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[Itnetlolor]

Ran out of booze, didn't know about drinking zones, you know the rest.

[Alidus]

I had a siege that I was sick of looking at with armored kobolds and trolls waltzing around on my traps like they were fluffy tickling devices. I had over 200 dwarves but it was a bit early and only 10 of them were military.

I just said "I'm tired of looking at you guys lounging around out there. OPEN THE GATES!" Kobolds and trolls come flooding into my fortress and there was an epic battle in the courtyard. Every last kobold and troll was in fact slaughtered - after a fashion - but about 70 dwarfs were killed in the process. Every single dwarf that was left was either unhappy or miserable afterwards.

[Loud Whispers]

1. Giant Badgers. I eventually won. A masterwork Giant Badger bone helmet was awarded to my greatest warrior - a Hammerdwarf who fought valiantly against the badgers.

2. /accidentally release all of them in the middle of my fort/

3. Retreat to the other side of the river, 40 Dwarves died.

4. Goblins attack that side of the river

5. River froze

6. Goblins and Giant Badgers everywhere

7. One by one the heroes succumb to their injuries

8. Clinging to dear life with a vengeance and two Dwarves

9. Accidentally let the goblins in

[DwarfMeister]

I wouldn't say that this was my first, but I had a fortress that I was totally lovin'. It looked like something out of ancient Greece (Rome?), complete with a beautiful indoor pool that had a bridge running across it and some stone statues at the corners. Anyway, I wanted to build some wells in the Great Chamber, so I channelled some holes for the wells and had my miner build some up/down stairs behind the wall (to access the pool of water, which gets refilled by the river). He busted through the wall and BLAM!!! The water forced it's way through and exploded his head against the wall. It then proceeded to flood the ENTIRE bottom of my fortress.

What fun!!!

[Cook]

I caved in and kill my miners instantly it was awesome

[Squanto]

First time I played, I had no defenses at all thand I was sieged.  Though, I am finally going to have my first real !!FUN!! because I finally got the candy sword on an embark.

[CandyOreVein]

My first !!FUN!! moment was having all my dwarves in my dining hall and going "I think I should channel out the ceiling to let light in". Cave in killed everyone. Only one child and a brewer survived. They both died because the ceiling knocked into a !!CANDY ORE VEIN!! releaseing !!CLOWNS!! Yeah. MurderedFortresses truely lived up to it's name.

[Iapetus]

My first minor !!Fun!! was back in 40d.

Before I've set up proper underground stockpiles, a horde of rhesus macaques turn up.  I draft my starting seven to fight them off, only for his throat ripped out by a macaque.  (Did dwarves have throats in 40d?  He got killed by a damn monkey at any rate).


My first major !!Fun!! was in a different fortress, also in 40d.  I was trying - I think - to set up a waterfall inside my fortress, but accidently breached the brook that was feeding it.  The fortress started to flood, but it was some time before I noticed, and when I did, I thought it was the waterfall that was causing it.  So I shut off the waterfall, thinking that would be enough.  The fortress continued to flood, but I assumed this was just the last of the water in the waterfall-cistern emptying.  It wasn't until about half the lower levels were submerged that I realised it was the river that was the source, and there was no obvious way to stop it.  (I tried damming the river upstream, which I ''think'' worked, but not before drowning several dwarves in the process).  I think there may have been an aquifer involved as well.

This was also my first introduction to the vagaries of dwarven emotions (Urist McGrieving Mother is upset that her entire familly drowned in the flood, but on the other had, it was a really nice waterfall).

I eventually had to abandon that part of the fortress and start a new that would bypass the flooded levels and then join up with it.  This also resulted in !!Fun!! when the gobbos arrived, and I forgot when I gave the "eveyone inside" order, all the dwarves in the "new" fortress decided to run out side and seek refuge in the "old" fortress.

[SmileyMan]

Once I'd got the hang of food and booze etc. a long time ago (although I still cock it up on occasion) my first fortress to die in a non-mundane way was when a dragon turned up.

Needless to say my leather-clad speardwarves (who had been pretty effective against the small seiges up to then) were hopelessly inadequate.

Surprisingly, the dragon died before the last dwarf after exploding the booze pile while it stood in the middle of it, but there wasn't much hope for the few choking, hungry, thirsty, miserable survivors.

[Hanslanda]

I had two squads of middling dwarves, and got sieged by a single gobbo squad.  Hehe, two to one advantage?  Lets go kick some ass.

They were on cave crocodiles.

[tolkafox]

"Well..I guess I should have expected the mountain to fall after mining out the entire middle."

Fortress death numero uno: miner mines out entire z lvl causing the mountain top to collapse onto the fortress. What the hell was I thinking.

[Mr S]

Compress the SAVES of your fortress, NOT the fortress itself, lol

[Angel Of Death]

"Dum dee du- Holy shit, goblin ambush!"

"Never fear! Workers of the fort, arm yourselves with the finest copper blades!"

"WHY IS THAT FARMER MISSING HIS GUTS AAAAAH"

Your fortress has crumbled into darkness.

[theothersteve7]

My first three forts simply died of starvation, thirst, and thirst respectively.  I like embarking on mountains since it's dorfy, and I didn't know how to deal with a freezing river.  Also I prioritized things like individual bedrooms over a food source.

Once I got that hang of the game, my first massive loss came from when I tried walling in a big area from the outside.  It was next to a mountain, so I had all hands building a ceiling as fast as I could.  The two squads of goblins all had crossbows.  They shot down from above, wiping out about 40 dwarves and almost my entire animal population before I got everyone else inside safely.  The fact that the goblins were standing above the pasture exit when they showed up caused all kinds of pathing joy.

[azrael300]

do this and you will know f###ing the world .... make all your enemys superstrong and super everything else then give them this
[ITEM_AMMO:ITEM_AMMO_BULLET_AZ]
[NAME:bullet:bullet]
[CLASS:BULLET_AZ]
[SIZE:1]
[ATTACK:EDGE:5:5000:pierce:pierces:NO_SUB:7500000]

then this
[ITEM_WEAPON:ITEM_WEAPON_MACHINEGUNAZSANIAN]
[NAME:AzsandianMachineGun:AzsanianMachineGuns]
[SIZE:550]
[SKILL:HAMMER]
[RANGED:BLOWGUN:BULLET_AZ]
[SHOOT_FORCE:9000000000000000000000000000000000000000000]
[SHOOT_MAXVEL:9000000000000000000000000000000000000000000]
[TWO_HANDED:57500]
[MINIMUM_SIZE:52500]
[MATERIAL_SIZE:2]
[ATTACK:BLUNT:10000:4000:club:clubs:stock:12500000000]
[ATTACK:BLUNT:10000:3000:poke:pokes:end:1250000000000]
[ATTACK:BLUNT:10000:5000:bludgeon:bludgeons:stock:13000000000000]
[ATTACK:BLUNT:10000:2000:slap:slaps:shaft:1250000000]
[ATTACK:EDGE:5:2000:run through:runs through:bayonet:11000000000
make them make a path of 7 level lava
and make thembe able to teleport and fly
and flood the surface of the entire world with magma
then make all creatures undead and made of lava and making paths of 7 level lava then
make all of them the size of 1 50th of the moon
and make them ninja like reflexes
and make a civilization of demons
and make it though shall rain lava rain!
and to make it 1000 times worse
make hitler and make all of his atributes and skills and make him immortal and ageless so he doesent look like a old alien from space thats 10000000 years old.
only then will you be able to know the true meaning of "f***ing the world"