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[acetech09]

While at the store getting reese's puffs, I was struck by the urge to cook something. I haven't done any real cooking in years, when I stopped, however, I was pretty good... summer job as a sous chef at a haute-cuisine french restaurant.

Spoiler: A cooking adventure in narrative, spontaneous, stream-of-thought form: (click to show/hide)

Haven't gone shopping in a while so kitchen was quite empty. Decided to shoot for a low-parts-count dish.
Milled around the meat section looking for what was on sale. Pork chops. Looks good.
On to spices. *remembers* Pork, pork, spices for pork... umm... ah. Parsley. Oregano. Sea salt. Thyme. Coriander. Done.
It'll need a glaze. I remember I have an unopened jar of apricot jam at home. That'll do. Just need some brandy... damn. I'm not 21 yet. Nevermind. Will try to work around that.
Starch side? Risotto. *in rice section* Arborio, arborio... freakin' kidding me? No arborio? Fine. *gathers ingredients for a risotto with regular rice. This'll be interesting but should work.*
I have some zucchinis in the garden at home. Will sauté those up.

*beep* *beep* *beep* *unexpected item in bagging area* WHAT? shut up, machine. *beep* *beep*

Get home.
Remove & season pork.
Boil rice.
Olive oil in pan.
Heat pan.
Insert pork into pan.
Slice zucchini.
Mince garlic.
Insert butter and garlic into another pan.
Heat that pan.
Flip pork.
Add zucchini to pan.
Turn rice into pseudo-sotto.
Take pork off heat, wrap in aluminum foil and into oven on low.
Apricot jam and some... not brandy... err... Balsamic vinegar into glass bowl.
Glass bowl in microwave, 50% power for 2:00.
Stir zucchini. Almost done.
Stir risotto. Almost done.
Plate pork.
Plate zucchini.
Plate pseudo-sotto.
Plate glaze.

Tadaa:

Pork was perfectly cooked, which really surprised me. Glaze went well - the vinegar cut that jam pretty well. Could've still used the brandy. Pseudo-sotto held up , to my surprise. Good there. And the garden zucchini was as expected.

Turns out that I can still make a pretty delicious dish from scratch without any reference. Cooking: I guess it's like riding a bicycle?

[MaximumZero]

Riding bicycles is delicious?

[acetech09]

Riding bicycles is delicious?

No, it's that cooking is made possible by the physics of angular momentum.

But, yes. that too.

[Caz]

This is the delicious feta sandwich. It is made of feta, kale, and herb-sprinkled tomatoes. The bread is warmly toasted.

Best dinner that can be had for a 3-minute prep time. Just enough waiting to make a glorious cup of tea.

[GiglameshDespair]

Anyone here cooked hearts before?
I saw some human definately lamb hearts in my local Aztec supermarket and I'm wondering how I should cook them. I was thinking I'd use my slowcooker and stew them with onions and carrots, but I was wondering if any of your guys had had them before?

[Tack]

I'm going to try cooking steak Sous-Vide* for the first time next weekend, hopefully.

This is all part of my plan to make the Adventure Time God Sandwich. (I would embed but our internet hit cap so i kind of can't.)

*Sous Vide = Under Vacuum. Cooked at roughly 55*c or 135*F for many hours

[Mesa]

Anyone here cooked hearts before?
I saw some human definately lamb hearts in my local Aztec supermarket and I'm wondering how I should cook them. I was thinking I'd use my slowcooker and stew them with onions and carrots, but I was wondering if any of your guys had had them before?

...You sure didn't mean Asian supermarket? :v

Also, I sometimes get the feeling that Polish cuisine is really bland compared to eevrything else. (our schabowy is better than your cutlet, though!)
inb4 Haspen PMs me about me being anti-patriotic

[Bauglir]

Beef hearts are great. Cook them like you would a roast or steak or something. They're pretty versatile. Very lean, once you trim off the surface fat. Kind of on the tough side, so slow-cooking or roasting would be good, but they're perfectly edible pan-fried. Good chopped up and added to sauces and stuff, as well.

[Grey Goo]

Cheese omettele pockets or whatever you like to call them. You need from two to four stardard sized chicken eggs, salt, black pepper, tarragon, butter and few slices cheese of your choice. Also frying pan.

Warm up frying pan and spread the butter. Break eggs into pan and break the yolk. Place cheese, tarragon, black pepper and salt. Make sure you pan isn't too hot. Fry until egg is semi-solid and turn half-way to form pocket. Wait until this side is solid and then turn whole thing around while praying. You may now also turn your oven off.

After while you may place your mess into plate and place piece of lettuce if liked. Serve with tea of your choice. You can also put this inside half of rolls or other kind of bread. Enjoy..

[Aptus]

Felt the need for something spicy again so I made a chicken stew.

Protein:
Chicken Filets

Greens
Broccoli
Green peas
Capsicum
Corn

Spices
Salt
Black pepper
Thyme
A little bit of cinnamon
Trinidad Moruga Scorpion Chile

Use a cast iron pot, put some butter in and heat up. Fry the chicken for a while in the butter and then put in all the greens. Cook around for a little bit and then add coconut milk and all the spices. Then simply let it stew for 45 minutes to an hour. Serve with jasmine rice.
If the stew gets too watery (for example from using frozen greens in combination with the coconut milk) just add a table spoon or two of flour and it will tie right up. (Takes a while so don't just add more if nothing is happening, it takes several minutes and if you add too much you just get paste.)

I used Cajohn's Moruga Scorpion hot sauce for the chile part, I have used dried and shredded Naga Bhut Jolokia as well in previous cooks but the moruga scorpion has a better taste in my opinion. Just remember to wash your hands after you handle it, you do not want this stuff in your eyes.

[Telgin]

We have an office Thanksgiving party/meal/thing today, so I volunteered to bake a pumpkin pound cake for it.  I was already making two more for other Thanksgiving meals for the family, so it wasn't a big deal to mix up another.  Well, I thought so anyway, since I was up to 3 AM this morning finishing that cake and only baking one of the other two.

More to the point, I have learned that I really do hate making ganache.  Especially white chocolate ganache.  You have to buy more expensive special white chocolate to make it at all, because normal white chocolate chips lack the fats needed to make it set apparently.  Even still, it is apparently an art to get it to the right consistency.  I spent two hours off and on adding more and more white chocolate to the mixture to get it to thicken up enough to use.  At least I was doing other things, so it wasn't as big a time sink as it might have otherwise been.

While I was letting it chill to thicken up enough to put it on the first cake, I decided it might be best to just give it a cursory sniff.  To my horror, it smelled astoundingly like vomit.

Apparently my whipping cream had gone sour.  Not enough to curdle, but enough to smell and taste terrible.

Thank goodness I had some regular frosting sitting around... and that I decided to sniff and taste it before putting it on anything...

[Caz]

Apparently my whipping cream had gone sour.  Not enough to curdle, but enough to smell and taste terrible.

Thank goodness I had some regular frosting sitting around... and that I decided to sniff and taste it before putting it on anything...

Damn, lucky break. I'm gonna make a pumpkin pie and maybe a pecan pie for thanksgiving. We don't do it here but this family is americanized or something.

Mm, turkey.

[Tellemurius]

Anyone here cooked hearts before?
I saw some human definately lamb hearts in my local Aztec supermarket and I'm wondering how I should cook them. I was thinking I'd use my slowcooker and stew them with onions and carrots, but I was wondering if any of your guys had had them before?

...You sure didn't mean Asian supermarket? :v

Also, I sometimes get the feeling that Polish cuisine is really bland compared to eevrything else. (our schabowy is better than your cutlet, though!)
inb4 Haspen PMs me about me being anti-patriotic

Borscht pretty much sums up Polish cuisine though flaki is a great one for me.

Heart takes a damn long time to stew over, i mean this is the toughest meat in a body, its very lean and got a bloody taste to it.

[scrdest]

Anyone here cooked hearts before?
I saw some human definately lamb hearts in my local Aztec supermarket and I'm wondering how I should cook them. I was thinking I'd use my slowcooker and stew them with onions and carrots, but I was wondering if any of your guys had had them before?

...You sure didn't mean Asian supermarket? :v

Also, I sometimes get the feeling that Polish cuisine is really bland compared to eevrything else. (our schabowy is better than your cutlet, though!)
inb4 Haspen PMs me about me being anti-patriotic

Borscht pretty much sums up Polish cuisine though flaki is a great one for me.

Heart takes a damn long time to stew over, i mean this is the toughest meat in a body, its very lean and got a bloody taste to it.

I think, based on experience, that if you decided to claim that either Poles or Ukrainians invented Borscht, you'd be raided by the irate members of the other nationality.

I actually hate flaki with a passion, and nobody ever managed to convince me it's not an utter abomination, but pierogi, especially done properly, are great. In fact, I guess I'll go eat some for dinner on Thursday.

[RedKing]

Made chicken pastry today (eastern NC variant of chicken and dumplings)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ingredients:
1 Chicken
1 package of slick dumplings
Water
Salt
Pepper


Yes, you could make the dumplings from scratch but that's a bit more than I felt like putting into it. Instead of a whole chicken, I used a 4.5 lb package of chicken thighs. Boil the chicken in 4-5 quarts of water for about 90 minutes or so, until it just falls completely apart. Take the chicken out and set in a pan to cool a bit. Once cool enough to handle, tear the meat into small chunks and remove the bones, gristle and skin. Discard gristle and skin (I fed the skin to the pets). Toss the bones back into the pot and boil for another 10 minutes or so. Remove the bones and skim off whatever fat you can. Add liberal amounts of salt and pepper to the broth. Bring back to a full boil and start tossing in your dumplings, 9 or so at a time. DO NOT STIR. Once the water begins to boil again, add another 9 dumplings. Repeat until all the dumplings are in. Boil for 10 more minutes. Add the cooked chicken back in and boil for another few minutes. Remove from heat and let sit 20-30 minutes (gives the dumplings time to swell and the gluten to thicken the broth).

Time-consuming but easy. And makes an absolute metric fuckton of food. I'll be eating on this for weeks.