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[Wayward Device]

"Thank fuck for that! Rob mate, you are a lifesaver."

John stepped closer to Robere and bummed a smoke, taking in his first drag with obvious pleasure and holding it in his lungs for a good ten seconds. Hearing an engine and the shouts of a grizzled biker apparently offering free ammo, he sheathed his flamburg and waved his worn little SIG Mosquito in the air, calling back

"I'll take some .22 ammo if you got it, and any clips that'll fit this thing! It looks like things around here are about to go all to shit!"

In the distance, the dual wielding maniac was rapidly approaching the Mongol hoard, who seemed to be more than a little agitated at this turn of events. 

[Spinal_Taper]

"..." Peter lifts a boulder with his blessed gravity gun, and launches it through the horde.

[Llamainaspitfire]

Robere climbs to the surface, and then with one hand, points his gun like a badass, And fires at the horde.

[Wayward Device]

Never one to be left behind, John fired off two rounds before cursing himself, holstered his pistol and drawing his two-handed sword for the second time in five minutes. Fucking typical, a horde of gorilla-men were coming to kill him and he was faffing with his equipment. Out of the ruins of a suburban house, just across the street from the entrance to the bunker, came a pair of manapes, clearly outriders or scouts for the horde. Finally seeing the creatures up close for the first time, John noticed that they did not truly resemble any of the Great Apes, but nor did they resemble Men. It was as if some cousin of humanities, perhaps something somewhere between a gorilla and human, had been allowed to evolve unchecked for a few million years in a particularly harsh environment. The creatures were both large, standing slightly under seven feet in height. While their bodies were heavily muscled and their movements quick, they had no grace about them. Their arms were made for the brutal smash, not the quick parry or cunning riposte. One's fur was a deep deep coal black while the others was the brown of fresh dug earth, except where it had been shaved and the exposed skin tattooed with disturbing images. Upon noticing the survivor's presence, Brownfur immediately grabbed an arbalest that was strapped to his back and cocked it with one hand. The damn thing must have had a five-hundred pound draw.   

While Brownfur fooled in a sack tied to the belt at his waist for a bolt, Blackfur ran towards the survivors, a club made of five pieces of rebar welded together in his hand. Before he could reach them, Brownfur had finish loading his crossbow and fired at the group. It missed all present, flew into the ruins of a wall and exploded  into a million shards.What the fuck? Was it a glass bolt? As Brownfur reloaded furiously, Blackfur ended his charge with a flying leap, a terrifying, inhuman cry and a mighty swing of his crude bludgeon. As it turns out, this wasn't the best maneuver in the history of  hand to hand combat, because John proceeded to step neatly to the side, severed the creatures weapon arm with an efficient downward blow and take the things head off with a backhand swing. While all around him John's companions began to join the combat as more manapes came out of the surrounding buildings, he took a moment to muse to himself, quite understandably when you know that he had never before killed a, presumably, sentient creature.

"It's like not using a sword, but with a sword."   

[Devling]

No. No, no no no no.
Nooooooooooooooo.
What the fuck?
This is bullshit.
First I had to hide in ancient 50' bomb shelter, surviving on baked beans. Then, when the geiger meter said it was safe BAM!
Fucking mongol horde.
What? How is that even possible?
After breathing air that went through 5 meters of rust, living on backed beans and spam, and reading Pulp Magazines for entetainment, this is what I find?
And look, a bunch of idiots acting like they aren't suprised to find heavily armed people and A FUCKING MONGOL HORDE ON THIER DOORSTEP.
One might think that upon entering a bombed out wasteland one might have a little bit of emotion besides, "OH yeah look guys lets join together, look guns woo, other guys to shoot, yay!"
THAT IS NOT A HUMAN RESPONSE!
"Fuck it, I'm going back inside."

(basiclly, my charcter's name is David Jones. He managed to find a nearby bomb shelter, a twin to the one the first group was in.
Being a single person, he didn't need as much food to survive so he still has a lot of food left over. Also, he's hiding in his shelter intil he wants to come out. So yeah, consider this my introduction.)

[Spinal_Taper]

"..." Peter points his gravity gun at the ground, air, and launches himself in the air. Gliding towards the horde, he lands in front of Genghis' personal guard. He spins in a circle, the blessed crowbar cleaving in two the mongols around him. Genghis laughs at him, then says "Bwahahahahahaha! I have slain your (insert parental figure), and you still think you can defeat me?! EN GARDE! Genghis whips around in a circle, stunning Peter with his cape and preparing for the fight.

[Doomblade187]

"Well, well, look at what we have here. the New American Mongol Horde. Somehow, I just knew they'd be around here. Jones, start up the tank- they're going to pay for that garden."

(Just so you know, this guy is watching from the side, and is a slightly crazy gardener who lost his garden to the horde. He somehow found a main battle tank along with a time-traveling Navy SEAL while wandering around, killing apes with a garden hoe.)

[Hubris Incalculable]

Gavin stared catatonically at the unfolding events: at Peter, whose weapons turned into a crowbar and a strange gun from praying to someone called Gordon Freeman, at Robere, whose accent seemed so ridiculous as to be faked, at the attacking horde. Finally, something snapped in him.

"Fook! John, you said you wanted to leg i', let's just fookin' leg i'!"

((Jeez, don't go so fast, you'll give me heart attack. or go that fast when i'm awake and slow down when i'm asleep. or something. @Llamainaspitfire: Where did you learn that accent, 'cause it is nothing like a french one.
@Doomblade187:Please find a unique color to use. you can use hex codes instead of names thus (obviously w/o the spaces: [ color=#FF0F80]"You may be right abou' that. An' anyway, that concert in Bromley was def'nitely worse! You remember?"[/ color] (Just note that that's my color, alright?)))

[Donuts]

*A gunshot is heard in the distance, and 2 apemen gets their heads blasted off* *a guy emerges from some ruins* "Wassup people?" He said. "Whats up with these monkeymen? Damn annoying if you ask me!" *He fires another round and hits a mongol in the balls* "357 Magnum, a must have!" *He quickly rushes over to the others* "So, need help?" "The names Jack." *Reloads revolver* "And if you dont mind, i would like to kick some ass"

[Spinal_Taper]

Genghis Kahn and Peter dueled upon Genghis' massive litter (think a bed on wheels), the plush cushions providing little footing for Peter as he ducked a blow from his foes blade. Quickly, he counter struck, only to be blocked. Suddenly Genghis swung not at Peter, but the supports for the sun-blocker. Peter quickly kicked at Genghis, sending him off the vehicle, and onto the ground, where he quickly caught himself. Peter leapt off the litter, and slew the carriers for it with a quick split kick to the head. As he fell, he brought his crowbar into the Mongol leaders chest on the way down, the sound of horrible leader bones shattering bringing a shudder to all those around him. Genghis fell onto the red dirt, and began to chant wildly, blood spurting from his damaged lungs. His eyes rolled back in his head and he began to fly. The flesh flew off his bones, and a azure energy coming from the distance flew into his body. Then, the mongol hordes began to strangle on the air around them. The same azure power came out of their mouths, and into Genghis Kahns skeleton. The eye sockets of his bare skull began to glow, and his mouth poured forth a forsaken light. He points at the bunker and...

(C'mon you guys, what does the undead barbarian do now?)

[Donuts]

"Woah, what the hell is that mongol guy doing???" Jack said. "Thats just creepy"

[Donuts]

Goin' to sleep now. Cya later.

[Doomblade187]

(Sorry about the colors. I was going to use a hex code, but I got lazy, and look what happened.)
"Hey, what's going on over there!? Is Ghengis destroying more gar- no, wait, he's re- LOAD THE CANNON JONES, LOAD THE CANNON!"

A bright azure light fills the sky.

[LordBucket]

LordBucket watches the scene unfolding around him with curious interest.

"John, I get the impression that we're not in any real danger here. Notice they appeared right after the newcomers did, and they don't seem to be attacking anyone who doesn't attack them first? Also...did you notice how Peter was able to transform his rifle into a fully functional gravity gun and now tanks and cannons are materializing on demand? I think we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto."

LordBucket stands calmly and clears his throat before speaking out loud to nobody in particular.

"And then, suddenly two beautiful runway models in bikinis walked in and latched onto LordBucket's arms with a smile."

LordBucket looks around expectantly, but nothing happens.

"Hmm. Maybe that's not how it's done."

((@LordBucket, viz-a-viz names, I've been going by the assumption that Bucket is a nickname we gave you during our mammoth bunker survival and cannibalism bonding session. Especially since this is a very musiciany nickname, as in "Bucket, couldn't carry a tune in a". Although, once again, not to impose anything on your character (you're playing yourself and you could be a RL musician for all I know). Although then my assumed nickname would make even more sense as a piece of inter musician banter. Anyway, just my thoughts on why we've been calling you Bucket.)) 

(No. I just never told you guys my real name. And after civilization collapsed, it's not like given names really matter much anyway.)

[Spinal_Taper]

"..."Peter wittily remarks in response to Bucket's comments, then points up at the new form of Genghis Kahn. He then removes his clothes, then begins to meditate.