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Author Topic: I need help, my dwarves are elf-lovers!  (Read 2882 times)

Corai

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I need help, my dwarves are elf-lovers!
« on: April 11, 2012, 11:19:11 pm »

My fortress has had several artifacts.








The galena hatch is studded with three logs of wood. What do I do! I fear they may over-throw me soon.
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

KodKod

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Re: I need help, my dwarves are elf-lovers!
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2012, 11:21:03 pm »



Fixed that for you.

Now kill them all.
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Corai

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Re: I need help, my dwarves are elf-lovers!
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2012, 11:21:43 pm »



Fixed that for you.

Now kill them all.


No, there too important. I must fix there minds.......
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

wierd

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Re: I need help, my dwarves are elf-lovers!
« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2012, 11:26:59 pm »

Kitten waterfall.

Puppy punting contests.

Trap the elf merchants in the dining hall, then wall them in with fortifications. Allow them to go mad, and die while on full display.

Do these regularly.
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JimDale

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Re: I need help, my dwarves are elf-lovers!
« Reply #4 on: April 11, 2012, 11:27:09 pm »

I'd probably kill everyone if a dorfk made a rough wooden ring as an artifact. What the hell, they're not elves.
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Corai

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Re: I need help, my dwarves are elf-lovers!
« Reply #5 on: April 11, 2012, 11:28:30 pm »

Kitten waterfall.

Puppy punting contests.

Trap the elf merchants in the dining hall, then wall them in with fortifications. Allow them to go mad, and die while on full display.

Do these regularly.

Sadly my goals require elven goods, and lots, so I cant just butcher them, I use Masterwork so they will actually siege.
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

martinuzz

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Re: I need help, my dwarves are elf-lovers!
« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2012, 03:49:30 am »

Even if they siege. You can just sweet-talk the next diplomat to resume trade, right?
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Calech

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Re: I need help, my dwarves are elf-lovers!
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2012, 04:02:52 am »

Consider it this way;

Elves are dedicated to the preservation of nature. Although their goods are mostly wooden, they are constructed only from naturally-fallen wood, as evidenced by their attitude towards tree-felling as practiced by humans, dwarves, etc.

Dwarves are masters of crafting, and will dedicate themselves to the shaping and crafting of high-quality items using intricate toolwork, cutting, carving, etc. They all have a preference for metal, but many can and will turn their attention to other materials.

So it's perfectly normal for dwarves to create some items from wood - indeed some constructions can only be built from roughly-hewn logs (windmills, waterwheels, axles - all staples of good solid Dwarven engineering, but I don't hear anyone calling these elven!)

Personally I prefer to view it as when the elven traders come to my fort, passing the stumps of fallen trees, along the rough log palisade wall around the fortress, past the creaking and groaning windmills and waterwheels straining their axles to power dwarven heavy industry, around the path beside the smoke-belching wood furnaces and sawdust-covered carpentry workshops, finally reaching the masterfully built rough log trade depot to unload their goods - to be greeted by my broker, a Legendary Woodcrafter, who warmly welcomes them to the fort and tells them all about his profession to pass the time whilst my haulers bring crudely cut wooden bins full of xClothesx to the depot for the elves to take with them as a memento of their visit.
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Flying Fortress

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Re: I need help, my dwarves are elf-lovers!
« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2012, 07:18:50 am »

I think the elf virus is spreading.   :o

I made a fort just to attempt to start a war, and once I had all my guys killed by angry town folk (using the just embark tool to build on the town) I went back as an adventurer to see what was going on.  Clothes and items were littered everywhere, and no one was left alive inside the homes.  After reclaiming the fort just to look around further and coming back again as an adventurer I spotted my expedition leader.  I talked to him and he said this.



Being disgusted by what he said I abruptly ended the conversation and ran away from the despicable dwarf.
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Has entire family killed and all friends butchered and raped.
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BastiBasti

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Re: I need help, my dwarves are elf-lovers!
« Reply #9 on: April 12, 2012, 08:12:31 am »



Fixed that for you.

Now kill them all.


No, there too important. I must fix there minds.......

Prehaps you could start by using 'there' and 'their' in their proper contexts, like I just did.
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Garath

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Re: I need help, my dwarves are elf-lovers!
« Reply #10 on: April 12, 2012, 09:48:47 am »

jes, speling gramarand lesoons wil reli hulp

we're not all great at english. I make mistakes often enough and I'm better at english than some born and raised speaking english, unlike me. Pointing out that someone is not perfect in writing english is pointless. I'd like to see how you'd do writing in dutch/german/french.

edit:
by the way, you probably meant perhaps instead of prehaps
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
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And then everyone melted.

Loud Whispers

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Re: I need help, my dwarves are elf-lovers!
« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2012, 10:06:38 am »

I think the elf virus is spreading.   :o

You tell me, I modded Elf blood to transform anything it touched into an Elf. The virus spread, literally.

Garath

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Re: I need help, my dwarves are elf-lovers!
« Reply #12 on: April 12, 2012, 10:10:01 am »

That is horrible, you'd get a situation where people stop killing elves.
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.

Loud Whispers

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Re: I need help, my dwarves are elf-lovers!
« Reply #13 on: April 12, 2012, 10:17:10 am »

That is horrible, you'd get a situation where people stop killing elves.
***More Elves to kill. But it's like fighting the zombie apocalypse. Even better on evil biomes, the syndrome still spreads when they're dead.