The only thing people all seem to agree on is the importance of bringing a grower or two
I disagree with this.
I agree with your disagreement; a grower is hardly necessary, as you often get one in the first two migrant waves anyway, and you don't need to establish farms before autumn anyway if you bring enough food and drink, and even later than that if you surface plants to gather or go to the caverns early to gather there.
Some people even prefer going without any skills at all. Dwarf labor is extremely cheap and plentiful, while early on some materials can be difficult to come by, and if your starting seven aren't actually any better than migrants at their designated jobs you aren't as likely to value them highly, letting you avoid depression if they die.
Overall, there's about as many embark profiles as there are players. Probably more, actually.
Personally, I bring 2 dwarves with 1 level of ambusher that become soldiers, 1 dwarf with proficient weapon and armor smithing, 1 dwarf with 2 levels in every medical skill (except crutch walking), and 1 dwarf with social skills for a broker. The other 2 are unskilled peasants on embark. Then, I bring 1 pick, a bunch of food and wood, and enough bronze-making supplies to make 3 more picks, equip my soldiers with full armor, and make a spare axe or two.