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[timferius]

To my horror, I discovered that Gaston had overcooked my foie gras last night. Obviously I refused to eat such peasant food and fed it to the dogs. I'm honestly this close to firing Gaston now, does anyone have any recommendations for a proper personal chef? It doesn't matter where, I can fly them in easily enough, I'm just sick of Gastons shit. Can you believe he tried to feed me day old fish yesterday? If it's not a fresh catch, why even bother putting it on my plate, seriously.

[SirQuiamus]

God, my stomach is killing me! I shouldn't have sprinkled eight ounces of gold dust on that sundae.

[timferius]

I'm just going to assume you meant your cook shouldn't have. Anyways, I recommend black truffle on your sundae next time.

[GiglameshDespair]

My motto is "If a peasant could afford it without a mortgage, it isn't proper food." For a gentleman of refinement, we can't eat the same sort of tripe a serf would eat, can I?

[timferius]

As I always say, it's not real food if the people who MAKE your food eat it!

[SirQuiamus]

I'm actually rich enough to hire qualified professionals who eat my food for me, and I also pay them for going to the bathroom on my behalf. As for myself, I subsist entirely on the blood of the proletariat.

[Sappho]

Can anyone recommend a good resource for hiring replacement help? Mine have been in the family for decades, but yesterday evening I was entertaining the Burundian ambassador, and when we arrived at the dining room table, I spotted a salad fork out of place. There are some indignities that one can simply not be expected to suffer. I don't know exactly whose fault this faux pas was, so I was left with no choice but to let go the entire staff first thing this morning. Except for my butler, Pimplington, whom I kept on in order to write this message, and who will be let go of as soon as it is posted.

YEAH WELL FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID BITCH, I'VE BEEN PISSING IN THE SOUP FOR YEARS.

[GiglameshDespair]

Personally, I wouldn't have let them go -that's a bit drastic. You merely need to give them a savage flogging to remind them who their betters are.

[nenjin]

My help needs to be limber. I require my meals served on their backs whilst they're grovel on all fours....until i'm bloody well done eating.

[Levi]

The carrots added a bit of sweetness that countered the sharpness of the tomatoes.

Hmm, I might have to try this sometime. 

So far my best spaghetti happened when I had some hot green peppers that my roommate bought that we both hated in everything we had it in, but felt we should keep using them anyway and so tossed them in.  For some reason those peppers ruined every meal except for our spaghetti, which somehow turned into something amazing.

[Rose]

Made latkes for the first time today. Had them with home-made sour cream.

They were delicious.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

What do with ground venison?

[GiglameshDespair]

Dilute it with other meat - perhaps pork - a few cranberries, and a little blanched onion. Make into burgers.
Eat.

Generally you have to dilute venison, or else it's overpowering.

[penguinofhonor]

.

[GiglameshDespair]

It still tastes gamey, but not quite as powerfully. It's really nice.

A chilli is alright, but then it's taking second stage to the chilli, rather than being the main focus. I prefer things without huge quantities of spices or seasonings.