Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Author's note:

Avoid creating "sue".

All characters should be plausible, and not complete fiction. Ceramic and glass are strong materials in some aspects, but highly fragile in others, for example.

"Super unobtanium mark 9000 super divine combat armor that can survive a black hole" is not.

"Sue" is no fun to play with, and is a total killjoy. That's why nobody likes her. (even though everybody wants to fuck her silly)

And we now return to our feature in progress.

This. Exactly this. I have it in the right mind to drop an entire z-level of natural stone on those bloody dragons' childish little heads, citing the fact that a large-scale cave-in solves even those problems that magma cannot. There's a reason I design fortresses with several stories ceiling space between functional sections of fortress nowadays. Never know what you'll want to stuff in between on short notice. It also prevents one cave-in on a given level from taking half the fortress with it...

My current 34.07 fortress on the other hand has a 3-story tall main hallway with an aquifer directly overhead. Kinda the same function, if less effective.

Don't worry, the master of fire won't listen to me like the others, so I won't be sending the dragons anymore, unless it is in trade caravans.

(their strength is due to an obsession with the epic-ness of dragons that I have, I apologize.)

[wierd]

Mythical dragons are not invincible, all knowing, or all powerful.  While considerably stronger than humans to the point where a dragon is to human, as human is to ant, a colony of ants can easily kill a human en-mass.

Mythology in europe is replete with the theme of the brave knights slaying the killer dragon.

For instance, your typical dragon is the size of a dinosaur, more or less.  This means thick, heavy bones, large, slow-twitch muscles, and a very massive energy intake requirment.

Add to that the synthesis of reactive exhalation compounds, and mythically "melts gold hot" body temperatures, and you have a creature who's metabolism is running rampant, and is literally on the edge of spontaneous combustion.

(I forget where I read it, but dragons supposedly hoarde gold because it melts when they sleep on it, and gets slushy, making it super soft and comfy. Its rarity amd materialistic value are unimportant to the dragon.)

A dragon, therefore, would spend most of its time eating, and replenishing water that it exhales to stabilize body temperatures.  Wings most likely serve more as a wide surface area to expell waste hat than for actual flight. (To fly, the dragon's wings would have to be hundreds of feet across, and the bones in them would have to be stronger than our best titanium steels. Remember, these wings flap. That means flexing stresses, momentary stress yeilds, and tortional stresses not found on fixed wing flying objects, like aircraft. I work in avionics. A dragon couldn't fly, even if their entire skeleton was made of pure titanium and carbon nanowire.)

You can clearly see where I am going with this.  Dragons are bad asses, but their very strengths introduce weaknesses.  Getting a dragon to ingest high temperature cataysts would result in them exploding spectacularaly, for instance.  Metallic sodium suspended in mineral oil would work nicely in this regard.

Also, subjecting them to sustained high temperatures, like a magmaflow, would saturate their tissues in heat, resulting in very rapid onset heat prostration, and death.

Dragons are therefor, not "sue" when thought about logically.  They only become sue when "because magic!" Gets thrown in.  because "because magic!" Does this for just about anything where magic is not sufficiently limited, "magic" becomes an aspect of world ending proportion very quickly, and is highly discouraged.  If magic exists, then it has to exist in a fashion compatible with obervable reality, which means fundemental limitations. (Otherwise your magical armor that can withistand all impacts by using the energy used to break it to reinforce the armor can faceplant into the schwatrzchild limit, and becomes a black hole once you push enough energy on it. This is due to the infamous e=mc^2 of relativity. The energy your armor absorbed is equivilent to mass, and after a certain density threshold, breaches the shwartzchild radius, and the armor implodes. Its worse than that though, because to hold back its own implosion, it draws more magic to keep it at bay, so it ends up not just being a black hole, but one that destroys all of the reality it inhabits as an infinite flow of energy is exerted, and adds to the hole's mass potential. Basically, indestructale magic armor is a timebomb, of world ending proportions, if you make magic limitless.)


Basically, what I am getting at is that invincible "anythings" are fundementally incompatible with observed reality, even in the broken over-unity, second-law-less physics of the DF universe.

The absurd materials already present in the DF universe are already close to world ending as-is. Slade is particularly diabolical in that respect.

When it comes to writing fiction, you have to create a very delicate balance between "sufficiently larger than life as to be interesting to the reader", and "so blatantly over the top that disbelief cannot be suspended."

This is especially hard with an audience like the people on this forum, some of whom probably know what a "schwartzchild radius" already is without using wikipedia, and as such are much harder to get to believe in your fantasy sufficiently to find enjoyment. 

Basically, sticking with real materials and just being clever is safer than inventing unobtanium and making it work.  Magic has to be limited, or else the logical consequences are a universe that in no way resembles the one the reader is from, making it too alien to believe. 

I am gonna get off the soapbox and end the meta-commentary now, but I don't have a problem with intelligent dragons that can squash people like bugs. What I have a problem with is inventing new impossible materials as a deus ex machina, and creating dragons that don't have weaknesses of any kind.

Those are unforgivable sins, which make the roleplay game not fun to play anymore.

[Loud Whispers]

spectacularaly

This word, it is glorious.

[wierd]

You try writing a 10,000 word post from a smartphone without a typo or two, mr whispers.

I realize that the grammar nazi creed requires you to point it out, and I can understand that, but let's just move on with our lives now, ok?

(Besides, you missed "withistand", which is much more hysterical.)

[Loud Whispers]

I wasn't joking either.

It is... Spectacularaly beautiful.

My Grandchildren shall know of this word, AND IT WILL BE SPECTACULARIOUS

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Mythical dragons are not invincible, all knowing, or all powerful.  While considerably stronger than humans to the point where a dragon is to human, as human is to ant, a colony of ants can easily kill a human en-mass.

Mythology in europe is replete with the theme of the brave knights slaying the killer dragon.

For instance, your typical dragon is the size of a dinosaur, more or less.  This means thick, heavy bones, large, slow-twitch muscles, and a very massive energy intake requirment.

Add to that the synthesis of reactive exhalation compounds, and mythically "melts gold hot" body temperatures, and you have a creature who's metabolism is running rampant, and is literally on the edge of spontaneous combustion.

(I forget where I read it, but dragons supposedly hoarde gold because it melts when they sleep on it, and gets slushy, making it super soft and comfy. Its rarity amd materialistic value are unimportant to the dragon.)

A dragon, therefore, would spend most of its time eating, and replenishing water that it exhales to stabilize body temperatures.  Wings most likely serve more as a wide surface area to expell waste hat than for actual flight. (To fly, the dragon's wings would have to be hundreds of feet across, and the bones in them would have to be stronger than our best titanium steels. Remember, these wings flap. That means flexing stresses, momentary stress yeilds, and tortional stresses not found on fixed wing flying objects, like aircraft. I work in avionics. A dragon couldn't fly, even if their entire skeleton was made of pure titanium and carbon nanowire.)

You can clearly see where I am going with this.  Dragons are bad asses, but their very strengths introduce weaknesses.  Getting a dragon to ingest high temperature cataysts would result in them exploding spectacularaly, for instance.  Metallic sodium suspended in mineral oil would work nicely in this regard.

Also, subjecting them to sustained high temperatures, like a magmaflow, would saturate their tissues in heat, resulting in very rapid onset heat prostration, and death.

Dragons are therefor, not "sue" when thought about logically.  They only become sue when "because magic!" Gets thrown in.  because "because magic!" Does this for just about anything where magic is not sufficiently limited, "magic" becomes an aspect of world ending proportion very quickly, and is highly discouraged.  If magic exists, then it has to exist in a fashion compatible with obervable reality, which means fundemental limitations. (Otherwise your magical armor that can withistand all impacts by using the energy used to break it to reinforce the armor can faceplant into the schwatrzchild limit, and becomes a black hole once you push enough energy on it. This is due to the infamous e=mc^2 of relativity. The energy your armor absorbed is equivilent to mass, and after a certain density threshold, breaches the shwartzchild radius, and the armor implodes. Its worse than that though, because to hold back its own implosion, it draws more magic to keep it at bay, so it ends up not just being a black hole, but one that destroys all of the reality it inhabits as an infinite flow of energy is exerted, and adds to the hole's mass potential. Basically, indestructale magic armor is a timebomb, of world ending proportions, if you make magic limitless.)


Basically, what I am getting at is that invincible "anythings" are fundementally incompatible with observed reality, even in the broken over-unity, second-law-less physics of the DF universe.

The absurd materials already present in the DF universe are already close to world ending as-is. Slade is particularly diabolical in that respect.

When it comes to writing fiction, you have to create a very delicate balance between "sufficiently larger than life as to be interesting to the reader", and "so blatantly over the top that disbelief cannot be suspended."

This is especially hard with an audience like the people on this forum, some of whom probably know what a "schwartzchild radius" already is without using wikipedia, and as such are much harder to get to believe in your fantasy sufficiently to find enjoyment. 

Basically, sticking with real materials and just being clever is safer than inventing unobtanium and making it work.  Magic has to be limited, or else the logical consequences are a universe that in no way resembles the one the reader is from, making it too alien to believe. 

I am gonna get off the soapbox and end the meta-commentary now, but I don't have a problem with intelligent dragons that can squash people like bugs. What I have a problem with is inventing new impossible materials as a deus ex machina, and creating dragons that don't have weaknesses of any kind.

Those are unforgivable sins, which make the roleplay game not fun to play anymore.

Why do you think the Master of Fire will not send out any armies?  That is his line of thinking, so thanks for the insight.

Edit: I prefer to think of dragons as the east does, not how the west does.

[WillowLuman]

HugoLuman's other personality seized a clockwork body!

"I'LL BRING THIS WORLD CRASHING DOWN ON THEIR EARS!" It screamed, pulling levers maniacally with a laughter fell and terrible. The floating sphere in Weird's lab, which he had failed to notice in his intense focus with working on a battle-suit, began to open. Out of it levitated four creatures, looking vaguely like salt shakers with bumps. "BEGIN GENETIC RECALIBRATION!!!" Screamed the clockwork fiend.

The metallic salt-shaker creatures began hastily mixing solutions and filling glass tanks in the lab with them. Sealing the blast door, they had commandeered the lab now and began to dip kittens in the glass tanks. The kittens began to mutate, turning into unsightly and unspeakably grotesque tentacled creatures. With a loud bang a cage trap appeared in the lab, and more six-foot salt-shaker like shells began pouring from the small space. The creatures began placing the mutating kittens inside the shells, activating them and barking orders in harsh mechanical voices.

The clockwork HugoLuman pulled another lever. Miles away, a dark chariot materialized in front of the Spawn of Gbaneg, and a beacon appeared in the sky to guide their way to the Twelfth Bay.

"NOW TO KILL MY OTHER SELF!" It shut off the rotor, causing the arcing electricity to stop in the magma pillars around the chamber, and with the dimensional position stabilized it began planning for the immediate chaos. "THUS SHALL THE ARMIES OF GREED AND INDUSTRY MEET THE ARMIES OF DEATH AND CHAOS!" It reached over and began stroking the translucent cat.

Oliolli was concerned, his instruments detecting a temporal tendril extending towards his location, but then determined that the fields produced by his experiments would stop anything from directly materializing near the building. He could not be interrupted. Soon everything would happen.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Humming-dragons, seeing the chaos, report the recent turn of events to the master of fire.  He regards the events as little threat to the dragon kingdom, but ZTG is a little concerned.  Using a space-time teleporter, made from knowledge gained by Humming-dragons from Oliolli's experiments, he sends over a iron-clad dwarf with a iron short sword and iron shield in front of the clockwork.  When the concern does not ease, he sends another.  Then the concern vanishes and he begins design on a minecart cannon.

Note: There are some dwarves living in the citadel.  Not many, but there are some.

Note2:  The humming dragons are the size of butterflies at their (the dragon's) maximum size.

[WillowLuman]

The clockwork HugoLuman loosed a laugh, fell and terrible. The first interdimensional dwarven shock trooper was atomized by temporal shielding, and the other lay at the clockwork feet with his eye sockets melted. The image of a manamaid faded from the console screen. "So, they want to interfere with the GLORIOUS CHAOS! Well, SO BE IT!" It pulled a lever.

At the pan-dimensional dragon citadel, numerous huge entities appeared. Huge, oil-slick like masses of dark corrosive substance, with ameboeic eyes and mouthparts floating to the surface occasionally. A portal appeared and a large platoon of the creatures from Weird's stolen lab went through to join the Shoggoths. "ENJOY!" It pulled more levers. This dimension was now cut off from further outside intervention, though maintaining the bubble would require 100% of the Temporal Engine's runtime. Oh well. No more reinforcements from the void would be required. Already many useful abominations were on this plane.

Weird came around the hallway corner and stopped. He saw what looked like slayers fighting something, but he couldn't see it quite clearly. Then there was a loud bang, and through the gap in the slayer's ranks he saw a handful of blocky, green, mottled creatures with empty, sagging faces and four stubby legs. "What."

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

The clockwork HugoLuman loosed a laugh, fell and terrible. The first interdimensional dwarven shock trooper was atomized by temporal shielding, and the other lay at the clockwork feet with his eye sockets melted. The image of a manamaid faded from the console screen. "So, they want to interfere with the GLORIOUS CHAOS! Well, SO BE IT!" It pulled a lever.

At the pan-dimensional dragon citadel, numerous huge entities appeared. Huge, oil-slick like masses of dark corrosive substance, with ameboeic eyes and mouthparts floating to the surface occasionally. A portal appeared and a large platoon of the creatures from Weird's stolen lab went through to join the Shoggoths. "ENJOY!" It pulled more levers. This dimension was now cut off from further outside intervention, though maintaining the bubble would require 100% of the Temporal Engine's runtime. Oh well. No no reinforcements from the void would be required. Already many usefull abominations were on this plane.

Weird came around the hallway corner and stopped. He saw what looked like slayers fighting something, but he couldn't see it quite clearly. Then there was a loud bang, and through the gap in the slayer's ranks he saw a handful of blocky, green, mottled creatures with empty, sagging faces and four stubby legs. "What."

Oh really!
The dragons rallied into two groups, one around ZTG and one around the master of fire.  The dragons under the master of fire launched a barrage of fire at the oncoming assault.  ZTG instead ordered his dragons to bring the clay up.  Using the prototype minecart launcher, he ordered the dragons to load up the clay.  One shove was all that was needed to launch the minecart and cover the nearest huge entity, then he ordered his dragons to launch fire, solidifying the clay around the mass.
Huge entity has been struck down!
ZTG knew the same trick would not work twice, so he ordered the magma cannon  to be fired offwith the water cannon following, killing all of the lesser with obsidian.
Lesser entity has been struck down! x537
The battle was just beginning, however for 363 lesser entities, and 99 of the huge entities still remained, and they would not fall for the same attacks twice...

[Eric Blank]

Creepers? We must tame them and use them in mining excercises, specifically to drop roofs on creatures heads on short notice, where a creeper is given directions to go to a section of rock supported by a pillar and blow that pilalr off. Faster than linking a support to a lever and somewhat dwarfier in that training creepers to follow complex directions would be extremely dangerous for the animal trainers and demand a way to train them without them actuall performing the action in question.

[WillowLuman]

Basically, the Dragon citadel is full of Shoggoths and Daleks. That will probably keep them busy for a while. Here, we got creepers, Daleks, and possibly a single Shoggoth (or other things) waiting in the caverns. Although, if I remember correctly, a certain necromantic someone set up sleeper agents in the caverns a while ago in an elaborate anti-Corai defense. Time to call on them now, maybe?

HugoLuman sat straight up in the hospital bed, and rasped "Oliolli... I don't have much time... gneiss amulet on my neck... contains a pure sample of stable Forumitium... smash it." With that said HugoLuman fell unconscious again.

Suddenly, Corai saw a figure appear next to him in a white flash. It was a kobold, covered in crude bone armor and wearing a huge cape. In one hand he held a burning spear and in the other an iron shield. "What are your orders for the kobolds, general?" He asked Corai.

With a white flash, a group of figures appeared among the Bay 12'ers. One of them was a tall elf, with a flowing beard, horned helmet-crown, and a large hammer. Another was an utterly filthy and grizzled dwarf with a huge axe in each hand, and a peculiar mark on his skin; on his armor was a barely recognizable insignia reading "Captain Ironblood." The third was a naked barbarian human with long blond hair and a copper spear. The fourth, with a countenance giving the impression of mastery of all skills, merely said "Name's Morul. Who's wanting tah take pleasurrre in slaughter today, laddies?"

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

The abominations had almost reached the citadel, when ZTG spotted in the distance, the armies of the human civilizations, coming due to the treaty.  Along side them came the elves and the dwarves.  He looked another direction and spotted the goblins, coming to assist as well.  In another direction were the exiled, engaging the abominations.  Near them was the strangest thing of all, the slayer were working to fight the abominations as well.  ZTG knew what this meant, that despite former barriers, the beings of the world came to fight what could destroy them all.  He braced himself for the battle that was to come, knowing that it would decide the fate of this world...

So, we have a battle for two worlds going on.  This is going to be EPIC!!!  Hey, when did you spawn Shoggoths and Daleks inside the citadel?  I didn't see you mention that anywhere before.

[Corai]

Meanwhile, Weird Joykill and Corai were killing cats, Corai was being hounded by seventeen at once while Joykill had killed several dozens.



"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON ANYMORE?!?!?!?!?" it screamed, nigh' everything stopped, turned, and went back to fighting about a half-hour of staring later.

[WillowLuman]

Weird understood everything now. The constant invasions, parts of this plot. The force field stopping them from leaving this region tile; stopping them from escaping. But there was one thing he didn't understand: why?

The Vile force of Darkness, a small goblin invasion party consisting of 14 warriors, looked ahead at the site of the fortress, where a huge, climactic disk-like thunderhead loomed. Armies massed under it, and all manner of strange lights and sounds came forth.

"Change of plan, mateys!" the leader called. "We're going to go raid a bronze colossus. Probably safer."

A dwarven caravan from the mountainhome approached the Twelfth Bay. The driver looked ahead at the ominous stormcloud and sounds of war. "Eh, what the hell," he said, continuing towards his destination anyway.

So, we have a battle for two worlds going on.  This is going to be EPIC!!!  Hey, when did you spawn Shoggoths and Daleks inside the citadel?  I didn't see you mention that anywhere before.

I did. "Salt-shaker creatures"/"The creatures from Weird's stolen lab" and "huge oil-slicks with floating eyes"