New Guy, we gotta talk.
Is it about our relationship?
Wait, what? I don't know where you get this idea. It's about your squishiness.
You die far too quickly.
Aw, but I can't help it. I can't stay pretty if I get roughed up.
Well that's the point. I'll have to replace you as my lieutenant?
Awwww. But why?
Because I need somebody who can actually survive out there to give cou guys commands when I'm not around.
So you're not going to fight?
Not for the next battle, no. You guys need tehe Exp and I'd only hog it all.
So who will take my place them?
Good question. You and Zomph are soft 'n crunchy. Simmura, Gandor and Bob aren't fighters. Hammer and Nevyn... no. As for Happerry, she's still new.
Who?
She's our newest recruit.
...
She doesn't talk much.
Now I get it! You're dumping me for another girl! Whaaahh!
The heck?
...
I don't know if I should be glad or disappointed that I'm the most sane person around...
Okay Hex, what's the situation out there?
Well there's a bunch of boxes... but nothing else so far.
Are there snakes inside?
What?
To be fair, he never specified what kind of boxes they were. Nothing. Listen, I'll stop talking now, or else people reading this will only get confused.
What do you mean confused? There's only the two of us.
As usual, the fight starts with a grand scale literary orbital bombardment, which is really just a fancy way of saying "dropped a libryry on them".
Happerry makes herself instantly useful by rendering a box unconscious. No idea how that physiologically works.
Wow, how did you do that?
Are you a Klingon or something?...a secret.
New Guy feels like (s)he somehow has to impress them, so (s)he starts floating in midair like it's nothing. Get down there!
But it's sooo coool up here~
Duh, you're an ice witch. Stop taunting gravity before you get hurt.
Hex' report is interrupted an extension later.
According to the others they released a sleep spell that euthanised everything on the field.
Anaesthecised actually. Euthanasia is killing people.
Whatever. It picks up at a later point when, in his words, suddenly, vegetables.
Artist's rendition of what happened. Nevyn deals with the situation in his own way.
In the end there's only a pumpkinman armed with some corn left. Bob steals it from him just for kicks.
EEEEEEE YOU NO TAKE CARROT
Are vegetables really that good an option for weapons? Because picking up an enraged carrot doesn't strike as all that smart for me.
But then again, pumpkins have no brains...
...
What happened after Happerry stunned the thing has been explained to me as being a "Super Salad Soup Suplex" on Hammer's part, killing the pumpkin instantly. I don't know if they're pulling my leg or not.
Plan "Don't hog everybody's exp" was a huge success, so I join the next battle.
Oh look. Green mages. Chromaticists. I let NG and Zomph take out their counterparts and deal with the other two.
The next part of the map rocks. And yes, that's a witch with an axe. Scary. Killing the magician reveals a glacier with a couple wood golems on it. Neat, but I have spotted a hidden area in the opposite direction. One OB rock later there's a huge disappointment.
More than ten units and only 56 points? Barely worth it. Of course easy exp is always good so meh. Not much to say there really. A turn later a hut appears in the middle of the trailing group and the fighter residing within is quickly killed. One of the other enemies is a healer and the soldiers are incapable of harming my fighters. Heads, meet curb.
New class unlocked:
HP: 12
SP: 18
Atk: 17
Def: 32
Int: 11
Res:33
Tec: 16
Skills:
-Morningstar
-Hammer
-Shovel
-Box
-Def+1
-Res+1
-Money+10%
Classes upgraded:
-F. Fighter
-Pickpocket