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Author Topic: So...many...children!  (Read 3543 times)

oidip

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So...many...children!
« on: April 09, 2012, 06:40:54 am »



The fort started in 75.
Its is now early spring 76.
Whats with all the children....

More specifically.

What should I do with all the chlidren?
I don't really have a metal industry yet because this was just a rural fort with a lot of farm for its size.
But my population has exploded recently without me noticing...
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Lielac

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Re: So...many...children!
« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2012, 06:45:00 am »

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Lielac likes adamantine, magnetite, marble, the color olive green, battle axes, cats for their aloofness, dragons for their terrible majesty, women for their beauty, and the Oxford comma for its disambiguating properties. When possible, she prefers to consume pear cider and nectarines. She absolutely detests kobolds.

Argonnek

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Re: So...many...children!
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2012, 06:50:14 am »

Magma?
...
Seriously though, with the right planning, it is possible to relegate them to an enclosed area where they will not tax the pathing logic too much. Then you can release the dogs...

KodKod

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Re: So...many...children!
« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2012, 07:50:47 am »

Break their legs for medical experiments.
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Muffindog

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Re: So...many...children!
« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2012, 08:01:03 am »

This.
No unhappy friends, no mourning parents, no tantrums. Like they never existed in the first place...
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Talvieno

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Re: So...many...children!
« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2012, 10:26:17 am »

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Loud Whispers

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Re: So...many...children!
« Reply #6 on: April 09, 2012, 10:35:56 am »

Gladiatorial fights against adult goblins.

Psieye

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Re: So...many...children!
« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2012, 10:40:04 am »

As for why you have that abundance: historical migrants. They bring their family with them when they migrate from out of history.
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Congrats, Psieye. This is the first time I've seen a derailed thread get put back on the rails.

FalseDead

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Re: So...many...children!
« Reply #8 on: April 09, 2012, 10:45:46 pm »

What should I do with all the chlidren?

Dwarven Child Care. :D
I'm going to second this...

I'm gonna third it. if it works yay!
If it doesn't you don't have to deal with the children anymore
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simonthedwarf

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Re: So...many...children!
« Reply #9 on: April 10, 2012, 02:42:37 am »

Is there a way to mod so that children can join military squads?

- Dont ask what Urist can do for you, ask what you can do for urist.
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Psieye

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Re: So...many...children!
« Reply #10 on: April 10, 2012, 06:18:49 am »

Is there a way to mod so that children can join military squads?

- Dont ask what Urist can do for you, ask what you can do for urist.
You can mod children to grow up to adult status much earlier. In my forts, the age of adulthood is 3. Mind, this does mean there will be even more marriages.
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Congrats, Psieye. This is the first time I've seen a derailed thread get put back on the rails.

oidip

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Re: So...many...children!
« Reply #11 on: April 11, 2012, 06:21:44 am »

Well the day care worked...
And it didn't...

Luckily I had hundreds of turkeys to spare so i could train the children quite effectively.
However most of them resorted to become talented biters which was kind of odd.
So i dropped wooden swords down into their holes to see if they would use them.
They didn't really.

That was going fine until some possessed guy went berserk. And broke the door to Urist McBiteChild #3.
He started beating on the kid, or at least tried too.
The child bite his arms off.
The beserk guy was the mayor...
Suddenly everyone is sad.
The mayor was also the boys dad.
The boy goes mental.
Smashes door other childrens doors.
8 of the children was children of the mayor.
All the children go mental.
Everybody attacks each other.
Severed limbs everywhere.
Expert dodging children.
Elves turn up.
Are murdered.
Kobold theif turns up.
Poor little guy.
Cave in somewhere below from an unaffected burrow.
Kills a bunch of people down there.
Creates waterfall uptop.
Suddenly everybody calms down a bit.
Military kill children.
The rest of the mayors family must be killed.
Every thing goes back to normal.
No mason.
30 ghosts.
Military goes mad.
Gameoverbro.
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Sus

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Re: So...many...children!
« Reply #12 on: April 11, 2012, 07:12:23 am »

This.
No unhappy friends, no mourning parents, no tantrums. Like they never existed in the first place...
Sweet Armok, the greatest thread ever!  :o
> "A Modest Proposal": This is a Bay 12 Games Forum discussion thread. All schemedwarfship is of the most insidious quality. It is menacing with spikes of Awesome and decorated with hanging rings of Win. On this item is an image of Urist Lolocatten the dwarf and Sigun Lolocatten the Dwarf. Urist Lolocatten is melting. Sigun Lolocatten is wondering if her lost son Urist will ever return.
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Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

FalseDead

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Re: So...many...children!
« Reply #13 on: April 13, 2012, 12:16:40 am »

Well the day care worked...
And it didn't...

Luckily I had hundreds of turkeys to spare so i could train the children quite effectively.
However most of them resorted to become talented biters which was kind of odd.
So i dropped wooden swords down into their holes to see if they would use them.
They didn't really.

That was going fine until some possessed guy went berserk. And broke the door to Urist McBiteChild #3.
He started beating on the kid, or at least tried too.
The child bite his arms off.
The beserk guy was the mayor...
Suddenly everyone is sad.
The mayor was also the boys dad.
The boy goes mental.
Smashes door other childrens doors.
8 of the children was children of the mayor.
All the children go mental.
Everybody attacks each other.
Severed limbs everywhere.
Expert dodging children.
Elves turn up.
Are murdered.
Kobold theif turns up.
Poor little guy.
Cave in somewhere below from an unaffected burrow.
Kills a bunch of people down there.
Creates waterfall uptop.
Suddenly everybody calms down a bit.
Military kill children.
The rest of the mayors family must be killed.
Every thing goes back to normal.
No mason.
30 ghosts.
Military goes mad.
Gameoverbro.


So You had lots of Fun

Also use Bridges instead of doors for your little psycho army, that way not only can no one break in but no one can break out either.
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rridgway

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Re: So...many...children!
« Reply #14 on: April 13, 2012, 12:45:43 am »

Hey, how would one add in the ability for children to do extra labours? With the new release coming up, greasemonkeys might be nice, dedicated children haulers.
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