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[slink]

I'd run around naked without tantruming, which would cause everyone else to go berserk.   

[omg_scout]

i would perform a combat demonstration which would actually be useful.

Then I could go fishing turtles for the rest of my life.

[Muffindog]

My fort is in a surprisingly good condition at the moment, so I guess I'd find my way around. Every citizen has a nice bedroom. Must... engrave... pictures of cheese... in everyone's bedroom...

Muffindog withdraws from society...

[Loud Whispers]

Become the CMD, get loads of benefits and pretend I'm actually being useful, all the while digging an escape tunnel for that eventual *ohgodIdon'tremembermakingthatlever* moment.

Edit.

Usurp the monarchy, train an army, become the new mountain home leader!

[baby steps make for a bronze colossus]

[mnjiman]

Live pretty nicely. My fortress is self sustaining with a strong military. The only thing I would be afraid of is if and what armok decides to kill off the world in ten years time.

[Kestrel]

I'd enroll in the most protected industry - metalworking.  Those guys seem to have a pretty plush lifestyle, and are well insulated deep within the fort.  The hours are shit and the pay isn't much, but I get to stare at my own pretty statues all day.  Plus, chicks dig dwarfs that work with magma.

[Corai]

I'd enroll in the most protected industry - metalworking.  Those guys seem to have a pretty plush lifestyle, and are well insulated deep within the fort.  The hours are shit and the pay isn't much, but I get to stare at my own pretty statues all day.  Plus, chicks dig dwarfs that work with magma.

Then the overseer sees a "Dabbling sword user" and your drafted into a anti-forgotten beast response force.

[tahujdt]

I'd promote myself to ultraviolet rank, and reprogram Friend Computer to serve my every need.

[Kestrel]

I'd enroll in the most protected industry - metalworking.  Those guys seem to have a pretty plush lifestyle, and are well insulated deep within the fort.  The hours are shit and the pay isn't much, but I get to stare at my own pretty statues all day.  Plus, chicks dig dwarfs that work with magma.

Then the overseer sees a "dabbling sword user" and you're drafted into an anti-forgotten beast response force.

Unless he sees "proficient editor" and enrolls me into writing Dwarven press releases.


Urist McMayor Signs Landmark Mandate Reform Act

Kingmines...  A crowd of 120 gathered as Mayor Urist McMayor enacted a plan minimizing the heavy footprint of government by streamlining the mandates process.

"Now, instead of waiting for my orders to be disobeyed, legendary metalsmiths will be summarily executed before a mandate is issued," McMayor said.  "The plan will save time, food, and bedspace."

The signing was met with praise from members of the Fraternal Order of Police and the Dwarven Sheriffs Association.  "This plan will reduce crime by safely removing potential criminals from the population," Kingmines' Sheriff Domas Engigathel said.

And so on.

[GhostDwemer]

I would tell everyone all about the dozens of forts I have been in before this one, to set them all at ease and let them know I can be a valuable member of the dwarven community.

[KodKod]

Lead Warhammer!

MINE.

[Corai]

I would tell everyone all about the dozens of forts I have been in before this one, to set them all at ease and let them know I can be a valuable member of the dwarven community.

Then the overseer stuffs you in a glass port-a-potty, thinking your a vampire.

Lead Warhammer!

MINE.

Have a slade war-hammer.

[Nil Eyeglazed]

"Hey, did you guys even look at your stoop?  It's like sock heaven.  Sock Heav--" arrow

[tahujdt]

Get a penthouse on my 100 z level tower. Become the mayor. Drop diplomats off tower. (I actually have a machine to do this.) Gather diplomat parts (using spatula). Place in display case in my penthouse. Tantrum from miasma. Pull the lever. "Wrong Leverrrrrrrrr..., *splash". +1 Sock to whoever names that movie quote.

[SharkForce]

Get a penthouse on my 100 z level tower. Become the mayor. Drop diplomats off tower. (I actually have a machine to do this.) Gather diplomat parts (using spatula). Place in display case in my penthouse. Tantrum from miasma. Pull the lever. "Wrong Leverrrrrrrrr..., *splash". +1 Sock to whoever names that movie quote.

emperor's new groove.

i mean, uhhhh... "Why do we even have that lever?"

(don't forget to put the cave crocodile(s) at the bottom).

personally? emigrate. ideally to someplace with no civilisations at all. the only thing more scary than a fortress being run by a DF player is a fortress being run by the dorfs themselves.