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[Blargityblarg]

Does it... does it taste like anything? I can't fathom the concept of a pot full of water, chicken and dumplings (which I assume are just flour, water and fat themselves) with naught but salt and pepper for seasoning tasting like... well, very much at all.

Not to rain on your parade (or insult Carolina SUperior in any way, no sir, learned that lesson, still have scars from the experience) but I am just flummoxed.

[RedKing]

Well you have a very rich chicken broth created from boiling the whole chicken. That broth (plus salt and pepper) becomes the foundation for the whole thing, plus the gluten from the dumplings, which thickens it into a peppery chicken slurry. And the texture of the dumplings themselves is very nice.

It's not a complex flavor profile or anything, but then neither is chicken noodle soup. But much like chicken noodle soup, chicken pastry is pure comfort food. Especially when it's cold as balls outside.

[Bauglir]

I have been gifted with the perfect recipe for mashed potatoes, which I will now share with you.

5 pounds potatoes (peeled or not, as you like)
1/2 pound sour cream
1/4 pound cream cheese
1/4 pound butter
1/2 pound cheese (I recommend cheddar for this, but likely anything will do)
Salt and pepper to taste (about 1/4 teaspoon of each is a good starting place)

Chop your potatoes into cubes. If leaving skins on, as you should for maximum textural deliciousness, you'll want fairly small ones to break up the skin bits. Boil them for 30 to 45 minutes, until they're softened. Drain off the water, then return them to the pot they boiled in, leaving them off heat. Mash them to your desired consistency. Chunks are good to leave in, but if you like them smoother, go ahead. Only once this has been achieved do you add your cream cheese and butter, then stir until these have melted in and are well incorporated. Add your sour cream now, and get everything well mixed. Transfer the entire contents of the pot to a slow cooker, whose surfaces you have buttered prior to this step. Get the top vaguely smooth, then top with your cheese, set the slow cooker to Low heat, and come back in 4 hours. If you like crispy cheese, leave the lid off, but if you prefer gooey cheese that easily combines with the potatoes, leave the lid off.

Not complicated, or healthy, but oh my god yes.

[nenjin]

Does it... does it taste like anything? I can't fathom the concept of a pot full of water, chicken and dumplings (which I assume are just flour, water and fat themselves) with naught but salt and pepper for seasoning tasting like... well, very much at all.

Not to rain on your parade (or insult Carolina SUperior in any way, no sir, learned that lesson, still have scars from the experience) but I am just flummoxed.

As he said, water is a medium you can do a lot with. With enough heat and reduction it intensifies flavors and thickens into a sauce. I just made stroganoff which is basically just a stew made adding flour to meat, water, onions and a couple seasonsings. Cooked long enough and reduced far enough, it becomes a gravy.

I only say something because as I was making I was reflecting, man, flour and cooking in general is like magic. Something that is literally just protein, water, and vegetable matter that doesn't blend at all suddenly becomes this magical stew, simply because of flour and some heat.

[RedKing]

Does it... does it taste like anything? I can't fathom the concept of a pot full of water, chicken and dumplings (which I assume are just flour, water and fat themselves) with naught but salt and pepper for seasoning tasting like... well, very much at all.

Not to rain on your parade (or insult Carolina SUperior in any way, no sir, learned that lesson, still have scars from the experience) but I am just flummoxed.

As he said, water is a medium you can do a lot with. With enough heat and reduction it intensifies flavors and thickens into a sauce. I just made stroganoff which is basically just a stew made adding flour to meat, water, onions and a couple seasonsings. Cooked long enough and reduced far enough, it becomes a gravy.

I only say something because as I was making I was reflecting, man, flour and cooking in general is like magic. Something that is literally just protein, water, and vegetable matter that doesn't blend at all suddenly becomes this magical stew, simply because of flour and some heat.

Spoiler: Relevant. (click to show/hide)

[Sappho]

Tonight I discovered what happens if you put in too much potato starch trying to thicken your sauce.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It turns into boogers. Or, at least, it develops a distinctly booger-like consistency.

[GiglameshDespair]

I don't have any flour or stuff like that, so i add a little bit of rice to thicken my stews and the like.

[scrdest]

Tonight I discovered what happens if you put in too much potato starch trying to thicken your sauce.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It turns into boogers. Or, at least, it develops a distinctly booger-like consistency.

Heh. Savory Kissel. Try to do that with fruits, it's a moderately popular dessert over here.

[Helgoland]

Not complicated, or healthy, but oh my god yes.

Have you tried putting nutmeg in there? Everyone I know makes mashed potatoes with a bit of nutmeg...

[Bauglir]

In honor of exams, I thought I'd share with you a useful recipe that has gotten me through many a final. I may have posted this elsewhere, but here we go anyway.

Spoiler: Vegan Energy Chili (click to show/hide)

1 large, yellow onion
2 stalks celery
1 red bell pepper
1 jalapeno pepper
1 habanero pepper
5 mushrooms
5 cloves garlic
1/2 eggplant
1 box (6 patties) vegan "sausage" patties, ideally maple-flavored
1 can (14 oz) stewed tomatoes
1 can (1 lb 12 oz) crushed tomatoes
1 can (1 lb 14 oz) beans of any kind, drained of bean juice
1 can (16 oz) energy drink (I prefer Rock Star, but do what thou wilt)
2 200 mg caffeine tablets
Salt
Ground pepper and ginger
Crushed red pepper
Textured Vegetable Protein and/or Vegetable Juice to thicken to desired consistency
~3 tbsp cooking oil

Chop the onion, celery, and bell pepper. Fry in the oil. Meanwhile, chop the remaining peppers, mushroom, and garlic, and add to the other vegetables. Then, chop up your eggplant. Salt the pieces, toss them around a bit in a strainer, then run them under cold water. Then add them to the other vegetables. By this point, everything should be well-cooked. Move it all into a slow-cooker, then add your desired amounts of salt, pepper, ginger, and red pepper. Pour in your energy drink, then the rest of your canned goods, and crush in the caffeine tablets. Cut the "sausage" patties into quarters, then add them as well. If the result is too thin, add TVP to thicken. If too thick, add vegetable juice to thin. Simmer for about 2 hours.

Remember you're not actually a vegan, and top each bowl with loads of sour cream and cheese.

I was going to take pictures, but once again my computer decided it was having none of that, so this is all I can give. You can probably substitute whatever vegetables are convenient for the celery and eggplant, and you could do this in a large pot on your stove instead of a slow-cooker, on low to medium heat for a shorter length of time. Substituting stock and roux for the tomatoes and beans will probably produce a reasonable gumbo, although I have no idea how that'll gel with the sweeteners.

[Duuvian]

I saw the thread title, and I thought of Potato Pearls. Mashed potatoes that take less time to make than raman noodles. Boil water, stir and pour in small amounts until it looks like mashed potatoes. Best part is they actually taste like mashed potatoes without a strange taste, unlike all other kinds of instant mashed potato products I've tried.

Spoiler: Big image of Potato Pearls (click to show/hide)

That milk carton looking container makes 20 pounds of mashed potatoes and most importantly is cheap.

[MaximumZero]

Where the hell do you buy those? I've never seen them, but I would eat more mashed potatoes if I had those.

[GiglameshDespair]

And I would not. Mashed potatoes are a terrible thing.

[Blargityblarg]

And I would not. Mashed potatoes are a terrible thing.

Sounds like someone who's only ever encountered crappy mashed potatoes.

edit: not to imply that the packaged version aren't crapy, of course; I personally wouldn't touch them with a ten-foor pole; so many more cheap, easily prepared carbohydrates with more variety of flavouring available.

[GiglameshDespair]

Nah, I just don't really like potatoes. They taste of blandness and dullness, much like Kendal Mint Cake tastes of being old. Chips (fries to Americans, I believe) and roasties are alright, but mashed, new, and boiled potatoes are impossibly dull to eat. I can only realyl tolerate potatoes when they're drowned in gravy.

Rice is much better than potatoes will ever be.