our ranks in the brotherhood of true dwarfs. Now then, would you like to be apprenticed to master Cog as a miner? Or maybe you would like to be apprenticed to me as a smith, or master Asen as a mason?"

"Um..."

"Or you could become our fort's first glassmaker, and work by yourself, unsupervised in the magma room"

"I'll take that one!"





Summer





"Excuse me, everybody? I have something I would like to say. I've been thinking about this for a long time. I finished off that last batch of crafts, like you told me to, and I must admit... the stone really speaks to my artistic spirit. I'm becoming good at this. I think... yes. I think I am ready to call myself a jeweler."

"Good for you, Udil!"

"This is wonderful news! Congratulations, Udil, you join us as a true brother of the fortress!"

"Now our family is complete. Every dwarf in the fortress, save the babies in their mothers arms, is a worker of stone, of metal, or of the combat arts. Bungekmanthul is entirely free of the corruption of the outside world! Rejoice!"



"... godsdamnit."

[Arni]

No wood makes complete sense... but why the lack of booze? That's just cruel.

You have underground crops. And you have nice rock pots. Combine in a still. Receive booze.

[Geb]

No wood makes complete sense... but why the lack of booze? That's just cruel.

You have underground crops. And you have nice rock pots. Combine in a still. Receive booze.

Brewing is allowed, but not farming or plant gathering. Even farming in a cave is dangerously elvish. I only get brewable food items once per year when the dwarf caravan comes.

[Gamerlord]

No wood makes complete sense... but why the lack of booze? That's just cruel.

You have underground crops. And you have nice rock pots. Combine in a still. Receive booze.

Brewing is allowed, but not farming or plant gathering. Even farming in a cave is dangerously elvish. I only get brewable food items once per year when the dwarf caravan comes.

What about beekeeping. It's fairly dwarfish, you're enslaving a small society of insects in order to feed yourselves.

[Geb]

No wood makes complete sense... but why the lack of booze? That's just cruel.

You have underground crops. And you have nice rock pots. Combine in a still. Receive booze.

Brewing is allowed, but not farming or plant gathering. Even farming in a cave is dangerously elvish. I only get brewable food items once per year when the dwarf caravan comes.

What about beekeeping. It's fairly dwarfish, you're enslaving a small society of insects in order to feed yourselves.

A dwarf of Bungekmanthul isn't supposed to have pets that need to be taken outside to eat surface filth. That's mainly so that no dwarf needs to work in the sunlight tending them. Bees might be acceptable, since their hives can be kept inside... but do you really expect any of our brothers of stone and iron to be strolling through the marsh looking at trees to find a hive? Never! Heresy! Elvishness!

... maybe the soldiers will spot one if duty calls them out.

[Corai]

Still, towercap is dwarfy. Its a freaking mushroom without the word "wood" in it at all!