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Author Topic: "The goblin is embracing the dwarf"  (Read 7518 times)

RAKninja

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Re: "The goblin is embracing the dwarf"
« Reply #15 on: April 09, 2012, 11:57:44 pm »

lies kodkod.  this is a thing of beauty.  the goblins and dwarves cease their amusing petty bickering to unite against the true threat.  urist and snodub proceed to the serious business of handling "the elf situation" once and for all.

Goblin kidnappers are basically just garbagemen.
freedom fighters.  they liberate the children.
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Goblin Fortress (NOW UPDATED FOR 34.02!
magma on his bed when he is sleeping, works every time

nzybwnb

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Re: "The goblin is embracing the dwarf"
« Reply #16 on: April 10, 2012, 12:55:57 am »



Obviously once this artifact was made, I deleted the save, formatted my hard drive, threw my computer into the washing machine, and then burned down my house.  My cat, iPhone, and I are sitting outside the ashes of 22 Dewberry Street and wondering: have you ever seen goblins and dwarves make peace during worldgen?  And how long does it last?

So The Harvester of Axes showed up after you buried the hatchet?
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: "The goblin is embracing the dwarf"
« Reply #17 on: April 10, 2012, 12:59:26 am »

Peace...? :o

 No peace.  >:(

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Naryar

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Re: "The goblin is embracing the dwarf"
« Reply #18 on: April 10, 2012, 02:19:10 am »

What ? NO ! Where is my sweet, sweet war ? Goblins, and occasionally elves, exist to be slain !

Scruffy

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Re: "The goblin is embracing the dwarf"
« Reply #19 on: April 10, 2012, 02:27:07 am »

Goblin kidnappers are basically just garbagemen.
I don't understand why anyone would want to steal one of those drunken furballs. (Even if the tiny dwarfen meatshield is still in its larval state.)
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The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

Sabreur

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Re: "The goblin is embracing the dwarf"
« Reply #20 on: April 11, 2012, 01:25:44 am »

You know, the description only says what the goblin is doing.  It doesn't say anything about Urist McDiplomat.  I have this mental image of a dwarf just sort of standing there with this "Oh Armok, why is it touching me!?" expression on his face.

MetalHead

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Re: "The goblin is embracing the dwarf"
« Reply #21 on: April 11, 2012, 01:46:07 am »

Why do you let this atrocity continue?!?!?! Make the unworthy spawn BURN!!!!
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miauw62

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Re: "The goblin is embracing the dwarf"
« Reply #22 on: April 11, 2012, 04:06:09 am »

lies kodkod.  this is a thing of beauty.  the goblins and dwarves cease their amusing petty bickering to unite against the true threat.  urist and snodub proceed to the serious business of handling "the elf situation" once and for all.

True.
Goblins i have the most sympathy with.
Elves are horrible, no need to say that, humans are arrogant, kobolds are meh. goblins are pretty neat tough.
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Sus

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Re: "The goblin is embracing the dwarf"
« Reply #23 on: April 11, 2012, 06:26:53 am »

Goblin kidnappers are basically just garbagemen.
I don't understand why anyone would want to steal one of those drunken furballs. (Even if the tiny dwarfen meatshield is still in its larval state.)
They assume dwarven babies to know the secret of unraveling Dwarven Stasis Fields, a.k.a. Remove Construction.
I mean, imagine them watch a dwarf child effortlessly deconstruct the very same impenetrable barrier of ice and soap they've been staring hopelessly at for all those months.

But back to the OP...
YEEECCCCHHHH!
I hereby mandate 30 stacks of ☼Brain Bleach☼! Curse you Dish It Out! for bringing before the eyes of this forum such an unspeakable blasphemy of all that is holy and Dwarven!
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Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

oidip

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Re: "The goblin is embracing the dwarf"
« Reply #24 on: April 11, 2012, 08:03:26 am »

I'm not seeing the issue here.
Everybody knows goblins and dwarfs are only enemies because they are too similar.
Name one goblin philosophy that you disagree with?

They hate children: So do dwarves
They build ridiculous above ground structures: Dwarves go for underground
They murder things: Dwarves murder everything!
They use goblinite:Dwarves use candy

The sooner we get over the pet hate the sooner we can start a 1000 year empire and kill of the inferior races like the elves, humans, kobolds, antmen and anything else that looks at our beards funny!
« Last Edit: April 11, 2012, 08:09:20 am by oidip »
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Sus

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Re: "The goblin is embracing the dwarf"
« Reply #25 on: April 11, 2012, 08:24:33 am »

Name one goblin philosophy that you disagree with?
All of them?
Quote
They hate children: So do dwarves
Goblins don't hate children. They love children so much that they even want to snatch the children of others for themselves. (I, for one, would welcome this, if it didn't help the goblins Dwarf up in the process. Imagine if they learned to dig!) It's disgusting!
Quote
They build ridiculous above ground structures: Dwarves go for underground
They build ridiculous above ground structures
above ground
I think that illustrates the point here. Above ground buildings are a horrible perversion of every sacred principle of engineering!
Quote
They murder things: Dwarves murder everything!
Goblins don't murder dwarves. They annoy dwarves, and get paid in glorious
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Quote
They use steel:Dwarves BLEED STEEL
No they do not, and no we do not. Goblins use puny copper and flimsy iron. Dwarves wear and wield shiny steel and Sweet Candy, and we bleed Glory!
Quote
The sooner we get over the pet hate the sooner we can start a 1000 year empire and kill of the inferior races like the elves, humans, kobolds, antmen and anything else that looks at our beards funny!
Allow me to present a differing opinion:
The Foreman hacks the Goblin Messenger in the lower body with his *steel battle axe*, tearing apart the muscle and spilling her stinking guts!
The Foreman hacks the Goblin Messenger in the head with his *steel battle axe*, and the severed head sails off in an arc!
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Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

Loud Whispers

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Re: "The goblin is embracing the dwarf"
« Reply #26 on: April 11, 2012, 09:18:42 am »

1. Above ground structures are the most ostentatious forms of structures :(
2. Goblins don't murder anyone. Everyone is an enemy of the goblins, thus it is simply killing.

Say what you will about the green ones, but it takes guts to declare war on the entire world.

Girlinhat

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Re: "The goblin is embracing the dwarf"
« Reply #27 on: April 11, 2012, 09:24:06 am »

I always (and I do mean always) imagined dwarves and goblins getting along like English lords of the middle ages.  Namely, that it wasn't unknown for one lord to give a loan to another that he was currently at war with.  War moved to the point of sport, with both sides seeking the other dead while remaining a level of respect for their opponent and even a bit of lenience.

I can imagine a dwarf and a goblin sitting about a low-set marble table, drinking from bone china, "Roight then, shall we war?"

Archereon

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Re: "The goblin is embracing the dwarf"
« Reply #28 on: April 11, 2012, 01:49:55 pm »

Guys, don't hate on goblins. They're one of the only races besides dwarves who have !!FUN on a regular basis. I remember a while back there was a thread where one guy told about how his 2nd year fort got swarmed by a goblin siege, only for the entire siege to get killed when a building destroyer breached his magma cistern with the entire army at his back.

Of course, then the magma leaked down into his base and killed everyone, so the dwarves had !!FUN to.

Basically, my theory is that dorfs and gobbos have a symbiotic relationship: Each one takes turns giving the other !!FUN (usually depending on how well developed a fort is)
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Loud Whispers

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Re: "The goblin is embracing the dwarf"
« Reply #29 on: April 11, 2012, 01:51:36 pm »

No one here's hating on goblins.

You know what?

I'm going to hate goblins now.

Because you said no.
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