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Author Topic: Food Thread: Kitchen Chemistry  (Read 577148 times)

MaximumZero

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Re: Food Thread: hipster chow
« Reply #465 on: January 31, 2013, 07:14:28 pm »

I'm eating some delicious-ass salsa. And it's local, so I get this nice sense of superiority while I eat it.
I'm not even going to ask what goes into ass salsa....



Personally, I've never liked salsa (probably because the texture of tomato chunks triggers my gag reflex). Now salsa picante (the thin stuff that's basically crushed peppers in marinara), that I dig.
I have no need of salsa. I have sriracha.
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Osmosis Jones

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Re: Food Thread: hipster chow
« Reply #466 on: January 31, 2013, 08:44:55 pm »

You know what's fun to make? Chicken soup. Did that last sunday, and it turned out perfectly.

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MaximumZero

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Re: Food Thread: hipster chow
« Reply #467 on: January 31, 2013, 11:59:34 pm »

I made delicious MANLY chili, and I'm willing to share the wealth.

INSTRUCTIONS (to be read aloud in a manly-man voice):
1lb Ground Beef (I used Chuck. Chuck is manly.)
1/2lb Ground Spicy Italian Sausage. (Also manly.)

Brown 'em in a skillet. Make sure the meat chunks are broken down uniformly. Drain the grease, you won't be needing it.

Get a big-ass pot. (Seriously, get a big one. This will make enough chili to feed a small army. An army of eight normal people or five-six big eaters.)

Insert: 1 medium sized (12oz, I think) can of smooth tomato sauce. (I used Hunt's, but prefer Rotel.) Fill it with water, and then dump that in, too.
1 smallish can (8oz, I think) of tomato sauce. Do the water thing again. Do it like a man this time.
2 small cans (2oz, I think) of tomato paste. (Hunt's again.)
2 cans of hot chili beans (I used Brooks Hot and Spicy).
~4-5 tbsp Chili Powder.
~2tbsp onion powder.
~2tbsp garlic powder.
~2tbsp black pepper.
~1 tsp salt.
~1 tsp cumin.

I would have used White pepper and ground red pepper in addition to all of that, but I didn't have any. If you're making this for yourself and you can stand the heat, add ~1/4 cup of sriracha. The flavor and heat are both very complimentary.

Stir it up until it's nice and uniform, then taste. If it's missing something, add more of whatever it's missing. Use pepper first. I almost always wind up adding a little more pepper. Stir in the meat. Stir a little more. Stir like you mean it.

Let it simmer, uncovered, for 20-30 minutes to reduce. Stir every few minutes to keep shit from sticking to the bottom of the pot.

Once it's thick enough to be to your liking, put it in bowls. Garnish with saltine crackers and sharp cheddar cheese. Eat, and let loose manly tears at the mild heat, the intense flavor, and the stuff in the spicy sausage that always sneaks up on you.

Bon appetit, you stud you.
« Last Edit: February 01, 2013, 12:03:05 am by MaximumZero »
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Sirus

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Re: Food Thread: hipster chow
« Reply #468 on: February 01, 2013, 12:41:29 am »

What's better than cake?

Birthday cake, that's what.
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Bauglir

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Re: Food Thread: hipster chow
« Reply #469 on: February 01, 2013, 01:21:40 am »

I've made a fairly manly stew. Gather vegetables. What kind doesn't matter much, just make sure there's some onions and tomatoes in there. Put them in a pot with some chicken, or beef. Or really anything that used to be part of an animal and hasn't already been digested since then. Put them in a slow cooker with some liquid. What kind doesn't matter much (are you seeing a theme here?) so long as it isn't terribly sweet or fruity - you can go about as sweet as coconut milk before it starts to be a problem, and anything that tastes fruity (even a dry red wine, in quantity) is probably a bad plan. Liquor probably is a bad strategy as well, due to its low boiling point and tendency to burst into flames at high temperatures if it sees a spark. Also, you proably don't want to get trashed while eating a bowl. Throw in a shitload of curry spices. I used probably a tablespoon of cumin and liberal dashes of turmeric, cardamom, allspice, ginger, black pepper, anise seed, and garlic. Throw some chili peppers in there. Let it cook for the next 4 hours or so. Whenever you get food out, throw some more ingredients in and top up the seasonings every once in a while. Make sure it boils a couple of times each day. Rejoice in never having to spend more time cooking than it takes to chop up some stuff, and you never have to clean the pot because you never stop using it.

With any luck, you won't be able to taste anything but delicious seasonings and the occasional mushroom, potato, or kale leaf. Everything else should just dissolve by the time it's been in there a day or three. Spoon it over some kind of cooked grain, like rice (but probably not corn - good ingredient though!), to bulk it up and make it last longer.

Warning: not responsible for food poisoning. I suppose using booze would solve that. Come to think of it, I should make this with beer...
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penguinofhonor

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Re: Food Thread: hipster chow
« Reply #470 on: February 01, 2013, 02:47:59 am »

My friend's mom makes leftovers stew pretty frequently. One time she put sauerkraut in it. I'd advise against doing that.
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Scelly9

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Re: Food Thread: hipster chow
« Reply #471 on: February 01, 2013, 03:33:52 am »

I have craving for chicken noodle soup now. Will report back in a while. Homemade noodles are the best. That is all.
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penguinofhonor

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Re: Food Thread: hipster chow
« Reply #472 on: February 01, 2013, 03:53:32 am »

It's great. We made some completely homemade tortellinis and they were amazing.
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Caz

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Re: Food Thread: hipster chow
« Reply #473 on: February 01, 2013, 06:08:47 am »

I've made a fairly manly stew.

Lentils would go good in that, and a bit of coriander seed. I made a similar thing and dubbed it "chilli fucking chicken soup" it was the colour of molten rock and tasted of the heavens.
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penguinofhonor

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Re: Food Thread: hipster chow
« Reply #474 on: February 07, 2013, 08:11:05 pm »

I just ate a ham, cheese, and mushroom omelette. I fucking love everything about mushrooms. Except when they're in meatloaf. I tried them there, and they didn't hurt the dish but it was impossible to tell that they'd been added at all.

Also yesterday I made some ginger chicken using this recipe. It was okay, and I'm probably not going to make it again since deboning and deskinning chicken was a lot of effort, but here's my theorized fixed recipe for the sauce in case I do:

Ginger Chicken
For slightly over 1.5 pounds of chicken to be cut into bite sized bits (it was 1.7 including skin/bones):
3 tablespoons honey
3 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons sake
2 tablespoons ginger
1 tablespoon brown sugar
Some amount of lemongrass.
Marinate it for an hour instead of the original time.

Also, future penguinofhonor, you should remember to make some rice or asian noodles alongside this to compliment it.
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nenjin

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Re: Food Thread: hipster chow
« Reply #475 on: February 07, 2013, 08:24:21 pm »

Work ordered these Vietnamese sandwiches for lunch today. Crusty baguettes, with fresh carrots, onions, cilantro, and chicken, beef or pork sauteed or stewed in some kind of Vietnamese magic. And a jalapeno landmine on some for spice.   
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Osmosis Jones

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Re: Food Thread: hipster chow
« Reply #476 on: February 07, 2013, 09:16:25 pm »

Work ordered these Vietnamese sandwiches for lunch today. Crusty baguettes, with fresh carrots, onions, cilantro, and chicken, beef or pork sauteed or stewed in some kind of Vietnamese magic. And a jalapeno landmine on some for spice.

<3 Vietnamese bakers. They stole the secrets of good bread from the Frenchies, and then made it better!
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WealthyRadish

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Re: Food Thread: hipster chow
« Reply #477 on: February 08, 2013, 03:32:11 am »

Lately I've been making something I call Mexican lasagna, using enchilada sauce, refried beans, corn tortillas, cheese, and whatever else is around. It's basically enchiladas without any of the stupid crap like 'structure' and 'variable texture'.
For the sauce, I've been using roasted chili powder and flour added to onions fried in olive oil, which does the job and only takes about 10 minutes to make. I have yet to work out a good refried bean recipe, thanks partially to an undisclosed penguin, so I've been using canned pinto and black mixed together. The corn tortillas need to be of the coarse and vulgar kind that one wouldn't eat in polite company, as softer ones would probably just melt. Anyway, with alternating layers of beans, cheese, and other random stuff, all smothered in sauce and sammiched by tortilla, it basically turns into an 8 lb blobular orgasm, and costs less than $10 to make.

Aside from that, I've been making waffles, orange/lemon chicken, a black bean/rice soup, and the occasional coffee cake.
Oh, and oatmeal. But nobody cares about oatmeal.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2013, 03:34:06 am by UrbanGiraffe »
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nenjin

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Re: Food Thread: hipster chow
« Reply #478 on: February 08, 2013, 12:27:29 pm »

For refried beans I don't do anything terribly fancy, but:

-1 Can El Paso Refriend beans
-2 strips of bacon

Fry up the bacon and dice it up very fine. Save the bacon grease.
Add the bacon bits and bacon grease to the beans, stir well, perhaps microwave for 30 seconds to get it blended.
Season with garlic, onion powder, paprika, cumin or anything else you find tasty.
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Cautivo del Milagro seamos, Penitente.
Quote from: Viktor Frankl
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Quote from: Sindain
Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight.
Quote from: Eric Blank
How will I cheese now assholes?
Quote from: MrRoboto75
Always spaghetti, never forghetti

MaximumZero

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Re: Food Thread: hipster chow
« Reply #479 on: February 08, 2013, 12:45:54 pm »

Girlfriend is still raving about my chili. I'm going to add bacon. It's going to become the food of the gods.
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